Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Paul Ryan and the Failing Sickness

So the Big City Paper sez that Paul Ryan will agree to take over as House Babysitter if the Shoutycrackers Loony Caucus agree to stop shouting and being loony.
Paul Ryan Says He Would Serve as Speaker if Republicans Unite


WASHINGTON — Representative Paul D. Ryan said for the first time Tuesday that he would be willing to serve as speaker if all factions of House Republicans could unite behind him.

Mr. Ryan addressed his colleagues and called for a change to the way the job is structured, saying the speaker should be more focused on communicating the message of the party and house and less on fundraising according to members in the room. He urged members to not try and change the rules “for one group.”
Unfortunately, whatever other dubious charms Representative Ryan may have, he has never shown any hint of having the equipment necessary to bring knuckleheads to heel.

So good luck with that.

Meanwhile, I sincerely hope that somewhere in the West Wing of the White House,  President Barack Obama is savoring the fact that, with one sentence -- "I look forward to working closely with Representative Ryan in a cooperative and bipartisan way" -- he has the power, if he chooses to exercise it, to utterly demolish the GOP's crooked house of bullshit and dynamite.

Meanwhile, Shakespeare!
CASCA:  Why, there was a crown offered him: and being
offered him, he put it by with the back of his hand,
thus; and then the people fell a-shouting.

BRUTUS: What was the second noise for?

CASCA:  Why, for that too.

CASSIUS: They shouted thrice: what was the last cry for?

CASCA: Why, for that too.

BRUTUS: Was the crown offered him thrice?

CASCA: Ay, marry, was't, and he put it by thrice, every
time gentler than other, and at every putting-by
mine honest neighbours shouted.

CASSIUS: Who offered him the crown?

CASCA: Why, Antony.

BRUTUS: Tell us the manner of it, gentle Casca.

CASCA: I can as well be hanged as tell the manner of it:
it was mere foolery; I did not mark it. I saw Mark
Antony offer him a crown;--yet 'twas not a crown
neither, 'twas one of these coronets;--and, as I told
you, he put it by once: but, for all that, to my
thinking, he would fain have had it. Then he
offered it to him again; then he put it by again:
but, to my thinking, he was very loath to lay his
fingers off it. And then he offered it the third
time; he put it the third time by: and still as he
refused it, the rabblement hooted and clapped their
chapped hands and threw up their sweaty night-caps
and uttered such a deal of stinking breath because
Caesar refused the crown that it had almost choked
Caesar; for he swounded and fell down at it: and
for mine own part, I durst not laugh, for fear of
opening my lips and receiving the bad air.

CASSIUS:  But, soft, I pray you: what, did Caesar swound?

CASCA: He fell down in the market-place, and foamed at
mouth, and was speechless.

BRUTUS: 'Tis very like: he hath the failing sickness...

(Yes, I know that the "failing" or "falling" sickness was epilepsy, but the formation of Shakespeare's sentence here was too perfect to pass up.)


Cirze said...


I'm still chuckling.

Good one.

Falling up, I suppose.


dinthebeast said...

Shorter Ryan: I'll take the job as long as I don't have to, you know, do the job...

-Doug in Oakland

bowtiejack said...

Very nice photoshop. I envy your skills. Really.

And nice catch on the Drudge dregs.

The reason bipartisanship doesn't work with these guys is that Harry Reid tries to help Ryan out and look at the thanks he gets!

Robt said...

You think Trump might advise Paul Ryan to read his "Art of the Deal" before negotiating over the speaker job?
Ryan, Hailed as the "ONLY" one that can Unite that which is not compatible.
IWhat is not to like about Steve {cantalope thighs) King or Louie {Asparagus) Geomert for speaker?
I should thank my lucky Foot Loops that they are not considering offering the speaker ship to Charles Koch.

There is one issue I picked up on that Paul Ryan irked me most of all.

That he does not want to work weekends. He will not take away time from his (ah-hem) time with his family. HE is talking about a two or three day work week.
There is only one speaker, he/she is in the short proximity in line for president. He can't be bothered on weekends for America?
As a veteran, what he appears to be lacking is what an 18 year old serving in Afghanistan displays day after day (no weekends off) Family far away, living with facing all the dangers full-filling his commitment.

While on the sideline,
It is odiously annoying that the cable paparazzi can,
Point to Tea Party extremists as the trouble.
How the moderate republicans are taking over.

When they say "both sides"
Are they assimilating between Tea Potters and the Freedom Cockus.
Let me see, moderate republican in congress?
Tom Cotton, Ted Cruz, Louie Geomert, Trey G(howdy) Gowdy, James Inhofe,?
Or maybe Ex Speaker of the House, Denny Hastert. Who is a legal pioneer.
What do I mean by "legal pioneer"?

Beccause of Denny we are going to find out if a sexual assaulted child victim can blackmail a Speaker of the House of the United States.
with blackmail payments made, does it alleviate the criminal act?

Heal OurCountry said...

Heya DG,

He asked the to cooperate with each other and Drudge calls him "Dem Favorite" and "Obama's New Partner".

Each other.

FOX and the rest of the rabid right media machine has turned cooperation into a dirty word of such vitriol that they scream Ryan's a traitor for asking Republicans to cooperate with other Republicans.

You know what else is cooperation? Driving on the roads. People agree to cooperate in order to not kill each other on the highways. Goodnes knows that the base can no longer cooperate under any circumstances.

So, with a little luck maybe they'll stop cooperating on the roads too and start having head ons with each other.

You were right about so many things and now you've been proved right about this too.

They're no longer functional human beings.

Paul Wartenberg said...

"I will take the job on the condition that the crazies who drove Boehner out promise to shut the f-ck up and let me rule."

Considering that the crazies got empowered because they did just that to Boehner, they are not about to roll over and play dead for another "RINO". These teabaggers are utterly convinced they are the True Believers and have the absolute moral authority to do what they will. They will turn on Ryan the second they see the advantage to do so, and they will remain focused on their objective to destroy the federal government outright.

Remember, the radicals in the House WANT a default on the debt, they WANT to shut down government over Obamacare AND abortion AND Gods know what else. If maintaining this system of chaos in the House fulfills those objectives - and this could - they will keep acting like this.

trgahan said...

Rough translation of Ryan's recent statements:

"I'm making too many valuable career connections and money as chair of the house ways and means committee to bother with actually governing the United States. Much less helping the party a claim to love so much. The Press still thinks I'm the "smart numbers guy" and they still sell my proposed budget is a reasonable approach to funding government in these "tough economic times."

So I'm already playing with house money, no pun intended, as long as the rubes in my gerrymandered district keep re-electing me. Why screw that up?"