Future Former RNC Chair Reveals He Is Black

Tomorrow's headlines...today. (Much of the prose below has been clipped, abused and repurposed from Marc Ambinder's article here.)

Dateline Washington D.C., August 22, 2012.

Former RNC Chair Michael "Mikey" Steele today revealed what many Washington insiders have long known: He is Black.

Steele arrived at this conclusion about his identity fairly recently, he said in an interview. He agreed to answer a reporter's questions, he said, because, now in private life, he wants to become an advocate for "civil rights" and anticipated that questions would arise about his participation in the Republican Party's descent from the Party of Lincoln into a cesspit of racism, xenophobia and ferocious ignorance in pursuit of votes and teevee ratings.

"It was the money," said Steele. "After Obama flipped the script on 'em, the Republican Party paid me a fucking assload of cash to basically stand out of front of the Little White Tent like a fucking Lawn Jockey to let the bigoted old shits who write the checks get their plantation owner ya-yas out."

Steel said that now that his private life is public, he would like to lead on so-called "civil rights issues".

"It's taken me 43 years to get comfortable with this part of my life," said Steele, now Fox News' cheerful "Uncle Ruckus" weatherman in Biloxi, Mississippi. "Everybody has their own path to travel, their own journey, and for me, over the past few months, I've told my family, friends, former colleagues, and current colleagues, and they've been wonderful and supportive. The process has been something that's made me a happier and better person. It's something I wish I had done years ago."

Steele's leadership positions in the GOP came at a time when the party was stepping up its racist dogwhistle activities. Steele said at the time that he could not, as an individual Republican, go against the party consensus. He was aware that Rush Limbaugh, the undisputed Boss of All Bosses of the Conservative Movement, had been working with Republicans to make sure that racist hysteria would feature prominently in the drive to take back the House and Senate in 2010.

Steele acknowledges that if he had publicly declared his melaninity sooner, he might have played a role in keeping the party from pushing its destructive, bigoted memes.

"It's a legitimate question and one I understand," Steele said. "I can't change the fact that I wasn't in this place personally when I was in politics, and I genuinely regret that. It was very hard, personally." He asks of those who doubt his sincerity: "If they can't offer support, at least offer understanding."

Because his tenure as RNC chairman and his time at the center of the Wingnut Hate Machine coincided with the Republican Party's attempts to exploit prejudice and cement the allegiance of social conservatives, his declaration to the world is at once a personal act and an act of political speech.

"I wish I was where I am today 20 years ago. The process of not being able to say who I am in public life was very difficult. No one else knew this except me. My family didn't know. My friends didn't know. Anyone who watched me knew I was a guy who was clearly uncomfortable with the topic," he said.

Someone once said that there are only two kinds of Republicans; millionaires and chumps.

But there is a third kind: self-loathing minority group outliers who will sell their own people to the howling wingnut mob in exchange for 30 pieces of silver and a pat on the head from toads who loathe them.

Fuck you, Mehlman.
Fuck you, Steele.