Thursday, October 08, 2015

Republicans Fuck Up Another Two-Car Funeral


“When things fall apart, they fall apart fast.” --  Tobias, Fear The Walking Dead
Now that the Republican Party is dead and the Neo-Know-Nothings have taken over, it should come as no surprise that the Party's intellectual elite -- flatworms whose claim on power consists of being knee-walking drunk enough on cherry-picked scripture, Alex Jones and Randite poteen to appeal to the Great Wad of cow-dumb bigots who make up the Party base -- cannot hold their shit together long enough to arrange their own funeral.

From the New York Times:
Kevin McCarthy Drops Out of House Speaker Race

By JENNIFER STEINHAUER and DAVID M. HERSZENHORNOCT. 8, 2015

WASHINGTON — Representative Kevin McCarthy on Thursday abruptly took himself out of the race to succeed John A. Boehner as House speaker, apparently undone by the same forces that drove Mr. Boehner to resign.

“I have the deepest respect and regard for each member of the conference and our team as a whole,” Mr. McCarthy said in a prepared statement shortly after a meeting in which he told Republicans of his decision. “It is imperative for us to unite and work together on the challenges facing our country.

“Over the last week it has become clear to me that our conference is deeply divided and needs to unite behind one leader. I have always put this conference ahead of myself. Therefore I am withdrawing my candidacy for speaker of the House. I look forward to working alongside my colleagues to help move our conference’s agenda and our country forward.”

Mr. McCarthy’s candidacy was damaged when he suggested in an interview on Fox News last week that the House committee investigating Benghazi had the political aim of damaging Hillary Rodham Clinton’s presidential campaign. He acknowledged that his remarks about Benghazi had factored into his decision.

As shocked members left the meeting there was a sense of total disarray, with no clear path forward and no set date for a new vote. Representative Peter King, Republican of New York, said that in dropping out of race, Mr. McCarthy said, “I’m not the one to unify the party.”
...
While Conservatism's masters of 12-Dimensional Derp ponder the dimensions of the abyss of dumbfuck into which they have flung themselves, I have only two questions:

  1. How loudly will Fox News/Hate Radio play up the boilerplate bullshit -- "The Liberals Media engineered the public lynching of this good Christian man!" -- the roll out for such occasions?  I would guess about six of seven.
  2. What shiny, Dirty Hippy-shaped object will the Beltway press now deploy to continue the pretense that this problem is shared equally by Both Sides?  My guess is, since this is an "All Hands On Deck" Both Siderist emergency, we can expect the David Brookses, Ron Fourniers and Mark Halperins to be called out to work double shifts on the Sunday Gasbag Cavalcade.
At this moment it looks distinctly possible that the Neo-Know-Nothings could install some stiff pulled at random from the queue outside the House men's room as second in line to the White House because he has good hair, hasn't pissed off Rush Limbaugh and hasn't been caught fucking the babysitter recently.  

9 comments:

trgahan said...

Per question 2:

The Both Siders just have to say “We all know Senator Obama/Senator Hillary/Speaker Pelosi did things for political reasons when they were in congress too.” No further elaboration, supporting evidence, or equivalency analysis needed.

Unknown said...

Ron "Severe Dementia" Fournier will pull up his well-worn "Obama can't lead" article template on his laptop and plug in McCarthy's name and "Freedom Caucus" where needed. Then he'll go back to playing dumb about his mendacity on Twitter in between Morning Joke appearances.

dinthebeast said...

...Aaaand since he is "a good Christian man", here come the accusations of marital infidelity.

-Doug in Oakland

bowtiejack said...

It seems there may be an affair going on between Kevin McCarthy and NC Congresswoman Renee Ellmers that has muddied the waters.
The interesting thing is that Gotnews.com, who broke the story and got a “cease and desist letter” from Ellmers’ lawyer: (1) stands by their story and (2) says the National Inquirer, Hustler magazine and the NY Times have all contacted them about working on the same story. And meanwhile, NC Congressman Walter Jones sent out a letter saying anyone with moral issues should withdraw from the Speaker’s race.

keith gargus said...

Reality. Nobody in Hollywood could write this script, much less get it green lighted.

Paul Wartenberg said...

Keith, if we all get out of this alive, I guarantee you someone will turn this into a wacky comedy starring Adam Sandler as his comeback vehicle.

bluicebank said...

Re the GOP:

"We're not laughing at you. We're laughing near you." -- Robin Williams

Unknown said...

Ok, I'm gonna go out on a limb here. This is as much a shank at Jeb!? as it is McCarthy. Cheney shouts out support, and then Jones outs McCarthy? Cheney = Bush. Caucus says screw you, Jeb?! We're ALL running next year, not just you.

Yeah yeah yeah....as well as Benghazi-Elmers, I know. The funny thing is the Jones letter is very much a Bush family style tactic. Gotta it hand to the new-era ratfuckers, they play the classics as if they never went out of style.

Robt said...

Have the republicans tried prayer?

The awful smell of the cable networks reporting that those wascally TEA Party republicans are putting hair pins into the machinery, and we are aware of those results.
"The Freedom Caucus" is too ideological.

The republican Patriots" demand their way.

The "Moderate republicans" want someone to govern.

The "main stream conservatives" need to show leadership in their audition for their job with the mighty defense contractors.

The republicans have been able to identify what they are against. Point out and blame those they hate and perceive as their enemies.

They do have difficulty with doing something constructive......

Not to forget that with the recent McCarthy revelation of the Republican Benghazi Campaign Committee, They found time between naming Post Office Buildings to open an investigation committee on Planned Parenthood.

It was my thought that the likes of the Donald, Carson and Carly as front runners was that the right were jealous of the Dems who elected Obama.
They are trying to flatter liberals with the attempt to emulate.
They feel Trump and the other 2 are outsiders as they view Obama was.
The GOP does not want their establishment but cannot function without them.

The factions need each other to blame. To poster further on the right of to be idolized as the true zealot conservative.

Wallowing in disdain for others, hate, anger, Give-me-tarianism, Being the "true Christian" means everyone else is something less clean, less worthy.

Even as a agnostic leaning atheist, I can find agreement and respect for the Pope. The right wingers commit blasphemy and wipe their rears with the 9th commandment.

part of what I see is the Corporate influence through Citizens United. This is what folks like Charles and Daivd Koch has been spending and working on for some time. They have most of what they aimed for and the immaculate oligarchy conception brings you to dictatorial rule. Sounds conspiratorial, maybe.
But it is a distraction sucking air from every room but the republican area.
I mean, we do have military folks in Afghanistan and who would know?