By now, everyone knows that Michael Steele -- the Party of Old White Men's delightfully buffoonish "See? We're not bigots!" codpiece -- does not know the difference between a Very Famous 19th Century English Novel and The Most Famous Russian Novel Ever Written.
Less well-reported are his responses to the "Literature, Talent and Piety" portion of the Righteous Conservative Christian Americans for Prosperity and Freedom vetting form he had to fill out when they discovered that he had once tried to head-fake his way into the United States Senate by pretending to be a Democrat:
Section Six: General Literary Knowledge
Q: Favorite part of any Shakespeare comedy?
A: When Macbeth busts out with "It's a cookbook!"
Q: Best surprise ending of a great modern work?
A: The end of "Atlas Shrugged", when it turns out that he was really back on Earth the whole time.
Q: Best scary ending?
A: When Oliver Twist finds out that Soylent Green is really people. Still gives me chills!
Q: Best existential question ever posed?
A: Easy. "100 Years of Solitude" when that guy says "Are you a Mexican or a Mexi-can't?"
Q: Best use of rhymed couplets.
A: Think you're clever, tryin' to sneak some more Shakespeare in the back way, but you can't fool Michael Steele. It's Hamlet, Act 9, Scene 32. "This is my rifle; this is my gun/ This is for fighting; this is for fun."
Q: Best last line?
A: 1984 -- "All is for the best in the best of all possible worlds."
Q: Favorite book of the Bible?
A: Gotta be Luke. Especially the part where Darth Vader says "Luke, I am your faaaather!" Loved that shit.
Q: What famous book begins with the line, "Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything truly wrong, he was arrested."
A: "Decision Points".
O brave new world!
That has such cretins in't!
*(Of course I stole it, but "where I steal I leave my knife".)
3 comments:
Yeah, well NPR announced this afternoon that picking Daley for CoS proves that Obama is "serious about moving to the center."
Even NPR thinks the Democrat Party is full of soshalists.
All good, but the last one is the best. Ah, the Kafka-Orwell Regime...
Another favorite Conservative novel "The Grapes of Wrath" with the famous line "Well, Fiddle-dee-dee! I'll think about it Tomorrow!"
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