Protesting Dissent.

File under: Bartleby the Protester

Over at Mr. Gilliard’s House, a little hornet’s nest (or WASPs nest, if you want to be precise) was stirred up with this post from Mahablog entitled Protesting 101:

The short and sweet of it are Six Rules for changing the world if you’re going to do it using mass protests.

They are:

Rule #1. Be serious.

Rule #2. Be unified of purpose.

Rule #3 — Good protesting is good PR.

Rule #4 — Size matters.

Rule #5 — Be sure your opposition is uglier/more hateful/snottier than you are.

(I think of this as the “Bull Connor” Rule. If you can get Central Casting to line you up a fat, white, jackbooted imbecile of a villain who reeks of Klan cross-smoke, walks with the swaggering unearned privilege of Confederate Apartheid and calls everyone “niggra”…half of your battle is won.)

Rule #6 — Demonstrations are not enough

Good rules, but the kerfuffle that was kicked up was, in many ways, the eternal battle between the Suitist and the AntiSuitarians.

Commenters “dave©™” and “Richard Estes” over at Gilly’s respectively sum up the AntiSuitarian position thusly:

“…definitely worth discussing, and a much more valuable dialogue than liberals insisting upon the need for dress codes and language censors at marches involving tens of thousands of people.”

And thusly:

”A little late to all this, but let me say this: suits??? Are you fucking kidding me? People don't even wear slacks to go to church anymore, for Christ's sake.

If you look at films of the World Series from the early 60s, you'll see people wearing suits and ties at the game. That shit doesn't happen anymore, either.

I love you, Steve, but this is utter bullshit.”

This isn’t to single out anyone, but to further an important conversation. Specifically, to speak to this proposition:

Resolved, that from a strictly utilitarian point-of-view, the purpose being served by a mass protest should be aligned with the stagecraft of that protest.

To me it seems perfectly clear that a protest march -- any protest march, like any political movement -- is either a means to achieve an end, or it's....a Shriner's Parade.

Or Burning Man.

Now there's nothing at all wrong with funny hats and little cars or funny hats and getting naked in the desert, but these are not activities designed to impel the larger society to change their behavior or to bring their massed electoral pressure to bear on behalf of your particular issue.

For example, the very few times I have had to go to court, fucking-a I wore a suit. Shit, if I could have swung it without running afoul of the Karma Gods, I’da worn a priest’s collar, and done it for one, simple reason:

Whether you are going to have your day in court, or a job interview, or to march in the streets...at least 70% of your job is the theatah of the thing. These are places where, for strictly selfish, hard-nosed reasons, you want to be as credible as Caesar’s wife, by any means necessary.

What you are engaged it is performance art designed to achieve a specific goal, so why go out of your way to rack up points against your cause before you’ve even had chance to get a word out of your mouth?

Forty years ago, when Dr. King spoke on the Mall in Washington, he was not talking to Civil Rights activists. He was speaking for them and to the conscience of Middle America in a voice that was fierce and proud and hopeful and beautiful. He understood ritual and spectacle and he understood that when you speak the raw truth to a sick and powerful nation from a position of moral authority but physical vulnerability, you’d best leave nothing to chance, including your threads.

Forty years later, Jon Stewart goes on teevee every day and tells more truth and makes more of a dent in the skulls of the simians that are running the country in an hour than you or I will probably ever do in the very best month of our lives. And you know what? Mr. Stewart Corrupts the Youth of America wearing a blazer, a crisp shirt and a tie done up in what appears to be a double Windsor.

Suiting up for a battle in the public square isn’t conformity. It’s stagecraft.

Keith Olberman? That Rebel Without a Pause wears a fucking suit.

So does Stephen Colbert.

So does Letterman.

And Obama.

So does Kennedy.

So does Conyers.

And Hagel.

And Kucinich.

And Sinatra.

And Sharpton, in case you hadn’t noticed.

Also handmaidens of the Dark One like Falwell and Dobson and Cheney.

And when those nice young men from the LDS come to pester you about the sorry state of your immortal soul, they’re in white shirts and ties.

Why?

Because like it or not, it confers a certain degree of immediate and unearned respectability that helps you get your foot in the door.

So is that fair?

Of course not. But so what?

I was promised a future of Lucite sandals, shiny unitards, sassy capes, and taking the 5:15 ballistic rocket back home from my job in the orbital research lab, and that didn’t quite come off as planned. The world we have is the world we have, and pretending that the impression you make makes no difference to the cause you champion – especially in a 24/7 Media Universe -- is simply ridiculous.

Now while this canard that “everybody” goes to church in shirtsleeves is ridiculous, I have certainly been to plenty of church services and more than one wedding where denim and boots with a silver bola might be considered a bit overdressed.

I have been to at least one Wiccan event where clothing was very much optional.

Again, so what?

In my time I have also been to any number of weddings and bar and bat mitzvahs where I wore a yarmulke and at least tried to not stick out like a treif thumb.

Also my share of Catholic Latin mass.

Ditto African Methodist Episcopalian services.

Ditto an ashram or seven and a couple of mosques.

But those were and are inward-facing rituals designed by and for the benefit of the participants and their deity of choice. And whether or not I was remotely interested in their faith, pamphlets, women or house Kool-Aid, I was raised to at least respect the rites and customs of that House while I was a guest there. To learn when to take a knee, when to take my shoes off and when to cover my head as a sign of courtesy if not interest.

But protest marches are most emphatically outward-facing rituals. They are specifically, explicitly designed to attract and focus the attention of people who are not already in “the church”.

So if you want to go to court wearing a hoodie, hanging your best "Fuck You" face with your cell chirping away every 90 seconds, that’s cool with me. It's a free country.

But when I get kicked and you get fined, please don't cry me any fucking tears.