Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Mr. David Brooks Talks To America's Teens About Mawwiage



In which Mr. David Brooks -- the Impressive Clergyman of the  New York Times -- once again sublimates his post-divorce alimony acrimony into 800 awkward words of sanctimony about matrimony:

Mr. David Brooks of the New York Times:  The way we talk about marriage is polarizing, too. If you read the popular literature, there are three different but not mutually exclusive lenses through which to think about marriage decisions.

Impressive Clergyman from the Princess Bride:  Mawwiage! Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today!

Mr. David Brooks of the New York Times: The psychologists want you to think analytically as well as romantically about whom to marry. Pay attention to traits.

Impressive Clergyman from the Princess Bride:  Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement

Mr. David Brooks of the New York Times: The second lens is the romantic lens. This is the dominant lens in movie and song.

Impressive Clergyman from the Princess Bride: ...that dweam within a dweam.

Mr. David Brooks of the New York Times: The third lens is the moral lens. In this lens a marriage doesn’t exist just to exist or even just for procreation. It exists to serve some higher purpose...

Impressive Clergyman from the Princess Bride: And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah and evah

And finally:
But the moral lens, with its view of marriage as a binding moral project, is less common. Maybe that’s one of the reasons the quality of the average marriage is in decline.
Which I translate roughly as:
You got your goddamn divorce and the goddamn check is in the goddamn mail, so quit riding my ass!


12 comments:

ELSKY said...

He could write for readers digest. Oh yeah too late. Good thing still nyt.

ELSKY said...

Late comic Milt kamen once said he wrote for readers digest. Easy. Just copied an old article and sent it in again. Your nyt David Brooks column.

dinthebeast said...

My friend reading the DFB book has finally gotten far enough in to grasp what a creep he is, so I was ready to dig up some of your archives to support her conclusion, when BAM! here is this post for her amusement and edification...

-Doug in Oakland

Fearguth said...

I'm still trying to figure out how to think through a lens.

Professor Fate said...

Re the quality of marriages : Actually the number of divorces has been declining for quite some time, along with people reporting a higher satisfaction with being married which one would guess comes as folks are older when they get married these days and are more likely to be able do the work of being married in the first place.
Still one has to wonder at the hole that the former Mrs DFB tore out of his hide about the divorce

Unknown said...

PSA to our fearless host - Ron "Severe Dementia" Fournier, Sad Clown of Centrism, is now posting his Column Macro-generated coils of steaming bullshit at the Atlantic. His latest is about how he is conflicted about the Trumpster because while he welcomes "disruption" (HAAAHAHAHA), he can't abide Trump's appeals to fear in so doing.

I left the Atlantic a note pleading with them to save their reputation and their readers' sanity by denying him a visible and prestigious platform for his predictable intellectual dishonesty. So far it has had no effect.

steeve said...

That's the most perfect analogy i've ever seen. So imposing and serious, permanently ensconced in a regal position. Then he talks, and everyone instantly knows he's a dumbass, unable to go beyond the simplest platitude. Yet nobody manages to say so.

Kathleen O'Neill said...

@dinthebeast

Friends don't let friends buy David Brooks' book much less read it. As the kidzzz used to say in The 80's, "Word".

Karen Crosby said...

You have outdone yourself, Driftglass.

Unknown said...

Perfect; in the hands of the truly gifted, only a few words are needed to flush DFB's parade of post-divorce anger.

trgahan said...

Alternative translation:

"Hrm...Republicans are looking particularly stupid this week. Guess it's time for another "morals" column. I know, I'll once again posit the imaginary conservative, intentionally nebulous, version of marriage as "moral" and any other version as "amoral." The Upper East Side Plutocrats will love reading that before sneaking off to bang the nanny."

Mr XD said...

Whoa buddy! Virtual blood and teeth all over my screen-a stunning display of bare-knuckle sarcasm.