David Brooks Goes Mad

After his years of well-documented public Centrism intoxication and infamous "Broder binges" during which he was known to go without solid food or solid facts for weeks on end, beloved children's entertainer and star of the popular Bravo Network cooking show "Vanilla XTRAX" -- David Brooks -- has reportedly succumbed to what neuropunditologist are referring to as "Equidistant Delirium Tremens" or "EDTs": a severe neurological disorder brought on by chronic and long-term Centrism addiction and characterized by the acute and overwhelming certainty that every object in the visible Universe is exactly the same distance from the tip of one's nose as every other object.

The unmistakable symptom of the onset of full-blown EDTs is a sudden, manic flurry of confused and contradictory Centrist sock-puppet writing:

Mr. Hamilton and Mr. Burke

By DAVID BROOKS
Published: January 27, 2011

Every Thursday my gurus, Mr. Burke and Mr. Hamilton, get together at the Heavenly Rest to drink and talk politics. Mr. Burke prefers a whiskey and water, while Mr. Hamilton likes a good strong Sex on the Beach. This week, they ended up talking about President Obama.

Burke: I congratulate you. Your president is most prudent and wise. He has decided to focus on three things: education reform, infrastructure investment and scientific innovation. He’s not wasting money on desperate schemes to pump up the employment rate before the next elections.
...

Hamilton: You’re mad, Burke! Obama has completely misread the national situation. The United States is careening toward disaster. The deficit this year is the highest in history: $1.48 trillion.
...

Burke: My dear sir. He’s an officeholder, not a think-tank Johnny. I know intellectuals are perpetually exercised by the crisis du jour, but the current deficits are not really that big. A tad more revenue and a normal bit of spending restraint will take care of them.
...

Hamilton: You vastly underestimate the structural problems leading to slowing growth rates, higher unemployment and higher inequality. I advise you to read Tyler Cowen’s new e-book, “The Great Stagnation”
...

followed by withdrawal into a nearly cataleptic state.

Mr. Brooks is said to resting comfortably.

All of us here at the driftglass blog wish him a speedy recovery.