Tuesday, August 09, 2016

Pastor Dave Talks To Today's Kids About Tearing This Fucker Down


On that long ride from his gated community in Bethesda, Maryland to Burning Man 2016, Mr. David Brooks of the New York Times pulls his Newmar King Aire into the Valley of Adversity rest stop's private celebrity entrance ("Our Lattes Are The Foamiest!") to catch a short nap and pen a little missive for today's youth on how much spiritual value they will find in Mr. David Brooks' benevolent oligarchy of permanent austerity if they live a life which is every way exactly the opposite of the life which has been led by Mr. David Brooks of the New York Times:
...
There might be a Great Affluence Fallacy going on — we want privacy in individual instances, but often this makes life generally worse.

Every generation faces the challenge of how to reconcile freedom and community — “On the Road” versus “It’s a Wonderful Life.” But I’m not sure any generation has faced it as acutely as millennials.

In the great American tradition, millennials would like to have their cake and eat it, too. A few years ago, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis came out with a song called “Can’t Hold Us,” which contained the couplet: “We came here to live life like nobody was watching/I got my city right behind me, if I fall, they got me.” In the first line they want complete autonomy; in the second, complete community.

But, of course, you can’t really have both in pure form...
This is what happens when "So, you wanna step into my Newmar King Aire and see my TED Talk on VHS?" fails to tempt the coed out of her pants.

And for those of you who like your Conservative propaganda reduced to bouillon cubes, here's what Pastor Dave is really saying:



 

I.
Can't.
Even.


7 comments:

Dave McCarthy said...

well, those two clips certainly bolster my argument that "That 70's Show" may have been the single unfunniest "sitcom" ever.

Oh wait...I just remembered "CPO Sharkey"

Never mind...

Habitat Vic said...

Every generation faces the challenge of how to reconcile looming poverty and escapist fantasy — “The Grapes of Wrath” versus “The Matrix.” But I’m not sure any generation has screwed over this nation as acutely as we Baby Boomers.

My dyslexia (or maybe hyperbullshititis) is kicking in. Can't even click over to DFB, to geet a taste. Just can't. Time to go out and vote in the WI primary. And flip the bird to the Paul Ryan signs along the way.

trgahan said...

Dear Mr. Brooks,

I understand that your not really talking to "Millennials" but their parents who want an excuse to kick their 6-figure college degree kids out of the basement without acknowledging the economic reality they created that put their kid in that basement. Hard to sell, "You kids need to accept a life less than what you were raised in so your mother and I can maintain a 7% return on our portfolio. I mean, retirement homes on the Outer Banks aren't cheap ya know!"

"Millennials" (ie. privileged, white, college educated 20 to early 30 something off spring of the middle and upper middle class in the throws of learning what "making a living" really means. AKA. Gen-X, Me Generation, etc.) have been lectured about expectations by affluent conservatives with fat rolodex's such as yourself for, well, a millennia. And, like before, the only people nodding along with you have 7 figure trust funds and the rest see right through you.

Sincerely,

A member of the last generation that was supposed to change the world, do it all differently, got lectured by conservatives that we wanted too much for too little, and, like a FoxNews female employee to Roger, are now utterly ignored as we start hitting middle-age.


And each time

RUKidding said...

“We came here to live life like nobody was watching/I got my city right behind me, if I fall, they got me.” In the first line they want complete autonomy; in the second, complete community.

But, of course, you can’t really have both in pure form...

WHUT? WTF is he even talking about? Did DFBs have a heart to heart with Macklemore & Ryan Lewis to determine the grandiloquent intent of their lyrics or something?

I'm an Old and I'm outta the loop in terms of the current music scene, so I really don't know shit. At least I know that. Back in the day, many musicians wrote lyrics that just, uh, sounded good and fit in with the music beat. That said, yes, some song lyrics can carry a bigger intention with a theme, story-line, etc.

I know nothing about this particular song and would never attempt to "interpret it." I think DFBs should do the same, especially by taking a few lyrics and extrapolating to a whole generational gestalt.

Per usual, what a douchebag.

dinthebeast said...

Shorter DFB: See bosses! I wrote about that smelly demographic just like you told me I had to! And guess what? I said they were just exactly as wrong as everyone else who isn't me, only in their own special way that I made up for them! Aren't they gonna be grateful to me for it?

-Doug in Oakland

Andrew Johnston said...

@RUKidding: Yeah, I too would suggest that a song featuring lines like I'm eating at the beat like you gave a little speed to a great white shark on shark week probably isn't the best one to analyze for deeper meaning. In context, the lines that Brooks decides he can use to judge tens of millions of people essentially come down to, "This is a party. I'm partying, are you partying? Then we're all partying!" I'm so glad we have well-paid elite professional to explain the culture to us, it's so complex.

keith gargus said...

Being one of the poorest of the poors, I get ten reads a month from the NYT's. David fucking Brooks will not be one of them.