By 2020, America's new All Hallows Eve tradition will have citizens gathering in town squares around bonfires of Chinese-made junk to tell scary stories about the bad old days when a loose NeoConfederation of vampire bankers, Bible-clutching demons, sheet-wearing bigots and zombie politicians came thiiiiiis close to destroying the country.
"But didn't the people see the monsters coming?" the children will ask.
"Some did. Saw them coming clear as day from miles and miles away." the grownups will explain.
"Then why didn't they warn people about the monsters?" the children will ask.
"Some tried. Tried for years and years." the grownups will reply.
"Then why didn't the grownups stop them?"
"The monsters had lots of very, very rich friends who owned newspapers and radio stations and teevee networks. The friends of the monsters used their teevee and radio and newspapers to call everyone who disagreed with them a traitors."
"But once the monsters started to fuck everything up, why didn't they stop them them?" (Thanks to the Triumph of the Hippies, the word "fuck" had long since been welcomed into the public square.)
"The friends of the monsters used their teevee and radio and newspapers to tell the people that a better way to deal with the monsters would be to give them everything they wanted, and throw bags of money at them whenever they asked. They called it "Centrism"."
"Seems pretty fucking stupid."
"It was pretty fucking stupid, and after awhile all kinds of people from all over the place got sick and tired of the monsters fucking everything up, And they got really sick and tired of the monster's friends telling them to the only solution to every problem to keep giving the monsters everything they wanted, and keep throwing bags of money at them no matter what."
"And that's when the people made them stop?"
"Yes, that's when the people made them stop."
Then the children will hurry back home to dress up in the holiday's tradition horror costumes -- Fox News reporters, Wall Street bankers and New York Times op-ed columnists -- before scattering into the night to extort the traditional Flat Tax Cookies and candy-coated credit default swaps from the happy, unforclosed-upon homes of their friends and neighbors.
Until then, enjoy Edgar Allan Poe's "The Valley Of Unrest" as read by Elizabeth Ashley reading Lou Reed's "The Raven".
And have a happy and peaceful Halloween.
3 comments:
While Charlie Stross has suggested that corporations are Aliens:
http://www.antipope.org/charlie/blog-static/2010/12/invaders-from-mars.html
I'd suggest that if corporations are people, they are by definition undead, most likely zombies. Capable of nearly indefinite lifespan, very difficult to kill, incapable of thinking beyond the next fiscal quarter, and possessed of an overwhelming hunger (i.e. "The Social Responsibility of Business is to Increase its Profits") which is its only driving force.
hahahaha
that little blog makes me laugh and cry at the same time ... loved it!
*sob*
don't we wish
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