Corrupt Ex-Governor Update: Final Edition

He once thought God made him a Rod to rule over Kings.

Today, not so much.

Today, little Roddy

completes his long, strange journey to the Illinois Governors' Maximum Security Retirement Facility House of Many Doors.

Blagojevich gets 14 years in prison for corruption

By MICHAEL TARM and DON BABWIN, Associated Press – 2 mins ago
CHICAGO – Rod Blagojevich, the ousted Illinois governor whose three-year battle against criminal charges became a national spectacle, was sentenced to 14 years in prison Wednesday, one of the stiffest penalties imposed for corruption in a state with a history of crooked politics.

Blagojevich's 18 convictions included allegations of trying to leverage his power to appoint someone to President Barack Obama's vacated Senate seat to raise campaign cash or land a high-paying job.

The twice-elected Democrat is now the second former Illinois governor in a row to be sentenced to prison, and the fourth Illinois governor in the last four decades. His Republican predecessor, George Ryan, currently is serving a sentence of 6 1/2 years, also for corruption

...

These last few years have been a helluva wild ride down a helluva rabbit hole, during which I have tried in my own, small way to throw a little light on the many sides of Rod.

Blago, Illinois' own Agent of Chaos.


Blago the rock-em, sock-em defendant.

Blago the self-styled Militant Counterculture Leader.


Blago the Beloved Emperor.


Blago the Flamboyant Nutjob Autocrat.


Blago the Pure and Holy.


Blago the Sensitive.


Blago the unabashed Nixon fan.

Blago the Indictable Boy

They all said.

Well, he went down to Springpatch in his Goombah best
Indictable boy, they all said
Where he used dirty money to fill his war chest
Indictable boy, they all said

Tried to sell a Senate seat for some Blago bling
Indictable boy, they all said
'Cause dat Senate seat's a fuckin' valuable ting
Indictable boy, they all said
Well, he's just an indictable boy

He made a laughing stock out of Lincoln's home
Indictable boy, they all said
This glib little gunsel with the magic comb
Indictable boy, they all said
Well, he's just an indictable boy

After seven long years out of office he's hurled
Indictable boy, they all said
On to AM Radio and off to Dis-a-ney World
Indictable boy, they all said

Blago the gubernatorial dick/That was a clout machine to all the chicks...

3..2..1..

Who's the gubernatorial dick
That was a clout machine to all the chicks?
COIFFED!
Ya damn right!

Who is the moral train wreck
That'll fuck us all to save his neck
COIFFED!
Can you dig it?

Who's the cat that won't cop a plea
Until his peeps work out the fee?
COIFFED!
Right On!

They say this cat Coiffed is a nutbag governor
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
I'm talkin' 'bout Coiffed.
THEN WE CAN DIG IT!

He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his agent
ROD COIFFED!

But now that ride is over and the bad guy is going to jail, you may be wondering about what is to become of the Culture of Clout in Illinois?

Let me set your mind to rest.

Because even as one more of the Culture of Clout's most visible plague-bearers is

borne away to the Graybar Hotel

for a long, long time

we here in the Land of Lincoln know one thing about Clout.

Clout Bears all Things
Believes all Things,
Hopes all Things,
Endures all Things.

And the culture that spawned Rod Blagojevich and raised him up to a place of great power

will roll merrily on.