Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Dear Conservatives

As you lurch wildly back and forth between fetishistic obsession with overwhelming firepower and ominous yawping about "Second Amendment remedies" every time anyone from the gummint looks at you funny ...and a smirking certainty that any unarmed black kid in America who is gunned down by any cop or wannabe cop somehow "had it coming"...I know how reeeeeeally hard your have been trying to forget all about those overtly seditious and deeply deranged mash notes you wrote during your torrid three-way with Sean Hannity and Klavern Bundy last Spring.

But we didn't forget.

In fact, the minute you bring up "Ferguson" at Thanksgiving, expect to hear us repeat -- over and over again, very loudly -- "Cliven Bundy".

Cliven Bundy.

Cliven Bundy.

Where was all you hatred of moochers when the moocher was Cliven Bundy?

Where was all your "If you act in any way that any cop or wannabe cop might interpret as in any way disrespectful or intimidating  -- even if you're unarmed -- you deserve what you get!" moralizing it was Cliven Bundy and his merry band of armed bigots?

We don't expect and answer, any more than we have ever really expected you to answer any of the other hundreds of deeply embarrassing questions stemming from all those bedrock moral beliefs you pretended to have under Clinton...which you then summarily jettisoned under Bush...and then miraculously rediscovered under Obama.  

And frankly, we'd all really rather just spend a peaceful holiday sharing stories and memories of family and friends, both here and gone. 

But if you insist on going there, expect us to make you regret it.


Robt said...

Can we just ponder what "excessive force" means, exactly?

If there is anything I might bring up on this Holiday. It more likely will be,


A day we remember in tradition for the blessings and socialistic help that Native Americans provided to the illegal immigrants of the day that they would not starve the winter.

More advice,
decry GOP's Benghazi report
and the big spending from
republicans from the House
GOP SLUSH fund for the now
impotent Benghazi Select
Committee. Spending wildly
your tax dollars during a
sequestration to save money.
Have Rush Limbaugh send Sen Lindsey Graham a Benghazi update, pronto...

Anonymous said...

The only "controversy" at my families Thanksgiving while be her and her boyfriend screaming at everyone for the evil things we all did to the Native Americans, mass animal cruelty, and other bullshit.

And of course they will ignore the fact that my family came here after WW2 fleeing Nazi death camps and the turkey was raised free range. Because it's more fun to throw a hissy fit without facts.

But that's how family fits go here in Washington DC. The worst conservative bickering will be about the lack of tax and entitlement reform... and that will come from solid Democrats.

Both sides do ruin Thanksgivings.

Anonymous said...

I plan on asking everyone a similar but more specific related question about how today we are expected to defer to The Cop On the Beat, who deals with dangers and makes split-second decisions we will never understand, while next week a white guy will shoot up a grade school and we will all be informed that the police unions and chiefs' associations who back gun control don't understand the real issues involved.

Batocchio said...

Silly! When conservatives say "freedom," they really mean privilege! IOKAYAR! (Plua, Cliven Bundy doesn't like black people, so the Fox News position is entirely consistent.)

Anonymous said...

Also seems to be a valid accompaniment to this topic of conversation.

Green Eagle said...

"...expect us to make you regret it."

Fat chance, but give it a try. They've never yet regretted a single piggish action they've ever taken, including causing two depressions. I doubt that they are going to start now.