Sunday, May 01, 2005

Hey Kids! Remember me?


Bernie Goetz Hearts Florida. Posted by Hello

This from Newsday


NRA axiom now Fla. law
BY ANDREW METZSTAFF WRITER
April 28, 2005
Self-defense law is built
on the bedrock assumption that people ought to try to escape an assailant before resorting to deadly force - unless the confrontation occurs at home, where it's presumed retreat is no longer an option. The National Rifle Association has a new version, and it can be summed up as Stand and Deliver.An NRA-crafted bill eliminating the need to retreat from a threat in public places and more freely allowing residents to "meet force with force" was signed into law Tuesday by Florida Gov. Jeb Bush.

The gun rights group is now promising similar stand-your-ground measures around the country, even in traditionally liberal states like New York."We will go everywhere, red states and blue states, including New York," Wayne LaPierre, the NRA's executive vice president said yesterday. "It is both a liberty and a crime issue with a big political tailwind. Politicians are putting their career in jeopardy if they oppose this type of bill."

LaPierre said he plans to immediately begin "dropping bills" in capitals, targeting at least 29 states, including New York, that have laws with specific retreat requirements. He said the issue will be "a great one to put politicians' feet to the fire" during elections.The law sailed through the Florida Legislature. Gun control advocates, criminal justice experts and many other police and prosecutors, however, disapproved. Miami Police Chief John Timoney said it encourages violence and he fears people will believe they have "total immunity from prosecution."

Rep. Dan Gelber, a Miami Democrat who was one of 20 lawmakers to oppose the bill, said "it doesn't quite legalize duels, but it comes very close."

...


Understand a few things:

First, Wayne LaPierre is a monster. A dyed-in-the-wool, America Hating thug with itty-bitty-penis-compensation issues so huge they blot out the Sun. His vision of the perfect world is the “Road Warrior”. His vision of the perfect law would be one that would mandate fetuses be allowed to carry thermobaric weapons, and blast their way out of the womb it they felt threatened. His vision of a perfect action hero duo is Tim McVeigh and his youthful ward Eric Rudolph. An extreme ideologue who is unperturbed at the slaughter that would be unleashed by implementing his Final Solution to the strapping Negroes and sinister Messicans that mock him in his impotent, little-man dreams.

In fact, he seems squirmingly delighted at the thought of wasting the Evil Other in that particularly sickening, feverish way that weak, cowardly cuntish men display when they wrap their pink, little piggies around a macho lump of deathsteel.

In other words, the very model of a modern Republican Chickenhawk Major General. They love the dying, they do. Love, love, looove it. Every city flattened, every ay-rab hooked up to a car battery, every chalk outline where a human being used to be. How odd that these tiny, pasty child-men are always the ones slamming away at the Evils of Hollywood, while inside their paper-mache skulls , instead of a realistic evaluation of the Real World, they’re running a 24-hour “Dirty Harry”, “Rambo”, “Death Wish XII” film festival.

Second, when soldiers talk about war, I listen and when cops talk about gun control, I listen. I might not agree -- I might think some of them are nuts and some of them are sadists and some of them are corrupt beyond nickle-and-diming -- but I give them the courtesy they've earned by walking into danger to keep me from harm. When chickenshit, arm-chair Vikings talking of conquest and battle and honor, not so much.

Third, can we write off Florida yet? Just run a big, ol’ band saw along the top of the state and push it out to sea? A damned ship packed with doomed souls, captained by deranged Jebediah Ahab Bush, plying the waters of division and hatred, eternally pandering, catering and fellating the Great White Evangelical as he drives his freight of lunacy and medievalism further and further over the horizon, far from any contact with sanity.

Fourth, Bernard Goetz, Bernard Goetz, Bernard Goetz.

One day soon, some angry, “Falling Down” Floridian is going to board the Metrobus at the Wal-Mart stop at Broward. He’ll be nine months unemployed thanks to generous Bush Administration subsidies that allowed his company to be “rightsized” to the other side of the Earth where a 20-year-old Bangalor engineer now does his job for 1/7th of what he was once paid.

is unemployment will be tapped out, thanks again to the Bushies. Job training programs than might have helped have been mocked and gutted by, well, take a wild guess.

Wal-Mart’s the only place that has called him back, but they pay peanuts, and their health care is a joke, and his wife’s heart problems aren’t getting any better. The A/C will be dead – again – and the windows will be open, letting in the screaming white-noise of another day of bumper-to-bumper traffic, and the stink of unburned diesel.

It’s sweltering, and the pack of young men sitting across from him are swearing loudly and continuously, almost loud enough to drown out the undecipherable lyrics that thunder out of their boom-box. The man asks them to turn it down.

They tell him to fuck off.

He starts yelling that you fucking niggers need to turn your fucking jungle music down right now!

Then they start laughing at him.

That’s when he draws and starts firing. Tracking coolly, left-to-right, just like he’s practiced at home, in the living room, while his wife slept. Just like they do in the movies. Just like he has always dreamed of doing, although in the confines of a crowded city bus, there’s really no need for much in the way of technique.

He feels like a God. For one moment, this typical Florida middle-class Republican cipher will feel like a beautiful, omnipotent, avenging God...paying the scum of the Earth back for the misery they cause him.

And like all those like him, he is dependably oblivious to the fact that is has been the policies of the political party to which he has been so slavishly loyal that have actually boxed him in to this mad, murderous corner.

He’ll kill three, wounds two.

Welcome to Wayne LaPierre’s vision of Heaven.

53 comments:

Anonymous said...

Brilliant as usual. Since the Thugs have a predilection for giving laws cutesy names, like "Amber's Law" and "Lacy's Law", may I modestly propose:

"Travis Bickle's Law"

Anonymous said...

When we perform the Floridaectomy we must remember to include the panhandle. It's OK if we we allow for a generous cut, since all we'll hit is Georgia, Alabama and Mississippi...

Anonymous said...

I lived for a while in the Florida panhandle, which we referred to as "LA" (Lower Alabama).

Mister Roboto said...

Saw off the Florida peninsula? You must be thinking of the very same "Bugs Bunny" cartoon of which I'm thinking. ("South America, take it away!")

Anonymous said...

La Pierre has been the longest-running Third Reich punch line of my lifetime. But the joke has never been funny and he never goes away.

parsec

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thanks all.

Steve,
Well I guess that's why its so important that the Ultras always stand against "hate crime" legislation AWA are working overtime drive evil, liberal activist judges into the wilderness: Judge Lynch can't very well make his big comeback if people keep insisting on waving the constitution around like it was some big deal.

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