Friday, October 31, 2014

Happy Halloween -- Part II

Here is another of my small contributions to the literature of my favorite holiday.


From September, 2011:

While I Pondered, Weak and Weary 

Man you shoulda seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe.

Overall, my super-ooper-duper meta-opinion of the Reagan Debate was this: "Like I give a shit what these people think."

However, the pure moonshine being huffed the next day by those who have been cast out of Wingnut Paradise and now scamper alongside the cretinous Leviathan they helped create, kicking impotently at its ankles, is kind of hilarious.

A prime example (FrumForum):
Republican primary voters have in the past shown themselves very tolerant of candidates with less than perfect mastery of the facts. But those other candidates had something else going for them, even Sarah Palin. What did Perry have?

As the economic news gets worse, Republicans will realize: they are not merely choosing a nominee. They very well may be choosing the next president of the United States. What confidence can anybody have that Perry will come to work as president any better prepared than how he come to this debate or that he’ll show more insight and intelligence than he did in this first national outing ? Not much.
Witness the cask-strength wishful thinking of another weak, ivory tower Conservative on the outs with his Movement because the monster he helped build finally turned on him.

For 30 years we on the Left have watched facts bounce off of the Republican Base voters ever-thickening yahoo carapace like spitballs off of a Rhino Runner, so let me ask Mr. Frum: Where exactly are this hidden reserves of rationality supposed to come from? From what previously invisible treasure cave will physicians suddenly emerge carrying the healing medicines that will break the wingnuts' fever and cure them of the fatal Limbaugh-Hannity Syndrome with which they are so gleefully afflicted?

And once this miracle does occur and the lame are made to walk, the halt are make to speak and the Teabagger is made to see reason, wouldn't the second or third batch of rodents they would put up against the wall for screwing them so badly be goofs like you, Mr. Frum?

Sorry, but no.

No such anti-stupid vaccine is on its way to save us (and if there were, damn betcha the Teabaggers would opt out, because [as we learned last night] the True Blue Conservative solution to Famine and Pestilence [and, presumably War] to the is to leave them for pure laissez faire Capitalism to sort out because, y'know, Freedom!) Instead, these Golem that the GOP constructed to win elections are performing exactly as designed, and as a confirmed Liberal who long ago gave up on trying to convince people to see reason who are actually proud of how fact-resistant they are, there is a certain, gallows humor in hearing the squeal of clowns like Frum as they are eaten alive by their bastard children.

See how they run like pigs from a gun
See how they fly
I'm crying

In fact...there I was...

Sitting on a cornflake

Waiting for the van to come

Corporation T-shirt

Stupid bloody Tuesday

Man, you've been a naughty boy
You let your face grow long

I am the Eggman
They are the Eggmen
I am the Walrus

Mister city policeman sitting

Pretty little policemen in a row

See how they fly like Lucy in the sky
See how they run

I'm crying
I'm cry-'-ng
I'm crying
I'm cry-'-

Yellow matter custard

Dripping from a dead dog's eye

Crabalocker fishwife
Pornographic priestess

I am the Eggman
They are the Eggmen
I am the Walrus
Goo goo g'joob

Sitting in an English garden
Waiting for the sun

If the sun don't come
You get a tan from

standing in the English rain

I am the Eggman
They are the Eggmen
I am the Walrus
Goo goo g'joob goo goo g'joob

Expert texpert,

choking smokers

Don't you think the joker
laughs at you?

See how they smile

like pigs in a sty
See how they schnied
I'm crying

Semolina Pilchard

Climbing up the Eiffel Tower

Elementary penguin

singing Hare Krishna

Man, you should've seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe...


Anonymous said...

Brilliant!!! Given the resources, I have no doubt you could create ass-kicking, commercial grade animated productions...

Mister Roboto said...

You forgot the chant at the end:


Or at least that is what I was told that chanting bit at the end of that song was saying, as it was probably intentionally rather garbled-sounding.