Wednesday, February 03, 2016

Today In Both Sides Do It: Ron Fournier, The Sad Clown of Centrism

For you latecomers, listen up: this season's Authorized Beltway Electoral Narrative, "Trump-'n-Sanders (an sometimes Cruz)"!  Every season has an Authorized Beltway Electoral Narrative and this one is yours so cherish it.  You have already seen and heard "Trump-n-Sanders" from several of your favorite Beltway celebrities, and I promise you will continue will hear it blaring from every telescreen every day with the regularity and ferocity of Two Minutes Hate.

Trump-'n-Sanders is an easily-digestible variation of the long-established Standard Beltway Both-Siderist Narrative and will continue to be pumped into the body politic intravenously until it no longer serves the interests of the Beltway media, at which point it will abandoned, re-branded and re-marketed as something else.

Take it away, "Trump-'n-Sanders" salesman of the month, Ron Fournier, trying way too hard sound like Moses coming down off Sinai carrying the 10 Commandments instead of the Willie Loman of debased Beltway cliches:
This is where I extinguish the political establishment’s last ray of hope. With these words, I warn career Republicans that their enemy is not Donald Trump or even Ted Cruz, and I remind Clinton Democrats that Bernie Sanders isn’t their gravest threat.

I say to these duo­pol­ists: Beware of angry voters. They’re not going away...
Woe unto thee, oh Israel! See what I mean? Waaaay too hard.
Should Trump and Sanders be denied...

In fact, I’m already hear­ing it in conversations with establishments Democrats and Republicans...
This particular bold assertion is followed by three, unattributed sentence fragments which could have come from the Tom Friedman Magic Cabdriver Quote Generator just as easily as from the Sekrit Insider Beltway Schemer's Club where Ron Fournier is the mint-and-hot-towel men's room attendant apparently.

Mr. Fournier continues:
Trump or Sanders...

Trump or Sanders...

Sanders is a 74-year-old so­cial­ist call­ing for a re­volu­tion. Trump is a 69-year-old billionaire and bully with no co­her­ent or con­sist­ent policies.

Trump and Sanders...

...ap­prov­al rat­ings for the Demo­crat­ic and Re­pub­lic­an parties

Trump and Sanders...

Sanders: “We the people are go­ing to have..."

Trump: “This coun­try is run by losers…"

On the Far Left and Far Right...
But what really takes this laundry list of false Both Siderist parallel construction up a notch is how far Mr. Fournier is willing to go to commit to the bullshit.
[T]here is one thing scar­i­er to me than Trump win­ning the pres­id­ency. It’s Trump los­ing the White House to an es­tab­lish­ment can­did­ate who de­fends the status quo for an­oth­er four years, a feck­less Demo­crat or Re­pub­lic­an who ca­pit­u­lates to the cul­ture of Washing­ton.
Yes, Ron Fournier would prefer President Donald Trump to another four years of President Barack Obama.

Way to die with the lie, Moses.  Way to die with the lie.


WHackwhacker said...

As always, prescient! The Washington Post has a "Trump-'n-Sanders" up this very morning! Entitled "Battle of the Extremes."

Also, Fournier is concerned about someone who "capitulates to the culture of Washington"?1? If he's not the essence of "the culture of Washington," I'm a cheese sandwich.

trgahan said...

Sanders carries the same Original Sin that Obama did. He is making average people care and believe in governance. The people that cut Ron's checks have spent billions beating that out of the citizenry for the last 30+ years. The biggest threat to the Right Wing Oligarchy isn't a Democratic President, but a liberal voter who suddenly gets interested in the local school board elections and starts paying attention to what is happening in the state house.

I live in the blood red state currently leading the wingnut welfare scheme of returning federal land to the states even thought 70 percent of the polled state's populous is against it. The only campaign bumper stickers you seen around here are "Sanders 2016". You can't tell me that has gone unnoticed.

SamB said...

You resisted the temptation to include this link:

Googling "Tom Friedman Magic Cabdrivers Quote Generator" found that.

Unknown said...

Good fucking lord. Ron "Severe Dementia" Fournier is, without a doubt, the least self-aware idiot on the planet, maybe in all of history., I'm at a loss for words, except to say, again, that he is single worst walking example of the braindead yet utterly smug and self-satsified rot that has completely subsumed our national media. The absolute worst.

Kathleen O'Neill said...

To the tune of the Frank Sinatra hit "Love and Marriage"

Trump and Sanders
Trump and Sanders
We must please lackeys
To whom we pander
Tell the Beltway Gentry
The problem is
Both sides are angry.