Repeat after me:

This man is not a bartender...

From Yahoo News

Doctors warn of poisoning from hand gels
By Gene EmeryWed Jan 31, 5:13 PM ET

At least two people have become intoxicated by drinking hand-sanitizing gels, a potentially deadly habit, doctors reported on Wednesday.

A prison inmate and a hospitalized alcoholic both were treated for poisoning from the gels, which contain alcohol -- but not the same kind as found in beverages.
Evidently people misunderstand the labels that show the gels, foams and liquids contain alcohol, the doctors said in separate letters to the New England Journal of Medicine. Cases of people drinking the hand gels because of their alcohol content have not previously been reported in major medical journals.

"The Maryland Poison Center was called about a 49-year-old, usually calm prison inmate who was described as being 'red-eyed,' 'loony,' 'combative,' and 'intoxicated, lecturing everyone about life'," Dr. Suzanne Doyon of the Maryland Poison Center and Dr. Christopher Welsh of the University of Maryland School of Medicine wrote in one letter.

"Other inmates and staff reported seeing this prisoner drinking from a gallon container of Purell hand sanitizer over the course of the evening. "

In the second case, a 43-year-old man with alcoholism was treated for mysterious chest pains and other symptoms.
…

And this is not

an Appletini.

And, of course, insert one million “Clean and Sober” jokes here.