Friday, August 30, 2013

The Loyal Opposition Is Heard From

As I made my way around this sweltering town, dodging heat-maddened pharmacists and spontaneously combusting bank tellers, I happened to tune in to today's radio broadcast from the de facto leader of the American Conservative movement and kingmaker-number-one of the Republican Party, Mr. Rush Limbaugh.  In this town, he is on two different, strong AM stations at the same time (unlike people like Thom Hartmann and Stephanie Miller, who are on zero station here ever) so cruising up and down the dial, he is hard to miss.

Anyway, as as luck would have it, this happened just before President Barack Obama's short address on Syria was to take place, so I got to hear exactly what America's single most influential Conservative was telling his vast audience about this bloody, miserable, screwed up situation.  In no particular order, Boss Rush informed his audience:

  • That the president's remarks were taped because, silly, ignorant darkie that he was, his people were worried that without a TelePrompTer he would mess it all up.
  • That reports from Syria are from US and UK intelligence services, but none of those people can be believed, because of Liberal whiiiiiining that "Bush liiiiied.  Cheney liiiiied." during the Iraq war.  Or something.
  • That Obama is probably mad at Assad because "Assad denied mortgages to minorities".
  • None of this matters anyway, because everyone knows the Muslim Brotherhood secretly runs the Obama Administration.  

If you want to have an open, family discussion about our nation's problems (and I do), be prepared for the fact that nearly half of the people who will be showing up believe that Rush Limbaugh shits ingots of solid gold truth.

If you want to overthrow the two-party duopoly, be prepared for the fact that during the interregnum between the time you take down the weak, Wiemar Democrats and the time the third party of your dreams arrives cavalry-like mounted on Freedom Unicorns, you'll get find out what it means to live in a country where Rush Limbaugh is considered a moderate.  


Horace Boothroyd II said...

I shat ingots of solid gold hilarity over this one. Thanks for the morale boost in these dark days.

PS. I believe it's Weimar Democrats who the Kossacks dream of taking down to inaugurate the Millenium.

n1ck said...

But DG...

Greenwald, Manning, and Snowden are in charge of the Freedom Unicorn stables, which is what makes you a fascist octopus Drone-loving mouthpiece of the Permagov!

Anonymous said...

I forgot where I heard it...maybe jimmy dore, but he said pretty much the same thing. 'While we allow the election of tea publicans by supporting 3rd party candidates, enjoy watching minority voters disenfranchised, women vaginally probed, and school teachers fired. If this is a price you are willing to pay, congratulations on your white,male privilege.' I'm paraphrasing, but is is a very sad truth.

steeve said...

And if you want to take down the duopoly, here's a wild idea. How about first destroying one party, then the other? We can start with the insane party.

JerryB said...

That's why I have no confidence in our ability to resolve the problems we face. As long as the Rush Limbaughs of the world are out there stirring sand into our water glasses we will never see through to the other side.