Wednesday, December 14, 2011

A Permanent Republican Vulgarity

The GOP is on the brink of nominating the Grand Nagus of the Ferengrich Alliance as its standard-bearer and spiritual leader.

He is the fulfillment of every one of Modern Conservatism's loudly averred fantasies and aspirations.

Or, as Mr. Wolcott tries to gently croon into the tiny, furry ears of a herd of Gadarene Swine who stopped listening decades ago:
Newt’s shoestring Lazarus resurrection in the polls is a testament to perseverance and ingenuity--to the Power of Gall--but it’s also an indictment of the wet-cardboard strength of the rest of the Republican field. Here they have a clean shot to take the White House in 2012 and they troop out this Gong Show* cast of contestants, most of whom couldn’t find their ass on a map and speak entirely in re-masticated phrases and sentiments tossed into their mouths by Rush Limbaugh, Grover Norquist, and Frank Luntz for years. The Republican field reflects the weak-minded, strong-willed prejudices of its base, hooked up to Fox News as if it were an IV drip. So when rightwing bloggers complain about the candidates, they need someone to skywrite for them, “If they suck, it’s because YOU suck. You’re the guys who believed once upon a fairy tale that Fred Thompson was a political steamroller and that Herman Cain was a fresh breeze.”


Anonymous said...

Great Wolcott quote. "Gong Show" is exactly right.

Here’s a great set of quotes from establishment wingnuts dissing Newt (NYer, via good ol’ Sandy U. at

Huge concensus: ‘unstable’, ‘temperamentally unsuitable’
My favorite: ‘untidy’

(psst: He doesn’t wash his hands after, you know.... Pass it on. ;-)


Soooo…, what do y’all progressives think? Who would you 'like' to see get the repiglican nod?

* The creepy robot might win. (Eewww.)

* They say the slimy newt wouldn’t have a chance, but even the thought of his getting so close really gives me the shivers. (And after all, Duhbya was ‘reelected’.)

Any votes?

blader said...

who honestly gives a fuck which one 'gets the nod'?

jim said...

Well, if the jackboot fits ...

WV = distric ... as in, "I don't think distric is gonna work again dis time, boss!"

Grey Matter Splatter said...

I did have this small fantasy of Bachmann getting the nod just to watch Pres. Obama crush her in the debates and then go all Dan Akroyd on her and say "Jane you ignorant slut" ala Weekend Update's Point / Counterpoint