Thursday, June 01, 2017

George Will Remembers Back When Conservatism Was Cool

Now I don't remember any such Golden Age when it never rained till after sundown, and by eight a.m. the morning fog had flown.

And no one I know does.

And there is no evidence of such to be found in the fossil record.

And while Andrew Sullivan used to make such claims, a veritable army of Persons from Porlock have jolted him so frequently and violently out of his weed-'n-Oakenshott-induced musings that now he basically just bitches about Hillary Clinton.

But George Will apparently remembers a time.  Oh yes he does!  A glorious moment that roughly coincides with the period when the NAACP sued the Boston Red Sox for "following an anti-Negro policy" when Conservatism was awesome.

And by God, he is not going to let America forget it!

From the Washington Post:
Conservatism is soiled by scowling primitives

Today, conservatism is soiled by scowling primitives whose irritable gestures lack mental ingredients. America needs a reminder of conservatism before vulgarians hijacked it, and a hint of how it became susceptible to hijacking...

Don’t let it be forgot
That once there was a spot
For one brief shining moment that was known
As Scam-a-lot.


D. said...

Wasn't the last time conservatism was actually cool 1928-early 1929? (Or, if one takes the long view, 1788.)

Neo Tuxedo said...

America needs a reminder of conservatism before vulgarians hijacked it, and a hint of how it became susceptible to hijacking...

To be exactly as fair as Georgie Porgie deserves, the only word in there that's actually wrong is "became".

Shinji Hirako: How long...?
Sosuke Aizen: An interesting question, but you should already know the answer. The power of my sword, Kyoka Suigetsu, is kanzen saimin -- perfect hypnosis. It can create an illusion by controlling all five senses at once.
Hirako: I know that shit! I'm asking when you started using Kyoka Suigetsu!
Aizen: Let me answer that question with a question: when did you convince yourself there was a time when I wasn't using Kyoka Suigetsu?
-- BLEACH Chapter 392, "The Breaking Glaciers" (published mid-2010 in Weekly Shonen Jump)

The point of that homiletic analogy is, of course, that conservatism was always susceptible to hijacking by vulgarians, even before Reagan fed it those chilled monkey brains that Brother Charles reminds us of, but until the prion disease had spread to the point of actually letting the vulgarians in, and then becoming dependent on Little Red State Fundy, there was time to avert the hijacking. And, if the entire national press corpse had told Georgie Porgie to Take It Somewhere Else Buster after the briefing-book scandal, it might have been averted.

dinthebeast said...

Uh, Atwater? Hanna?

-Doug in Oakland

Peter Janovsky said...

I believe Ted Nugent's band was called the scowling primitives.

Robt said...

Seeing George discouraged from the good old days of a Speaker named Newt is curious. How he looks out and defies the Ronaldus Reganus 11th Commandment is his sad reality of his waning relativity within defending the grail of conservatism.
We see the next conservative generation like Charlie Sykes. Who merely has to briefly say, "we might have gone to far" on the right Now those on the right that he preached to and adhered to his political sermons of despite. Began carrying out his holy war, tore down his church, refuse to listen to him as the right voice of reason. his Pied Piper Pipe no longer played the hippest hype.
All the songs of the KKK, the NAZIs and grooving tunes of the White supremacists he played day after day. No longer stokes the deadened nerves of conscience with his flock.
How the Beatles mania brought in a new eras the old faded away.
As conservatism is basic holding to tradition. That is no longer for George and Sykes.
So I ask,
When the likes of Hannity and Alex Jones finds themselves at the George will and Sykes prefaces of too transitional for conservatism?
-What then comes up from the depths of hell to walk the earth? In the conservative shoes?
As now, there is no need for Biblical scrutiny of the back of necks for 3 upside down sixes to identify the beast.
In this futuristic world, just checking Twitter for someone posting words like, "Covfefe" shall suffice.

Charles Watkins said...

It is a well known fact the Will became deranged during the baseball strike of 1994.

JHB said...

"America needs a reminder of conservatism before vulgarians hijacked it, and a hint of how it became susceptible to hijacking..."

Hmmm... that would be the time conservatives were still ranting cranks on the fringe. No need to hint at how it became susceptible to (so-called) "hijacking", there's a very clear starting point: when you guys set out to eliminate the Rockefeller Republicans. You needed to boost your numbers to do that, so you guys started recruiting the very people you'd sidelined about ten years earlier (but not so hard that they wouldn't vote for your guy).

Once the Rocky Repubs were wrecked, you pointed the same Manichean apparatus at the Democrats. And discovered that axe-grinding is powerfully addictive, wildly hallucinogenic, and very very lucrative for the pushers.

You've had 30 years to do something about it. You Built This.

freshsideofhell said...

My son said as much to me last night,except he was talking about my Democrarts in charge.I did not come back with anything. I listened and kept my mouth shut because I was outnumbered in my own house.Plus the fact I'm going to be a new Grandpa again.I'm wondering if by time she graduates if America will even excists in some way as a free country.How come we can see President Stupid as he is and my own son cannot.