And Then What?

Scientists Reveal Conservative "Plan B"

If you're like me, and have listened for more than four consecutive minutes of any Hate Media broadcast in the last 20 years, you've often wondered, "OK, so after the Pig People's dearest wishes come true, then what?"

After they've crushed the average citizen into an economic caste system where health and education will be forever beyond their reach, then what?

After they've dumbed down and deregulated the United States into a feudalist pesthole of lawless oligarchs and Costco greeters

then what?

After they've sold our children's futures to China, then what?

After they've turned our military over to Exxon outright, then what?

After they've slagged the planet, then what?


Sure, for the militia nuts and keyboard chickenhawks who see a Mad Max future as their last, best hope of getting laid outside of paying crack whores for handjobs, a broke, ignorant, terrified, starving, nuclear-armed, Limbaugh-ruled Confederacy is fucking Candyland.

And for the Christopaths who look at the possibility of global slaughter and catastrophe as the engraved invitations the Prince of Peace has been waiting for to kick off the Rapture, Armageddon is just God's kooky little coming attractions reel before the real movie starts.

But when you factor out the racists, the gun nuts, the Randites, the homophobes and the theocrats, you still are left with those 20 or 30 Conservatives for whom you would think the end of the world would seem like, y'know, a bad idea.

Turns out, they have an exit strategy too (from Yahoo News):

Scientists discover Earth-like, water-rich planet: study

PARIS (AFP) – Astronomers have discovered a new Earth-like planet that is larger than our own and may be more than half covered with water, according to a study published Wednesday in the science journal Nature.

The so-called "super Earth" is about 42 light years away in another solar system and has a radius nearly 2.7 times larger than that of our planet, according to the study by the Harvard-Smithsonian Centre for Astrophysics.

The discovery of the planet, called GJ 1214b, represents a "major step forward" in the search for worlds similar to the Earth, added the University of California's Geoffrey Marcy in a commentary also in Nature.

The "newfound world" is too hot to sustain life as we know it, said the Harvard-Smithsonian Centre for Astrophysics in a statement.
...

The upside: Everybody in the business knows that "too hot to sustain life as we know it" is just interstellar real estate code for "Gated white community/ golf course accessible". So boo-ya!

The downside: While 42 light years away may sound almost shout-across-the-alley close, when you run the numbers you quickly realize that comes to just under 240,943,549,794,202 miles. And at those distances, the price of daily home delivery of the Wall Street Journal approaches infinity.