The Purpose Driven Wife.

Terry who?

I have said before in another venue, Terry Schiavo represented the Evangelical Right’s ideal of the Perfect Christian Martyr Wife: submissive, brain dead, poseable, but perhaps with an intact reproductive system. A passive, female, Fundamentalist Rorschach test, onto which you could project any scriptural fantasy you wanted. Pretend any of her random groans and noises meant whatever you were predisposed to hear.

According to the latest poll -- out today -- 64% of Floridians disapproved of how the Congress handled this mess, and 59% of Floridians disapproved of how the Fabulous Bush Brothers behaved.

Of Floridians. With all due respect to the many wonderful people who live there..crazy-assed Floridians thought this was a colossal fuck-up and a frightening overreach on the part of the Small Government Boys by about 2-to-1. See, this is what happens when you let the coolant level fall too low in the Loony Party Reactor and everyone can get a bright, clear look at the radioactive insanity at its core.

And now, it’s…Terry Who? Oh no, let’s not get all bogged down with what kinds of mendacious crap we were pulling last week. Sleep. Sleeeeeeep.

Well before the tragic circumstance of Ms. Schiavo slip forever down the GOP memory hole, consider what an almost boundless cornucopia of Rightwing Purpose she has served so far.

Like a good Christian Soldier...even after she was all but dead, her mortal remains laid down suppressing fire for the House Majority Lichen. Without her, how could enough dust and shrapnel possibly have be kicked up around DeLay so that he can hope that we don't notice that he’s a liar, he's a liar and -- Oh My Lord! -- his pants are on fire!

Like WWII kamikaze “Thunder God” Ohka pilots …the Republicans rode her right into the hull of government itself.

Like a rental truck packed with just the right cocktail of nitrogen fertilizer and rocket fuel…the Tim McVeigh-wing of the GOP that still swear Eternal War against the government (Despite the fact that they are the government. And "war" these days in the same sense that Caligula made war on the Roman Senate…and for the same reasons) parked her directly under the last line of defense against pure, theocratic rule: our independent judiciary. Then lit the fuses. Then ran like the Devil.

Like Jesus Himself...she causeth George Bush to practically rise from the Dead. For lo, during the First Great Crisis -- the run-up to 9/11 -- when his desk was littered with dire warnings of imminent attacks, he did lay low like a dog on his Texas ranch. And lo, during the Second Crisis -- the Christmas Tsunami -- as tens of thousands perished and millions cried out in pain, he again chose to lie doggo down deep in the fastness of his Executive Demesnes.

And the Left did ask, "WTF is the matter with this clown? Is he just too drunk to be poured out in front of a camera?"

And the Right Did rage, "No! He is busy! The very weight of the world rests upon his Mighty Shoulders. And where were you when the Preznit laid the foundation stones of the Universe?” And lo, even the greatest disaster in modern times was not of sufficient existential importance to rouse the Man from his ethical slumber for many days: he’s just that important.

But lo, when the Third and Greatest Crisis to confront our fair Republic in the modern age was upon us –- a private, family fight over the fate of a single woman in a Florida hospice -- George Bush decisively laced up his Seven League Boots and energetically bounded the distance between Crawford and Washington in one, sweet Paul Bunyan move.

Was this woman from Pinellas packin’ WMD’s? No.
Was she caught red-handed hunting for Yellow Cake uranium, the better to threaten our Nation with? Not so much, no.

But lo, GW heard heard Massa DeLay's voice utter her magic name, and hied he thence. To sign a Bill into Law, in his jammies…still wearing his big-boy jumpin’ boots.

And like God's own Platinum Card...she has helped some of creepiest, most demented, most dangerous fringies in the land to replenish their coffers.

Like Jesus (Again! Such a woman!) she hath bestowed upon Herr Doktor Senator Frist the gift of Sight. And apparently not just any sight, but the gift of some kind of X-Files, super-secret Remote Viewing Sight. The kind the CIA was rumored to be experimenting with in the 60's. Perhaps he can use it again to pierce the veil of time and see his political future. Think Trent Lott...only with more dents because the fall will be further.

The GOP has been hosing down their radical agenda with the all-purpose, whitewashing Lamb's Blood of “9/11 Changed Everything” for over three years now, and the tank is starting to run a little dry. Osama Bin Who? Weapons of Mass…Fuggedaboudit. And while the MSM has been obligingly going along with the okey-doke for years like a kitten chasing a laser pointer dot, lately a few of them have started asking, y'know, “Questions.”

And not nice, softballing, Manwhorish questions either.

And into this distraction-depleted environment fell poor Terry Schiavo: The Purpose Driven Wife.

What? Does the GOP honestly think we’re going to let them forget?