Friday, April 25, 2014

And The Authentic Frontier Gibberish Just Keeps On Coming

It appears that Sean Hannity may have finally met his very own Trash Can Man.

In an amazing interview with CNN’s Bill Weir (in which Weir explained using very small words that Sean Hannity doesn't like him, never liked him, and the only reason he gave him that stupid valentine is because nobody else would! Also the locks have all been changed. Also Sean's Mommy said they couldn't have no more sleepovers.) Free Range Moocher and former Fox News Superfriend, Cliven Bundy, continued to stand by his man.

Because, damn it, that's what Fox News patriots do!
"I don’t think I’ve been abandoned. I think maybe they misunderstood me a little bit,” Bundy said. “But I think Fox and I, I think, Hannity and I are just right on. I have no doubt that he would support me if he understood really what’s in my heart. And I think he does understand me.”
When told that Hannity had called him many mean names, Bundy responded with this airtight bigot logic:
“I hope I’m not that way. I’ll tell you what, I’m not.”
And then, this:
Weir suggested it was ironic that Bundy often spoke about those who are dependent on the government when he has been grazing cattle on federal land, and said some might call him a welfare queen. Bundy responded, “I might be a welfare queen.”
At which point were I Weir, I would have dropped the mic and left. Boom! What more is there to say? 

But Weir kept the interview going and caught the most revealing gem of all -- the fact that, because pig-ignorant Conservative racists like Bundy sincerely believe the Godawful shit they have roiling around in their heads, they are genuinely baffled that people shun and run when they start belting out their free-verse tributes to The Turner Diaries. 
Bundy, though, continued to back his comments on race, saying that he doesn’t understand why people are so upset and that his comments were “from the heart.”
This is why I refer to Bundy as "The Grand Dragon of the Tribe That Rubs Shit In Their Hair". Because, with the eager assistance of Fox News and Hate Radio,  Conservative bigots like Bundy have not only been encouraged to construct, furnish and take up residence in an all-encompassing and completely deranged ideology, they have been repeatedly assured by Fox News and Hate Radio that their batshit bar-stool sociology and unhinged paranoia are, in fact, deeply patriotic, Christian opinions which are shared by the majority of their countrymen and which they should proselytize proudly. 

From Bundy's perspective, he has been the model Conservative citizen.  To misquote Proverbs, Hate Radio trained him up in the way he should go, and when he got old he did not depart from it.  
He dutifully honored his Conservative media Mommy and Daddy and in return they made him a star and put him in from of a camera night after night to bring the people the Good News.

Yay!  Just like the Bible foretold!

Then, one day, there he was professing his sincere Conservative faith just as he'd been taught, when Mommy and Daddy suddenly freaked out for no explicable reason.  They started yelling at him.  They called him terrible names.  And then they piled him into the car, drove him out into the middle of the dark forest and abandoned him to the witches and the wolves and the Liberals.

Jesus, no wonder he's confused.  I mean, how can his close personal friend Sean Hannity possibly be against him when the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Himself would undoubtedly be in Cliven Bundy's corner were he alive today!
I thought about what Reverend Martin Luther King said. I thought about Rosa Park taking her seat at the front of the bus. Reverend Martin Luther King did not want her to take her seat in the front of the bus. That wasn't what he was talking about. He did not say go to the front of the bus and that's where your seat was. What Reverend King wanted was that she could sit anywhere in the bus and nobody would say anything about it. You and I can sit anywhere in the bus. That's what he wanted. That's what I want. I want her to be able to sit anywhere in the bus and I want to be able to sit by her any where in that bus. That's what he wanted. He didn't want this prejudice thing like the media tried to put on me yesterday. I'm not going to put up with that because that's not what he wanted. that's not what I want. I want to set by her anywhere on that bus and I want anybody to be able to do the same thing. That's what he was after, it's not a prejudice thing, but make us equal.

I took this boot off so I wouldn't put my foot in my mouth with the boot on. Let me see if I can say something. Maybe I sinned and maybe I need to ask forgiveness and maybe I don't know what I actually said. But you know when you talk about prejudice, we're talking about not being able to exercise what we think and our feelings. We're not freedom — we don't have freedom to say what we want. If I call — if I say 'negro' or 'black boy' or 'slave,' I'm — If those people cannot take those kind of words and not be offensive, then Martin Luther King hasn't got his job done yet. They should be able to — I should be able to say those things and they shouldn't offend anybody. I didn't mean to offend them.
Finally, this is just wonderful.  Go check it out -- "Cliven Bundy, born on a Monday..."


Yastreblyansky said...

Especially that last graf sounds like some moment of great American literature between Gertrude Stein and John Steinbeck, and has a lot of pathos in it. Bundy is a pig but I'm truly starting to feel sorry for him. How many welfare queens (of the kind that are into the government in the seven-figure range) are anywhere close to being that honest?

I, Vandervecken, say: said...

"In a sincere bigot is one of the most unequivocal cases of moral feeling." -- John Stuart Mill

Anonymous said...

This is just as much about ruralness, flyover, and Christianity than it is conservatism. Sure there are some good ones, but refusing to savage and blame those things as well is just as bad as centrists pretending conservatism doesn't have bad sides as well.

News flash, people who don't live in large coastal cities and love Jesus are morons, bigots, and the scum of the earth.... those people also tend to turn into conservatives.

Flyover and Christianity make people conservative. You cannot strike down conservatism without destroying rural culture and Christianity first.

If you aren't willing to do that, you are giving aid and comfort to conservatism and more of a problem than any centrist ever was.

Pinkamena said...

Fuck off, Geese. Get out before I make you leave.

Monster from the Id said...

So Pinkamena has become an Internet Tough Guy (tm). How adorable.

Pinkamena said...

I tile of these trolls, DG. Either do something about them or I will.

Pinkamena said...

Actually, you know what? Forget it. This is clearly what you want, DG - an endless expanse of troll comments and childishness from a bunch of unrepentant knuckle-draggers, shit-hairs, and racist-defenders.

I didn't realize you were deeply fucked up inside, but this is clearly what you're looking for in life. I won't stop you. But neither will I participate in your self-destruction.

I can only hope someone saves you from yourself. Soon.

Monster from the Id said...

Does Pinkamena know that s/he (I don't know Pinkamena's gender) can set up hir own blog for free, and ban those who are Not Of The Body from hir blog to hir heart's content?

Of course, s/he still won't be able to call the Lawgivers to do anything worse to those foul infidels who are Not Of The Body than to ban them, which may keep hir heart from ever being content, but such is life.

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