Monday, January 01, 2018

Matthew Dowd Remains a Fundamentally Ridiculous Person

In 2017, no American institution took more of a relentless and well-deserved pounding than the Beltway High and Holy Church of Both Sides Do It.  Almost every day of the year -- sometimes every hour -- President Stupid and his mob of Republican criminals and traitors and lunatics rained phenomenological MOAB's down on this enormously profitable cult.

As a result, the priests and deacons of the High and Holy Church of Both Sides Do It spent the first year of the reign of President Stupid cowering in the basement of their cathedral, listening to the mighty timbers of their mighty Fortress of False Equivalence moan and crack under the sheer weight of the evidence that Both Siderism is nothing but toxic, venal, self-serving bullshit.  Hell, 2017 slapped the False Equivalence dick out of his mouth the Pope of High and Holy Church of Both Sides Do It himself -- Mr. David Brooks of The New York Times --  so many times that by the end of our annus horribilis Mr. Brooks was reduced to making up truly ridiculous lies (even for David Brooks) about the Obama Administration twice in one week, and hiding behind "woke activists, the angry Sanders socialists and social justice warriors"  just to keep the scam going.

But by setting the Stupid Bar for 2018 this high so early, ABC New's chief political analyst Matthew Dowd may have Mr. Brooks beat (h/t to Travis McGee for the head's up):

(This has become something of a tradition with Mr. Dowd, who likes to start each new year off by making an ass of himself in public.)

If this sounds a trifle familiar, it should, because it is the latest iteration of the Bromide Party which Mr. Dowd was trying to kickstart last summer.

And what exactly does the Bromide Party stand for?

I'm glad you asked!
The Bro-Mide Party believes in good stuff and not bad stuff.

The Bro-Mide Party believes in Country over Party.

The Bro-Mide Party believes that the Murrican People stand with them in being in favor of positive things and against negative things.

The Bro-Mide Party believes in Civility n' shit.

The Bro-Mide Party believes the K'rupt Duopoly is behind all of our problems.

The Bro-Mide Party believes in compromise, except, of course, with the K'rupt Duopoly.

The Bro-Mide Party believes that since Both Sides Are Equally Awful, the Bro-Mide Party will inevitably sweep to power and enact lots of good stuff and no bad stuff (Bromide Party math:  Your K'rupt 65 million votes plus my 10,000 votes ... will give me 65,010,000 votes!)

The Bro-Mide Party believes that once they sweep to power they can swiftly and directly translate the sentiments found on vapid motivational posters fading away on the walls of middle management offices across America into concrete economic policy, climate change policy, foreign policy, health care regulatory policy, education policy, housing policy, public lands policy, energy policy, judicial policy, etc.

And lastly, the Bro-Mide Party proves P.T. Barnum was right: there's a sucker born every minute, and two to take him.
Yes, Mr. Dowd would have the world believe that he sincerely believes this claptrap, which I would gladly wave off as the harmless crackpottery of a political simpleton if Mr. Dowd were employed slinging Pralines-n-Cream at Baskin-Robbins or teaching driver's ed at a local high school.

But Mr. Dowd doesn't fill cones or grade students on their parallel parking for a living.  Mr. Dowd was a chief political strategist to President George W. Bush, a senior adviser to the Republican National Committee and is now, inexplicably, the chief political analyst for ABC News.

Funny old world.

Behold, a Tip Jar!


Neo Tuxedo said...

"You and I are not in the big club. By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long..."

eddie blake said...

....and we're fucked.

you're right, they're gonna erase trump and his fascists. then it will be back to hippie punching 24/7.

Chan Kobun said...

And yet he gets lots of money and we don't. Damned morals getting in the way of financial security.

Potomacker said...

There is a tendency among some English speakers, who thus demonstrate their lack of basic grammatical competence, to switch to using 'whom' arbitrarily in place of who because they believe, seemingly, that it lends an air of authoritative somberness to their statements. Btw, what does Dowd do for a living?

Davis Statton said...

Potomacker beat me to it, but that "Whomever supports the truth..." really pisses me off. He gets paid to write!