Friday, December 25, 2015

Professional Left Podcast #316

"Hey, man, you don't talk to the Santa. You listen to him. The man's enlarged my mind. He's a elf-toymaker in the classic sense. I mean sometimes he'll, uh, well, you'll say hello to him, right? And he'll just walk right by you, and he won't even notice you. 

And suddenly he'll grab you, and he'll throw you on his lap, and he'll say do you know that “ant” is the middle word in Santa? If you can know who has been naughty and who as been nice when all about you are getting shitty toys and socks and blaming it on you…if you can trust your elves when all men doubt you -- I mean I'm no, I can't -- I'm a little elf, I'm a little elf, he's, he's The Claus, man. 

I should have been a bag of remaindered WalMart Barbies being sold out the trunk of an El Dorado on a dead-drunk Sunday Morning on Maxwell Street -- I mean --”
-- driftglass, writer



Miskatonic said...

"May whatever God you believe in, have mercy on your souls." ~ Q ST:TNG


Justice Putnam said...

The horror. The horror...

Lawrence said...

The sclong remains the same? Man In The High Castle season 2: Dick extensions?

jurassicpork said...

The Kindle version of my newest historical thriller, Gods of Our Fathers, just launched on Christmas Eve and you can find it here for just $4.99. I’m not publicizing this on my blog so my stalker from Utah doesn’t buy a copy (then immediately get a refund) just to pre-emptively write a one star hit piece and tell his fanboy trolls to do the same. As he has with every single one of my other titles.