Saturday, July 29, 2017

The Thuggernaut Has No Idea How Anything Works

Last night I joked that this --
"Who cares if it's shit?  Just pass it or I'll kick your pansy ass all over Twitter"
-- would be President Stupid's St. Crispin's Day speech.

And this morning, right on time, President Stupid is telling Mitch McConnell to dance, monkey, dance!

First, a lesson in Fake History from the raving bigot that the GOP base adores:

Of course Democrats had ample opportunity to do exactly this in 2009 and did not do it, but President Stupid doesn't know that because -- like the entire Republican base -- President Stupid is always wrong but never in doubt.

And now, on with the Inspirational Speech!

You few, you miserable few, you band of patsies;
For he to-day that sheds his political capital for Trump
Shall be Trump's scapegoat; and whatever else he says or does,
He will wear Trump's brand on his ass forever:
And Democrats in D.C. now a-bed
Shall laugh so hard that they poop a little,
That the Party of Reagan handed itself over to an unhinged shit-gibbon
Because of some fucking emails.

Behold, a Tip Jar!


bowtiejack said...

Love the speech. Made my day.

proverbialleadballoon said...

Teddy Roosevelt: Walk softly, and carry a big stick. President Small-hands: Crash around like a bull in a china shop, has a little stick.

This week was an epic clusterfuck for Trump, for Republicans. So delicious. /kisses fingertips mwah! This total shitshow has only just begun, but let's step back and savor, smell the roses along the way.

Trump has no idea how anything runs. Mcconnell got shivved by McCain in the best moment on television since the Red Wedding. Fucking John McCain wrote his character arc to redemption and America savored McConnell's dead turtle eyes downcast to the ground. /mwah! McCain's face turn made possible by 2 Republican women heroines and 48 united Democrats, standing Tough. Trump apparently doesn't know it yet, but Republican healthcare failed.

Next up, smug-faced Paul Ryan is going to get Murked by friendly fire. Is he going to cry like Boener when he can't get his own caucus to pay the nation's bills? We shall see.

All the while, Trump is lobbing grenades, anything to distract from Russia. He appears to be trapped, and it is just a matter of time. Priebus got shitcanned yesterday, you have to think that makes Republicans nervous. Trump is cutting out all Republican establishment from the White House. He's threatening Republican senators. Da Mooch is gonna come over there and break your thumbs, Murkowski, if you don't watch yourself.

The President Small-hands administration: five giant scandals a week. Events that would be news-worthy for weeks or months in any other time, sometimes don't even last the day, when another bomb drops. 30% of the country thinks this is great, and another 10% are willing to go along with it because Republicans are in power. Let's take the country back from these meatheads and fascists. Gird your loins. This fuck-up is the fuck-up of all fuckups. The absurdity is only getting started.

dinthebeast said...

I have to say that after the stolen supreme court seat, McConnell's (as the Rude Pundit put it) very real anguish was delicious.

-Doug in Oakland

steeve said...

Except if democrats get the senate, the absolutely must get rid of the filibuster in the first minute. Republicans blocked 100% of bills last time. They'll block 200% next time.

Jeff said...

Trump. Jeez! It's not your branch of government, Monkey Boy!

tf said...

I love your blog driftglass!
One trend I'm seeing - the terms being used about not being "masculine" or not having "testosterone" or "pansy" sexism back in charge in how leaders are judged?
Is the question - If you lead well you're masculine but if you don't you are a pansy?

Tom Shefchik said...

Don "The Con" had better save some of his GOP political capital. When it comes out in a few months that his crime syndicate has laundered billions in stolen Russian money he will need them to go on TV and say, so what no big deal, anybody would do it. He he will push them to make Russian money laundering legal, if not mandatory.

Randle Aubrey said...

Best. Poem. EVER.

RUKidding said...

45's base simply won't care about DJT laundering money through Russia, or anywhere else. They simply don't care. As long as DJT's kicking Librul butt, 45's base will be utterly satisfied with who they voted for. Laws? Those're for the uppity minorities & the poorz. DJT don't need to mind no stinkin' laws.

The rubes don't know what DJT's doing anyway. They listen to Rush & watch Fox. It's all lies, hype and spin anyway. A remarkably know-nothing group easily wound up to vote R.

That's been my experience.