Coffee's for Evangelicals

Only!

It seems the Dear Leader is not at all happy that the Reality he has spent so much of our blood and treasure cowering from has starting coming home to roost…

Scandals stymie W's momentum
BY THOMAS M. DeFRANK
DAILY NEWS WASHINGTON BUREAU CHIEF
WASHINGTON - Suddenly, like the fierce "blue northers" that sweep across Texas each autumn, the political winds have turned bleaker for Republicans - and President Bush's private mood has blackened accordingly.

…
Now, however, friends, aides and close political allies tell the Daily News Bush is furious with his own side for helping create a political downdraft that has blunted his momentum and endangered GOP prospects for keeping control of Congress next month.

Some of his anger is directed at former aides who helped Watergate journalist Bob Woodward paint a lurid portrait of a dysfunctional, chaotic administration in his new book, "State of Denial."

In the obsessively private Bush clan, talking out of school is the ultimate act of disloyalty, and Bush feels betrayed from within.

"He's ticked off big-time," said a well-informed source, "even if what they said was the truth."

…
Moreover, Bush's personal disgust with the GOP sex scandal involving ex-Rep. Mark Foley has exacerbated his already-strained relations with congressional Republicans. While publicly embracing House Speaker Dennis Hastert, sources close to Bush say he thinks Hastert and other GOP House leaders have bungled their handling of the Foley affair and look like they've been engaged in a coverup.

Bush has complained, these sources said, that the scandal torpedoes furious GOP efforts to reenergize a dispirited political base - especially Christian conservatives.

"There's steam coming out of his ears over the Foley thing," someone who talks to the President regularly said. "The base is starting to get turned off again."
…

And so, behind closed doors at an undisclosed location, Karl Rove explains the situation to congressional Republicans in a language they can comprehend.

(Purloined by me from “Glengarry Glen Ross”)

Karl Rove: Let me have your attention for a moment! So you're talking about what? You're talking about...bitching about that lawyer you shot, some son of a bitch that doesn't want to vote, somebody that doesn't buy that gay marraige is a real problem, some page you're trying to screw and so forth.

Let's talk about something important. Are they all here?

Tony Snow: All but Foley.

Rove: Well, I'm going anyway. Let's talk about something important! (to Joe Leiberman) Put that coffee down!! Coffee's for Evangelicals, only.

Do you think I'm fucking with you?

I am not fucking with you.

I'm here from Pennsylvania Avenue. I'm here from Bush and Cheney. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Leiberman?

Leiberman: Yeah.

Rove: You call yourself a DINO, you son of a bitch?

Macaca Allen: I don't have to listen to this shit.

Rove: You certainly don't pal. 'Cause the good news is -- you're fucked. The bad news is you've got, all you got, just one month to regain your jobs, starting tonight. Starting with tonight’s news cycle.

Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this year’s electoral contest.

As you all know, first prize is a shot at the White House in ‘08. Anyone want to see second prize?

Second prize's Secretary of Agriculture.

Third prize is you're indicted. You get the picture? You're laughing now?

You got issues. Bush and Cheney paid good money. Get them in front of the cameras and sell them! You can't win the Talking Points you're given, you can't win shit, you ARE shit, hit the bricks pal and beat it 'cause you are going out!!!

Leiberman: The issues are weak.

Rove: 'The issues are weak.' Fucking issues are weak? You're weak. I've been in this business fifteen years.

Tom Reynolds: What's your name?

Rove: FUCK YOU, that's my name!! You know why, Mister? 'Cause you had to hide behind 8-year-olds to get here tonight, I got here in Air Force One. That's my name!! (to Leiberman) And your name is "you're wanting." And you can't play in a man's game. You can't win on queers? On flag burning? On Mexicans? (at a near whisper) And you go home and tell Hadassah your troubles. (to everyone again) Because only one thing counts in this life! Get them to vote for the Party of God! You hear me, you fucking faggots?

(Rove flips over a blackboard which has two sets of letters on it: ABL, and AIDA.)

Rove: A-B-L. A-always, B-be, L-lying. Always be lying! Always be lying!!

A-I-D-A. Attention, Ignorance, Deception, Action.

Attention -- did you get their attention?

Ignorance -- are they ignorant enough to buy your bullshit? They better be, because it's fuck or walk. You win or you hit the bricks!

Deception – Are you willing to lie in the name of Christ?!!

And action.

A-I-D-A; get out there!! You got the GOTV drives; you think these Fundies came into the GOP to get out of the rain? Guy doesn't become and Conservative Evangelical unless he’s bugfuck crazy and dumb as a bag a doorknobs. They’re just sitting out there waiting to give you their votes! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? (to Allen) What's the problem pal? You. Allen.

Allen: You're such a bad ass, you're such a genius. Why is the Great Turdblossom coming down here and waste your time on a bunch of bums?

(Rove sits and takes out a Presidential Medal of Freedom)

Rove: You see this Medal? You see this Medal?

Allen: Yeah.

Rove: That Medal has been given to men like Fred Korematsu and Simon Wiesenthal. And with a phone call I can get one struck and awarded to any drunk or degenerate I pull out of any alley in this town. How much dick do you swing? You see, pal, that's who I am. And you're nothing. Got a water retention pond named after you? I don't give a shit. Got some TV money tucked away? Fuck you -- go home and fuck a page!! (to everyone) You wanna stay out of federal prison? Win!!

(to Kathrine Harris) You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you retro-titted freak?

You can't take this -- how can you take the abuse you get on Meet The Press?!

You don't like it -- leave.

I can go out there right now with the Talking Points you got, and get a dog’s ass elected to the Senate from Florida myself! Tonight! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A!! Get mad! You sons of bitches! Get mad!! You know what it takes to sell fascism to the American people?

(He pulls something out of his briefcase)

Rove: It takes a traitor’s heart to sell it.

(He's holding a lump of bloody meat on string, over the appropriate "area"--he puts it away after a pause)

Rove: Go and do likewise, gents. The votes are out there, you pick ‘em up, the election’s yours. You don't--I have no sympathy for you. You wanna go run on those issues – fags, flags, wetbacks and ay-rabs -- and win, win, it's yours. If not you're going to be out on your ass and more than likely sucking prison dick. Bunch of losers sitting around in a bar. (in a mocking weak voice) "Oh yeah, I used to be a Republicans Congressman, it's a tough racket."

(He takes out large stack of red index cards tied together with string from his briefcase)

Rove: These are the new Talking Points. This is the October Surprise. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Because to give them to you is just throwing them away.

(he hands the stack to Snow)

They're for winners.

I'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. (to Allen as he picks up the Presidential Medal of Freedom) And to answer your question, pal: why am I here? I came here because Bush and Cheney asked me to, they asked me for a favor. I said, the real favor, follow my advice and Gitmo your Pop-Goes-The-Jewboy, Confederate Flag humping ass because a loser is a loser.