Wednesday, October 14, 2015

The One Who Loathes Hillary Clinton



From The Harvard Lampoon Big Book of College Life, pp. 126-7 (big h/t to Brad DeLong for having this transcribed and available, and to Blue Gal whose memory and sensibilities are without peer):
Pet Peeves: Arbitrarily pick one well-respected poet... and wage a personal vendetta against him. Whenever his work is mentioned, hurl your drink against the wall and scream, "The man's a fraud! A complete fake!" Should anyone have the temerity to challenge your opinion, smile condescendingly and say, "Oh, come on now. You just go back and reread one of his so-called poems. It's obvious!" You can establish a reputation and a cachet in this way. It is better to be known on the cocktail circuit as "the one who loathes Dryden" than as "the one who drinks too much." 
So Andrew Sullivan has been gone from the blogosphere for awhile now.  Retired on his own terms to go to Innisfree and a small cabin there of clay and wattles made, or to reread Graham Chapman's biography in the original Dutch, or to smoke a lot of pot and watch every episode of South Park or whatever.

He left the game to get away from the crazy.

The flaw in that plan is that you can't run away from the crazy when you are the crazy.

To inch a little closer to sanity, maybe what Mr. Sullivan needed most wasn't nine bean rows, a hive for the honey bee, and a life alone in the bee-loud glade but instead a mob of helpful individuals pounding his ass every day in public every time he posted stupid shit, (See "Stupid Shit Andrew Sullivan Says").

Or maybe he needed his blog to let the crazy out slowly, like the helium leaking out of a birthday balloon, rather than explosively, like hydrogen out of the Hindenburg (h/t Karoli at Crooks & Liars):



Or maybe, and most likely, Andrew Sullivan requires an audience but ultimately has nothing left to say that anyone wants to hear. Which is why he is working hard to establish his reputation as the "the one who loathes Hillary" rather than as "that pissy narcissist who needs the limelight." 




5 comments:

Unknown said...

If an innovative scientist could somehow convert Sullivan's Hillary-hate into a form of energy, we would be able to shut down every coal-fired power plant and cease all oil extraction activities by the end of that month. It's truly spectacular, the depth of his loathing.

I predicted all along that if Hillary was the Democratic nominee as expected, he'd find some truly pathetic excuse to endorse the Republican nominee in 2016, no matter how fucking batshit that individual is, or is forced to be by his braindead party's base. Even though Hillary would basically be campaigning for Obama's third term, with some fairly minor deviations. Even though Sullivan had spent several years complaining about the GOP's total abandonment of sanity, which I'm sure he would acknowledge has only gotten worse since he stopped blogging. Just because he hates Hillary that.fucking.much.

Even though he did the entire world a favor and retired from blogging before this campaign really got started, I think I'll still be proven right in that prediction, even if it's just in the form of a 15-second rant on Bill Maher.

Lit3Bolt said...

The projection is strong with Sully. Like David Brooks, his entire career consists of political hatchet jobs, corporate PR, and conservative hagiography. His advocacy for gay marriage in the 90's showed remarkable insight, but only because Andrew Sullivan is an expert on gay men who think like Andrew Sullivan. He then palled around with his Republican friends for the next 2 decades because despite Democrats being the only party remotely for gay rights back then, they also had black people and women and other people Andrew Sullivan considered icky.

It's funny because sometime during these 2 decades, a biker gang of catnip-huffing chopper-riding kittens has tangled Andrew Sullivan's mind into a sword-proof Gordian knot.

Somehow every Republican in those intervening 2 decades of Sullivan's career has been forgiven or ignored for their (continuing) hatred of his existence as a married gay man. These Republicans have also been absolved for their tax cut for the wealthy, the Iraq War of Choice, torture, the crony capitalism, any and all errors, domestic or foreign. Instead, all of the sins of the American Empire can be laid at the feet of just one person.

Hillary Clinton.

The labyrinth logic in Andrew Sullivan's mind is similar to that of Walter in The Big Lebowski. ("Nihilists! Fuck me.") The Republicans were wrong and made tragic mistakes of belief, but at least they BELIEVED. Hillary on the other hand is some mythical demi-Sphinx which is always "arrogant" and "calculating" and "media-proof" yet also somehow "talentless" and "lame" and "weak." She is competently evil enough to be threatening to all we hold dear, yet also pathetic enough to be worthy of endless scorn and derision. More importantly according to Sully, she believes in NOTHING but herself and her unholy lust for power, while Andrew Sullivan at least believes in God Who Always Agrees With Andrew Sullivan.

Whenever Hillary offends Andrew Sullivan, she does it by conscious choice (Agenda Item 1: Piss off Andrew Sullivan), because in his solipsistic Beltway media fantasy Hillary and Bill are always cackling in the Legion of Doom headquarters, plotting to overthrow Andrew Sullivan, David Brooks, and the rest of the Both-Sides-Do-It League. The Republicans, on the other hand, are just some lovable scamps that got too rowdy and have picked some bad candidates, but if some square-jawed he-man of an authoritarian daddy came on the scene (like Putin! SQUEAL) you know Andrew Sullivan would start fanning himself furiously wondering if it's hot in here or just him.

Sullivan helped create the media Clinton Rules. He's lived, eaten, and breathed the Clinton rules for almost 25 years now. Like the rest of the Beltway elite, he's endlessly amused by his own writing and thinking and rarely has time for anything else. Like Narcissist gazing at his own reflection, he believes his political propaganda is the most perfect, and would rather die than have that taken away from him.

Fortunately for us, Clinton fatigue has caused Andrew Sullivan to shut down his blog, or perhaps he knew the blog would be unsustainable in an election year (he always faced huge backlashes when he attacked Clinton). What WE know is Andrew Sullivan can't resist burping up his misogyny, substance-free propaganda, and whinging pleas for relevancy in the face of a successful Clinton campaign. The only thing left to wonder about is whether he'll renounce his U.S. citizenship if she's elected.

mark hargus said...

fuck that guy, fucking sonderkommando

Frank Stone said...

Thanks for the video. It's funny to watch Sully's facial expressions when he's being called on his bullshit. Like a deer in the headlights.

My favorite bit had to be when he invoked argumentum ad populum: "It's true because X number of people say it is!" What a nitwit.

New_Damage said...

This is not particularly relevant to the topic at hand, but it's my understanding that the Hindenburg incinerated itself so quickly not due to the hydrogen (which of course burned rapidly and may very well have been the source of the ignition), but from the doping of the skin of the craft with aluminum and iron oxide. Essentially, Thermite.

Not exactly a Lead Zeppelin, but…