“In which we find ourselves at the ass-end of another week Becalmed on a foul, Sargasso Sea of Liebermans and Pundits,
…
All in a hot and copper sky,
The bloody Sun, at noon,
Right up above the mast did stand,
No bigger than the Moon.
Day after day, day after day,
We stuck, nor breath nor motion ;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.
and realize that, as bad as it was, the Mouse Circus has actually sunk even further below it’s already-debased standards into the
…
The very deep did rot : O Christ !
That ever this should be !
Yea, slimy things did crawl with legs
Upon the slimy sea.
Rime of the Ancient Mouse Circus” Edition:
On “Face the Nation”
Wanton hussy and Federal-contractor-Joseph Burkett’s-soon-to-be-baby-mama Lara Logan interviews Barack Obama.
Logan: B-man! How’s it going?
Obama: Lara Logan, let me…answer you…in this way:
Logan: Hey, I’m marrying the guy. Someday. OK?
Obama: Then my work here is done, Lara Logan. (Leans off-camera) Next!
On “Meet the Press”
Tom Brokaw "interviews" Al Gore. Then David Gregory (Chief White House Correspondent, NBC News) and Chuck Todd (Political Director, NBC News) dance their way into our hearts.
Brokaw: Isn’t T. Boone Pickens a douche?
Gore: No.
Brokaw: Shouldn’t you be Vice President? Or some kind of Czar?
Gore: Meh.
Brokaw: Aren’t congressional Democrats sucky losers?
Gore: No.
Brokaw: Isn’t Hillary Clinton nine kinds of bad crazy?
Gore: No.
Brokaw: Why can’t we do more drilling for oil to save us all from the terrible terribleness of changing anything ever? Huh? Huh?
Gore: We’ve already leased out enough land to start a whole ‘nother country.
Brokaw: But won’t there be pain? Won’t it be hard work? Won’t truck drivers hate you? Won’t children suffer and widdle puppies cry?
Gore: This is not a debate anymore, Tom, so why are you still asking me retarded questions?
Brokaw nods toward the camera and mouths “a-u-d-i-e-n-c-e o-f s-t-o-o-p-i-d-s”.
Gore: Oh. Yeah.
Brokaw: Besides, I din’t say the climate thingy isn't real! I din’t! I said there are debates over emphasis and timing.
Brokaw: If we set a timetable for getting off of carbon-based fuel, won’t carbon-based fuel just wait until we have left and then WHAMMO! The terrorists win?
Gore: Whammo? Really?
Brokaw: Have you called the Clintons recently?
Gore: I tried, but they were having a thing. And then they called back when I was calling them, and we missed each other. Then my phone’s base unit freaked out. Then I was in the shower. Then I forgot to turn off call forwarding. Then there was the time difference. Then my rates changed. Then...
Brokaw: Were you aware that Hillary Clinton is…a woman?
Gore: Yes. Also, Barack Obama is black, and Bill Richardson is Hispanic.
Brokaw: Isn’t “Hispanic” a derogatory terms, combining…as it…does (carefully reads notes) the sexist term “His” and the hysterical-lady word “panic”?
Gore: No.
Brokaw: How about your former testicle-cozy, Joe Lieberman?
Gore: Who?
Brokaw: Thank you, former Vice Pwesident, Ow Gohhw.
Gore: That’s “Al Gore”. “Vice President Al Gore”
Brokaw: Aww Goo.
Gore: “Al Gore”
Brokaw: Ladies and gentlemen, Ahh Glllh.
Gore: Ok this is how you end, Brokaw!
Gore Power Go!
Form of my Carbon Footprint
Up your ass!
Then, later, NBC’s Tom Brokaw asks NBC’s David Gregory and NBC’s Chuck Todd if it possible for NBC’s “Meet the Press” to be any more incestuous than it already is.
Brokaw: Isn’t it true that Al Gore is radioactive!
Gregory: Yes. And fat. And Orson Welles was also fat. And by the Generally Accepted Punditry Transitive Nanny-Nanny Boo-Boo rule, that means Gore is trying to take credit for “Citizen Kane” and “Touch of Evil”. Also that he died in 1985.
Brokaw: Having to talk about Teh Iraq and Teh Economy is confusing. Can we maybe have something big, single issue called “Teh Iraqonomy”? Because that would be both cool.
Brokaw (actual quote): If Obama buys a latte this week and listens to the barista…
Makes my kinda wonder what would happen if Brokaw had said "If McSame sends Lieberman to the drug store to buy him the August issue of Juggs and a palette truck of Depends, and listens to the cashier…"
On “Fox News Sunday”
Admiral Michael Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, can’t predict anything. Everything is contingent on everything else. All things are very complex. Might be this and might be that, depending.
Except, of course…
Wallace: Politics and the Sekrit Muslim Plans of Barack Hussein Obama aside, wouldn’t it be dangerous to withdraw troops from Iraq two years from now.
Mullen: Crazy-dangerous. The reason I wore this snappy, brown uniform is that, as I am sitting here, I’m actually pooping myself empty in fear of what Sekrit Muslim Barack Hussein Obama is planning to do.
Then, later…
Lieberman: We will have victory! We wouldn’t be having this conversation – this talk about getting out – if the Surge hadn’t worked. That is the goodness (WTF?)! MoveOn.org! Retreat and defeat! We are winning in Iraq today!
Bayh: I am delighted that John McSame has come around to Barack Obama’s view of foreign policy.
Bayh: Until last week, John McSame was against the Surge in Afghanistan. Does that mean he wanted us to lose in Afghanistan?
Wallace: Why would Barack Hussein Obama hold a rally in Germany? Doesn’t that make him a faggy internationalist?
Wallace: Some
Lieberman: I hope my support for John McSame shows that there is too much partisanship in Washington. And that only by selling out every one of my former colleagues in my former party can the Joe Lieberman Party be spared a trip to the Re-education Camps under the glorious Karl Rove One Party Wingnut regime to come.
“This Week” was pre-empted by coverage of some sort of “men in ugly pants” contest from that place where they made “Benny Hill”.
”The Chris Matthews Show” wandered in the video wilderness here in Chicago until late-late.
Shoulda kept wandering.
5 comments:
We are in your debt once again.
For fighting primal survival instincts to pull the plug on SMCD, for subjecting your retinas and cerebral cortex to toxic levels of drivel and bile, for pureeing said drivel and bile into a soothing salve.
Thank you
FTN's second guest was Henry Paulson. I lost my battle with sanity and tuned in. Surely the Treas. Sec. would be able to explain/defend capitalizing ongoing Ponzi Scams with taxpayer dollars?
Having lost afore mentioned battle... when I regained consciousness, (after my head exploded)sanity had been restored.
It was then that I realized that the SMMC is a weapon of mass- destruction. Anybody can say anything knowing they will not be challenged in any meaningful sense of the word.
The bailout of Freddie and Fannie will essentially and efficiently complete the transfer of wealth and power leaving only the facade of a once vibrant power.
Schiefer then THANKED Paulson for appearing...
My first thought was:
A pox on your zodiac, Driftglass, for even suggesting-mitt snark-that Lara Logan FORMER straight-talking CBS war correspondent is a hussy.
I'd first seen Logan on Teh Daily Show, fave of the Non-Stoooopids, and she kicked ass, as in (paraphrased):
--"If I watched network news in the US, I'd slit my wrists."
A lovely cognate of: If I told you the truth, I'd have to kill YOU.
--"US news outlets want to pretend Iraq and war is 'so last week's news.' But I can get real stories on even thin, sanitized say-NADA US news media by":
(a) Doing kick ass reporting and
(b) Holding a US news director's danglies in my ethical vise grip till he agrees to run it.
Any questions about why CBS shit-canned Lara Logan, "former" war correspondent extraordinnaire???
Okay, Mr. Drift. Now I understand whatcha were saying here. When I followed your link-anchored to "Hey, I'm marrying the guy some day"-I found statesman of foreign reporting Tom Fenton saying stuff like:
"She's absolutely fearless..."
and "Iraq has become a non-story ... that's what she's really
about ..."
Duly Noted:
Fenton, too, is a "FORMER reporter for CBS News" and he said all the above "in a phone interview from France." Course. Only us OCD types are sticking it out here in Amerika with the Pig People.
I'm still loving Lara Logan the Kick Ass. I'm not happy, and certainly not surprised, that Big Fake US Media turned her truth-telling in a war zone into shit and false-firings.
Hey, I may START buying the National Inquirer if this Warrior Woman is now on staff. (When can we see the Brass at CBS featured on the cover of Nat Inq with their hydra-headed alien babies??)
I apologize about that pox on you thing, above, Driftglass. I didn't check first.
And you certainly redeemed yourself with the following $900-per ounce golden gems:
A. Generally Accepted Punditry Transitive Nanny-Nanny Boo-Boo Rule
and
B. “This Week” was pre-empted by coverage of some sort of “men in ugly pants” contest from that place where they made “Benny Hill”.
Driftglass, I wanna be on the same prescription meds you is on. Please??
Yes, I heart Chuckie T. There, I said it. Something about when he goes all rattling off those numbers and such. Gregory, not so much.... not at all. He's a reader, not a figuerer outer of numbers. Big difference. Big.
If that mike carbunkle woulda been on there, that would have been the golden ring of msnbc's incestuacity. He's everywhere and I haven't a clue where they got him. But hey, he's irish catholic, so he's automatic, apparently.
awww goo's CARBON FOOTPRINT!!!! Priceless. :-D
Drifty, you gotta stop watching Sunday TV.
NO ONE can survive that shit without their soul burning in 7 hells, forEVAH!
Sides, we all know it's shit, that Sunday TV.
You paint a lovely cartoon, but, really, you could be doing brunch, walking the town, catching some blues, kayaking the lake.
Take Sunday's off, hoss . . . we won't mind . . . .
*G*
Driftglass take Sundays OFF? Fuck, Larue. Stop smoking that stuff before you comment. Christ on a crutch, boy, I don't care how many bevys of smart naked slutty castle wenches it takes to make these posts happen, Driftglass does not get to take Sundays off.
Drifty's soul? Writing is the only thing that preserves that morsel. I know.
rant off.
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