Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Why the Mittster will win


the Republican nomination.


It has nothing to do with his policies, because other than “double the size of Guantanamo” he appears to have none that anyone can actually drive a nail into.

And it obviously has nothing to do with his core beliefs or "values": this is a man who leaps and flops away from his own words harder than Asian carp

on the Illinois River.


Instead, he will win the nomination on the strength of his raw,


indefatigable,

(Close-up)


bi-lateral symmetry.


(The same close-up, but with right-side deleted and left-side mirrored)


This from “USA Today” (emphasis added...as symmetrically as possible):

The beauty of symmetry

Can your looks be measured by a mathematical ratio?
Studies show that "beautiful" people actually are just "more proportional" people.

By Elizabeth Snead

Everyone knows the adage "Don't judge a book by its cover." But we can't help it; we do just that, day in and day out, consciously and subconsciously. We rate others on the basis of their appearance and compare our own looks with the enhanced images of beautiful women and handsome men in movies and magazines and on TV and billboards.

Beauty not only sells -- it pays off. Beautiful babies get more attention from parents and teachers. Good-looking guys get more dates than average ones. Pretty women get out of traffic tickets and into exclusive clubs. The list of pluses for being one of the "beautiful people" goes on and on.

So what makes a person attractive? Don't bother looking in the mirror; just get out a measuring tape. Widespread studies, such as those conducted by Randy Thornhill (University of New Mexico) and Karl Grammer (University of Vienna), confirm that beauty is simply balance: The more symmetrical a face, the more appealing it appears.

The concept applies to bodies, too. Physical symmetry is subconsciously perceived as a reflection of a person's youth, fertility, health and strength. And although bilateral (left-right) symmetry might not be a bona fide health certificate these days, it has been a marker of good health and genes throughout human evolution.

"Our sensitivity to beauty is hard-wired -- that is, governed by circuits in the brain shaped by natural selection," says Nancy Etcoff, author of "Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty". "We love to look at smooth skin, shiny hair, curved waists and symmetrical bodies because, over the course of evolution, people who noticed these signals and desired their possessors had more reproductive success. We're their descendants."

Symmetry also is sexy. In a study by biology professor Thornhill and University of New Mexico psychology professor Steven Gangestad, hundreds of college-age women and men were measured (including their ears, feet, ankles, hands and elbows).

"Questionnaires revealed that men who were more symmetrical started having sex three to four years earlier and had more sex partners than their asymmetrical counterparts.


(And then a little touch which should transport Chris "English Leather" Matthews into bed-wetting paroxysms of man-crush ecstasy.)

"Symmetrical people smell better, too.

"Thornhill and Gangestad found that women prefer the scent of symmetrical men, and vice versa. So much for Old Spice and Chanel No. 5.
…"



Just another small example of how far from its origins as a Party led by a weird looking guy...


(From the AP)

Lincoln may have had facial defect

By CARLA K. JOHNSON, Associated Press Writer Mon Aug 13, 11:03 PM ET

CHICAGO - Artists, sculptors and photographers knew Abraham Lincoln's face had a good side. Now it's confirmed by science. Laser scans of two life masks, made from plaster casts of Lincoln's face, reveal the 16th president's unusual degree of facial asymmetry, according to a new study.

The left side of Lincoln's face was much smaller than the right, an aberration called cranial facial microsomia. The defect joins a long list of ailments — including smallpox, heart illness and depression — that modern doctors have diagnosed in Lincoln.

...


with good ideas, the GOP has fallen.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Either these journalists are way behind the times or the researchers are not up to date in their own field, because the connection between perceived beauty and the "golden ratio", between mate choice and morphological (a)symmetry, and between morphological asymmetry and parasitism or illness is OLD news. I learned about it during parasitology and sociobiology seminaries in my college days. Studies linking female beauty to symmetrical faces are old news, too. (It's different with male faces, make them too perfectly symmetrical and they look bland.)

I often come across news articles about scientists(*) announcing they've _just_ found out... latest research blablabla... stuff that's been known for 10-15 years. Or maybe it's the journalists' fault, they dig up stuff that's old and present it as the latest research when the topic is fashionable?

(*) I don't want to sound presumptuous, but every time I come across such an "outdated" article, 9 times out of 10 these "scientists" are American (or work at US American universities). Sometimes I wonder, perhaps they simply don't bother to read research papers by non-Americans, even if these have been published in English? I don't know. Well, to be fair one scientists mentioned in the USA Today article is from the University of Vienna.

Anonymous said...

And I saw wrinkles on the man's face, in the photographs in Sandburg's "Lincoln: The War Years".

When I looked closely, one said:

"Ft. Sumter", when Charles Pinckney, eschewing secession, said:

"South Carolina is too small to be a nation, and too large to be an insane asylum."

(Later on, it DID make a pretty good "first-mule-of-the-Confederacy", for W.T. Sherman, to flay on.)

And another one said: "Bull run" and one said "Antietam" and one said "Chancellorsville" and another said "Gettysburg"...and finally, there was one named "Appomatox"...and then there were 6 days...6 DAYS, mind you, of peace and contentment and rest...

For preserving the United States and representative government.

What a "salary"!

How well compensated he was.

Finishing the book, I only wanted Boothe to have spent a couple of years in jail, for burglary, for stealing what-might-have-been from the prostrate south, from America, and from the world.

Anonymous said...

With two left brains, Mitt might make some logical sense at least.

Anonymous said...

And I hate to get all serious and shit here but really, does anyone really think that "the base" (what a wonderful and appropriate appellation) will really elect a mormon? Can we just be honest here? I don't care a whit whether the man is baptist, catholic or whatever but these folks, in the base, they care. mormons are only slightly better than moonies and at least the fucking moonies send the bush family money and love on a regular basis. The mormons? Not so much.

Maybe a bunch of new things will happen in the '08 election but I doubt one of them will be the fundamentalist rethugs electing a mormon.

Anonymous said...

If he gets it, it will be because of the awesome symmetry of his fat, fat wallet.

I concur with my esteemed colleague Ice Weasel. I don't see the people who voted against Miscegenist McCain in the 2000 primaries voting for the freakin' Mormon who occupied the Throne of Dukakis. He may as well be the Baal-worshipping former governor of Sodom as far as they're concerned.

On the other hand, they nominated W, so no act of stupidity is beyond them.