Ian Bayne is running for Congress in Illinois' 11th district.
To jump you right into the World According to Ian Bayne, his website greets you with the revelation that "Duck Dynasty Star is Rosa Parks of Our Generation".
Illinois' 11th district looks like this --
-- and is currently being very ably represented by Democrat Bill Foster.
In case you don't have time to paw through Ian Bayne's entire ad (which consists of short clips of Ian Bayne talking about stuff about which you have no idea, interspersed with stock images and footage of various people and things flashing past at near-subliminal speed) here is what you will be missing --
- Stock footage of a prototype navy jet.
- Trading pits!
- Boot camp!
- Ian Bayne sayin' stuff.
- Stock footage of the Kenyan Usurper apparently Applauding Tyranny!
- Over 50% of America is unemployed!
- Grainy terrorists...
- Blaming Murricans!
- "...Lies!" voiced-over a picture of the Kenyan Usurper.
- Ian Bayne...sayin' more stuff.
- An "Americans for Prosperity" fake grassroots sign
- A hand-lettered "Dictator Obama!" sign (Apparently "He is the DEVIL himself!")
- Bill Foster's congressional office.
- Ian Bayne is still talking...
- Random clip of Ronald Reagan from "What's My Line?"
- Martin Luther King!
- Monster Trucks!
- Giant Cigars!
- Smoking a cigar while listening to folk music!
- Gunz! Oh yeah!
- Stock footage of Democrats apparently applauding the "Petty Tyrants in Washington D.C.!"
- Freedumbz! Along with stock footage of the Wright Brothers.
- Capitalists! Ford. Apple. Subway. Coors?
- The office of the Eeeevil SEC!
- The office of the Eeeevil Social Security Administration.
- "I'm running for Congress" voiced-over a stock Getty Images photo of the US Treasury building from 2004 for some reason.
Ian Bayne: That idiot at the bar who just won't shut up.