No news this weekend because, as you know, the networks do not produce "news" anymore but instead offer the public a dramatically less expensive, processed entertainment product made from words, hippie punching, emulsifiers and various news by-products, engineered to spread evenly across all issues and be as inoffensively digestible as possible to the maximum number of customers possible.
Which is why, if I were an alien skipping past on my way to Tau Ceti and I happened to catch, say, Kathleen Parker back on, say, "Meet the Press" making patently ridiculous word-noises with her mouth hole --
-- I might be tempted to tuned long enough to see when exactly network security would be drag her off the set (h/t Heather at Crooks and Liars):
PARKER: Well look, President Bush over... when he was president and had to go to war under the circumstances we all believed in at the time, he put in place a lot of tools, the Homeland Security, you know, the Patriot Act, all that as well as the authorization. And he told me once during an interview, he said you know, I did the very difficult things that were very unpopular, but the next president is going to be grateful because he's going to need them.
And I think President Obama is in that situation right now where he does see, I mean, the ball is in his court and he feels that he has to do something, and yet he would be in a lose lose situation no matter what he does, because if he doesn't do anything, people say he's a coward and not leading. If he does something it's the wrong thing.
Because surely a country which impeaches Presidents for blowjobs values truth so highly that no such twaddle would be tolerated on the public airwaves.
Of course, what an interstellar vagabond could not possibly know unless it stuck around for at least one American election cycle is that they were not watching the news, but instead visually consuming zero-nutritional-content ideological comfort food for the Acela corridor crowd.
Which Mr. Parker herself explained less than a week ago to anyone who was listening.