Looks like Mr. Brooks let one of the interns write his column today.
Looks like that intern got very drunk first.
Fake Putin Diary!Oh dear Lord. Please. Pleeeease don't try to be funny.
I am surrounded by idiots. I create the greatest Olympics in human history. The Russian team I selected wins the medal count. I do all this while propping up Assad in Syria and sexting half the athletes in the Olympic Village. Meanwhile, that tool Yanukovych can’t even manage to keep himself in power in Kiev...Oh Sweet Break-Dancing Baba Yaga, please make this stop.
And if you can't make it stop, please make sure this poor man doesn't suddenly break Yiddish in the middle of what is supposed to be Putin's Inside Supervillain Voice:
That yutz has created two giant vulnerabilities for me, a regional one and a domestic one...Hello Jackie Masonovitch!
It just gets worse after that.
And then still worse.
Then much worse, building into a kind of wild, blazing pileup of aching unfunniness, stranding onlookers on the shoulder, incredulous, praying for it to be over --
-- holding out a little hope that, just maybe, the serial, JiffyPop shee-BLAMS of awful will calm down, and, just maybe, Mr. Brooks will limp this column over into the breakdown lane of his more quotidian forms of bad writing.
Suddenly, I find myself in a moment of extreme vulnerability. Fortunately, I’ve got one of the greatest leaders in human history on my side: myself.
And so rolls on this amazingly inept...whatever the Hell this is: gobbets of interior-monologue villainy so cartoonish it virtual Bwahahahas!!! --
The naïve Westerners (forgive the redundancy) think Ukraine is about democratic ideals, or whether the country will turn West or East. Please. There is no room for ideals in my worldview.
-- while twirling a yard-long mustache and menacingly stroking a devil-cat --
-- until all anyone can hear is...