Friday, October 05, 2007

Lest we forget



Once upon a time, long before they got their “I Heart Strom” Memorial Underoos all up in a wide-stanced bunch over MoveOn.org, the Republican Party was publicly offered an opportunity to step up and denounce one of their Cesspit Conservative Spokesmodels.

Since High Dudgeon appears to be the only thing which budges them out of Obstructionist mode these day and into any form of action...

And this was not to rail against one of their own who had run a single fucking ad on a single fucking day.

Oh no.

Instead, they were offered the opportunity to walk away from and denounce one who has spent year after year, book after book, lecture after lecture – one who had built her entire career – being a hate-vomiting hag and objet d'wank for pasty Neocon basement dwellers everywhere.

All they had to do was step up to the microphone and say, yes, Ann Coulter does not speak for me…

…and of course lose the millions of dollars and votes the Berserker Right delivers.

Which is why after being offered the chance to walk their own highfalutin' talk, the Universe fell silent but for the sounds of crickets and tumbleweed.

Which is, of course, the point.

So this one goes out to Keith Olbermann, who, Lord knows, does the Lord’s work

in a dark world, and who I would prevail upon to change his target for just one Special Commentary (because I just like to assume he reads this blog.)

Dear Keith,

Beneath the farts and flourishes of failed amendments, procedural votes and resolutions passed, one fact remains:
About a quarter of the people in this country are just awful fucking human beings.


The walk upright like us. Eat and shit like us. Reproduce like us. But they are not like us.

We are, right now, enduring the final act of arguably the failingest, most incompetent and mentally underclocking President we have ever had. A President who has proven himself every day to be simultaneously a traitor, a sadist and a fop.

We are groaning under a debt his Administration created, an unnecessary and catastrophic war his Administration manufactured, and a failed foreign policy his Administration authored.

And for his sins and crimes he continues to enjoy the blind, rabid canine loyalty of the 27%, whose proxies in Congress -- the same wingnut hirelings who screamed themselves hoarse chanting “Up or down vote!” every time a single GOP nomination got snagged -- continue to happily obstruct even the mildest effort to curb their Dear Leader’s Forever War or in any way mitigate his “Bomb them ‘til they’re Christian” vision of world peace.

He was preceded by as moderate and center-seeking president as we have seen in my lifetime.

One who made it a point to appoint Republicans to his cabinet, give the Right a voice, and triangulate away to them a lot of what they asked for.

For his troubles he endured the blind, rabid reptilian rage of the 27% for seven years.

And then they impeached him.

These are the pod people that keep O’Reilly propped up, keep Limbaugh on the air, and keep Fox News profitable. The kept Jerry Falwell from being run out of Christendom on a rail, and keep James Dobson from sinking back into the tent-show fever swamp from whence he came.

They are the reason the Minority Party knows it will pay absolutely no price for thwarting the will of the majority of the America people.

They are the reason the War Party has, finally, resorted to simply lying outright about Iraq; because they know which side of the Mason/Dixon line their bread is buttered on.

The truth of the matter is -- like the segregationists and slaveholders from whose degenerate ideologies and DNA the modern GOP base springs -- thanks to these people and their leaders, the next President of the United State is going to have several genuine, historic disasters that need simultaneous and focused attention.

And as these people and their leaders amply demonstrated during the Clinton years and over the last nine months, they are perfectly willing to sacrifice the good of the nation to advance their narrow, odious agendas.

With an unbroken record about being completely wrong about every fucking thing, at this point -- if we were dealing with sane human persons -- owning up to being a Republican should be as filthy and shameful a thing as being caught abusing puppies.

With doves.

In a church.

On Easter Sunday.

But it isn’t.

Millions of Americans still wake up every day button-poppin’ proud that George W. Bush is their Preznit and Chief-Christian-In-Charge, and fatback-on-a-hot-stove sizzlin’ mad that Evil Liberal are still allowed to walk abroad in the daylight, plotting and scheming to destroy their beloved Jebusland.

Because the ugly truth is simply that the problem with the Republican Party is not George Bush, or Dick Cheney or Dough Feith or Rush Limbaugh or Pat Robertson: the problem with the Republican Party is Republicans.

The ugly truth is, Keith, that whether or not we’ll be able to weather the storms that are to come depends in large measure on how much longer the GOP base is allowed to control any significant part of our media, our politics or our faith.

I don’t know how much longer we can last until someone swings their camera around, points it at them and says: “You are the problem. You are a cancer on this good land, and whoever stands with you, votes with you or sides with you is unfit to call themselves good American.”

Without the Base to prop them up, the Republican Party would revert to what it always has been: the Natural Law Party as run by closeted gay men.

And without their front-men in the media, the Congress and the White House, the Base would lose the luster of the limelight that creatures like Coulter are for some reason allowed to wield and would once again have to settle for being no more or less than what they have always been: the last, slavering remnants of the Confederacy.

Squatting in the moral abyss of their Conservative White Jebus-festooned double-wides.

And whining impotently about Jews, queers, Negroes and uppity women.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dude, you sent this to Keith, right?

Anonymous said...

"the last, slavering remnants of the Confederacy"
Perfectly said, and accurate.

Anonymous said...

It's fun to contemplate the last throes of the regurcency until you realize that these are, historically, people who prefer to leave nothing but scorched earth in their wake.

If they can't have it, nobody will!

Somehow having the right to say I told you so is non-comforting.

Phil said...

The most troubling fact about these regressive fucks is that they breed.

Ivory Bill Woodpecker said...

I am aware of voter suppression and vote fraud, but I still think the main reason this minority can exercise power is that too many of the rest of us CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO GET OFF THEIR SORRY LAZY ASSES AND REGISTER AND VOTE, DAMMIT!, or else they waste their votes on quixotic candidates who have no chance of winning, because said voters can't bear the imperfections of the Democrats. Hey folks, one reason the Dems keep pandering [hopelessly] to the regressives is that THE REGRESSIVES VOTE AND TOO MANY OF THE REST OF US DON'T, creating the illusion that the majority shares their wretched sentiments.

Anonymous said...

Drifty, one of your best ever.

Man, you nailed it to the T . . .

It IS the dying remnants of The Confeds.
And they CANNOT be rehabilitated.

As our elected ofals seem reluctant to confront them, I pray perhaps their gene pool will simply die out like the dinosaurs did.

Perhaps we need to be their meteor.

Your blaze IS lighting up the sky . . thanks for all you do.

red rabbit said...

'tis a thing of beauty, sir

Interrobang said...

Drifty, if you haven't done it yet, go dig out your copy of The Glass Teat and reread Uncle Harlan's essays on "The Common Man." See how many times you can substitute the word "Bush" in any context where it's appropriate without any loss of meaning.

Then go curl up hiding amongst your shoes and under the shirts in your closet. Take several Kleenex; you may need them...

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