Thursday, February 14, 2013

The Legacy of Benedict XVI



How about his first foray into Teh Email? (From April 2005):
Do NOT give this man your credit card number.
And no, he has no sexy younger sister in a prison in Spain. Posted by Hello

I saw this...

Pope Benedict XVI Gets E-Mail Address
By Associated PressPublished April 21, 2005, 8:44 AM CDT
"Got a prayer or a problem for the new pope? Now you can e-mail him. Showing that Pope Benedict XVI intends to follow in the footsteps of John Paul II's multimedia ministry, the Vatican on Thursday modified its Web site so that users who click on an icon on the home page automatically activate an e-mail composer with his address. In English, the address is In Italian:
Vatican spokesmen could not immediately be reached for comment on how many messages Benedict may have received already... "
So how in the name of all that is Holy could I have possibly stopped myself from writing this:

FROM: Pope Benedict XVI

My name is Pope Benedict XVI, head of a Major Religion
as well as head of a Task Force on Priest Pedophilia Clean-up.
As you might have read, late last Century there was a major
outbreak of Priest Pedophilia in the United States Region of
North America which rendered over 70% of our Dogma ludicrous.
The cleanup/cover-up was handled by a Vatican Firm but because
of the huge monetary amounts involved we decided to
over-invoice the contract sum.

Now the cover-up has been completed and the original
contractor has since been paid, but the contract
balance of US$38 million, which resulted from the over
invoiced contract sum that has been left in a suspense
account with the BANCO AMBROSIANO of ITALY, is
what me and my partners are planning to take out of the
coffers for ourselves. The problem is as Princes of the Church,
we are not suppose to own fat bank accounts, much less talk of
having foreign ones.

To this end, we are soliciting your assistance as a
foreign partner who can assist us and receive this
amount into your account. We are ready to share this
money with you on the basis of participation. We also
have plans to invest part of this money in any viable
business in your country under your care, as although we
are only recently installed, we are nonetheless also
nearing our retirement age.

In any case, I got your contact through network on
line hence decided to write you if you can assist us on
this transaction. Please if you accept my proposal do
not hesitate to send me an e-mail on:, so that I can provide you
with the basic procedures for the release of the fund.

It does not matter whether you or your company does
Pedophilic Cover-ups of the nature described here, the
assumption is that you won a major contract and
subcontracted it to another company, more often than
not, big trading companies or individuals of unrelated
field win major contracts here in ITALY and
subcontracts same to more specialized firms for execution.

BENEFIT: For providing the account where we shall
remit this money, you will be entitled to 25% of the
entire funds, 70% will be for me and my partners, while
5% has been set aside to cover any expenses that may
be incurred by both parties during this transaction,
both local and international.

Please I enjoin you to handle this transaction with
utmost degree of maturity and confidentiality because,
although Infallable on matters of Doctine, I am still liable
for Administrative matters as head of the Church of Christ.
If I receive your response on time, this whole transaction
could be accomplished within the shortest possible
time based on your interest and determination, since
the money is already in transit.

Please, if you are capable and willing to participate in
this transaction, don`t forget to reach me with my e-mail
address soonest. Alternatively Feel free to call me on my
private telephone line at the VATICAN OFFICE OF SPECIAL
INQUIRY soon as you received this mail.
The lines may be busy, but keep trying till you get through.

Yours Infallably,

Benedict XVI (Papal Nuncio).


Yastreblyansky said...

Classic! Thanks for running it for those of use who missed it last time.

Lawrence said...

Love the Ruby Slippers. "There's no place like Rome. There's no place like Rome..."