(Check out the hot babe in front of me.
I totally made out with her!)
First, I almost didn’t make it because when Clinton called I was with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!
Second, you should know that me and The Clenis have been, like, warrior blood brothers, since scout camp when I taught him some of my excellent bo staff skills and he gave me his tots.
Sure, when we were younger there were fights…
Clenis: driftglass, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with libidinous liberal lasses all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
driftglass: Since when, Clenis? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
But then I started helping him with his political campaigns and stuff.
At first he lacked confidence. I don’t care what you’ve heard from flippin’ liars like Emmanuel and Stephanopoulis and that bald freak Carville , I pretty much got him elected totally by myself:
I remember when he asked me, “Do you think people will vote for me?”
And I said, “Heck yes! I'd vote for you.”
And he said, “Like what are my skills?”
And I said, “Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache.”
So I came to his meetup. There were a lot of lame fakers there too. Idiots! But mostly Clenis asked me a lot of stuff about my bowhunting skills and blogging skills and Karl Rove's huge talons.
Then we pretty much hung out together after that for about a week and practiced our nunchuck moves (Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.)
Gosh, he even told me the sweet line he uses for hooking up with the monicas!
(“I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.”)
And afterwards I said, ”So, we're pretty much friends by now, right?”
And he said, “Yes.”
And I said, “So, you got my back and everything, right?”
And he said, “What?”
11 comments:
redux absurdum cum laude:
Uncle Rico: We also need some way to make us look official, like we got all the answers.
Kip: How bout some gold bracelets?
Uncle Rico: We need like some name tags with our picture on it, all laminated and what not. I mean, we gotta look legit man.
Kip: That's true, that's true.
drifty, you rock so totally i like almost dropped my numchunks and stuff.
LUCKY!
LUCKY!
She is kind of foxy. She is a threat to the Imperium and must be hidden away immediately! She is stirring the Alhouse loins in a wholly repugnant Girls Gone Wild kind of way! Cheney save me!
A. Althouse, esq.
Yes, Driftglass, but did you stick out your man-boobs? Ann Outhouse wants to know!
sharoney,
Yes. Yes I did.
Dear Napoleon: You had me going there for a minute, you prick.
pedro clenis is hilarious. i hope those t-shirts come in handy in '08.
k-bye!
The whole point of this was to give Althouse an excuse to raise up the long-since-discredited "Clinton's a sexual harrasser!" crap. Althouse didn't care who else got hurt in order for her to zap Clinton.
The ironic thing is that while none of the politically-motivated sexual-harrassment allegations against Clinton have held up, at least one of his attackers, Dick Armey, has had far more credible sexual-harrassment allegations lodged against him when he was head of the Economics Department at a Texas university. (One female graduate student of his actually transferred to another school to avoid Armey's gropings!)
Hahahahaha!
I think Phoenix Woman is right. I have nightmares about the Righty girls, cause I am a woman who makes the world worse.
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