Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Kristol Out on his Ass?


Change I can believe in.

If true, I would have to rate these six words as the happiest to be published by the New York Times as a result their own actions in the last year:
"This is William Kristol’s last column."


Of course, based on the Law of the Conservation of Villager Idiocy, I assume he has been let go to, oh, say, boss PBS, or take over as editor-in-chief at the L.A. Times, or run Citibank, or work part-time as the $175,0000/month rebranding manager for the Palin/Plumber '12 exploratory committee.

But for the next little bit I can dream that a just Universe has laced up its kicking shoes and finally, finally, finally punted this smirking, bestial, blood-soaked hack into the ranks of the unemployed and that the next we'll hear of him will be a mention in the Walton Family house organ as "Greeter of the Month" at the Sadr City WalMart.

By the way, one anagram for "Kristol's last column" is

"A troll mocks, insults"

Another is:
"Mass Kill Lust Con Rot"

But then, you already knew that.

28 comments:

spocko said...

Gosh that would be swell!

Ali said...

Well, that cheers me up no end. :)

darkblack said...

'...That would be a service to our country.

This is William Kristol’s last column.'


That's a juxtaposition we can believe in, my friends.

;>)

Myrtle June said...

WOW... really? That's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious..... or something close to that.

Gah. Please let him forever rot in the hell he helped create. Rot mfer, rot.

jurassicpork said...

My last Assclowns feature made them fire him before I even had a chance to post it. I knew it! Huzza, power to the pen!

(Hey, I can dream, right?)

jurassicpork said...

(Btw, this is what I'd left at the NY Times for a comment:)

"Billy, for the year you've been writing for the Gray Lady, you have proven to be the anti-prophet. In order for one to look like a prognosticator, all one need do is religiously read your screeds both here and at that right wing rag... then say the opposite. Don't let the door hit your lying ass on the way out."

Not clever, I admit, but I'm still on my first cup o' joe.

WereBear said...

Oh, no! Who will be our guide to absolutely the wrong thing to do?

Ah well, there are more wingnuts. In any core sample, they will point Due Wrong.

While I'm thrilled to see the shift in attitudes among the Punditry, (Chris Matthews is ranting about Cheney and torture, I suppose better late than never) it is a sad lesson that, in the end, they are weathervanes; no more use than a wet finger held out the window.

And, jurassicpork, I loved this assclowns edition.

Rehctaw said...

He needed more time to delve and ruinate in the PNAC bunker. Now that his grackle have a little free time, there are details he must overlord.

Idle hands... When you're the Devil himself or a member of the D.C. elite (Devil's Cabinet)(Or the brains of the outfit) there's much mischief in need of hands-on management.

Time for us to get on that Go-Pnac email list.

Blader said...

Looks like he didn't want to use his last column to break his record string of particularly awful and pointless columns.

What a fucking dim-witted hack!

Blue Gal said...

I don't think he knew when he wrote the column that he would be leaving, ahem. Reads that way.

damaged goods said...

and how hilarious a self-parody his triumphalistic victory-lapping farewell was. then again, all his stuff is a self-parody.

i may have told this before: i was once alone in an elevator with kristol for 15 long floors. it was all i could do not to throttle the short, stout, chronically red-faced watb who so clearly had been bullied in a grade-school yard and has spent the rest of his life taking it out on all of us.

what a gift -- his departure -- this morning brought.

kane said...

It's about time. It's funny how little notice of it there was. I read Kristol every Monday just to see how wrong he is and I was surprised (in a good way) to see that he was leaving today.

karen marie said...

since it's his last column, i clicked through and read it.

boy, am i sorry i bothered.

but i understand better why kristol likes palin so much. they communicate in "word salad."

karen marie said...

since it's his last column, i clicked through and read it.

boy, am i sorry i bothered.

but i understand better why kristol likes palin so much. they communicate in "word salad."

Batocchio said...

Good anagrams. But yes, Kristol will continue to inflict his blithe, violent mediocrity somewhere.

Anonymous said...

Bill's silly look-back at history was pretty wack, but those lovely final words made the read-through worth it. -- Sparkle Plenty
.

Dusty said...

"Greeter of the Month" at the Sadr City WalMart ~ I would be ecstatic if this opinion came to fruition.

Blue Gal said...

He's off to do a monthly column at the "Neocon Remainder bin", aka WaPo, according to Scott Horton. Also, Scott says he was let go of NYT because his writing sucked. Wow.

They should definitely hire you, DG. High quality at a reasonable price!

jurassicpork said...

Oh, no! Who will be our guide to absolutely the wrong thing to do? - The Watcher backwards

Well, gee, I dunno, the pickin's are slim, aren't they? Lesse, there's Dick Morris, Friedman, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Hannity, O'Reilly, Limbaugh...

Like I said, slim pickin's...

iyedo said...

KristolNOT! Brown shirts revenge.

darkblack said...

'Also, Scott says he was let go of NYT because his writing sucked. Wow.'

Gosh, you'd think he would have been kind enough to send some examples along to the NYT HR folks before they pulled the trigger on the hire...After all, their judicious study of the discernable writing craft is legendarious.

;>)

Rehctaw said...

2:05 PM
Blogger jurassicpork said...

Oh, no! Who will be our guide to absolutely the wrong thing to do? - The Watcher backwards

Nope JP, that were the Were Bear.

Well, gee, I dunno, the pickin's are slim, aren't they? Lesse, there's Dick Morris, Friedman, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Hannity, O'Reilly, Limbaugh...

Like I said, slim pickin's...


Vultures are circling. While the assclowns you listed are indeed 180° from correct 100% of the time, they do not sit at the head of the table in the PNAC bunker.
"Fixing the glitch" ala Office Space would rectify most of the glitches in relatively short order.

Kristol in remission? His last re-mission didn't work out so good when put into action.

WTB Kristol is perhaps the most dangerous scumbag breathing today.

Tengrain said...

I see why you are the best blogger.

Masterfully done, sir.

Regards,

Tengrain

Myrtle June said...

Blue Gal 10:51.... Exactly. I just clicked over and scanned it and he sure didn't write that knowing it was his last. Canned. He was canned..... even BETTAH!!! :lol:

Whoever hired him should be canned as well. Whoever, day after day, let this "man" spew forth in any medium should be canned and..... well, worse.

larue said...

We're all gonna die, better that Kristol dies before most of us, one way or the other.

And takes the 23% with him.

Like Blago, these people are not news. Only fodder for our discontent.

We need to keep our eye, on the ball that is the new leadership, and Congress. And move them to our needs.

Life is simple, don't fuck it up.

Harumph.

Distributorcap said...

kristol is as bad a shitty a human as you can get (tho he does have a lot of competition from his bretheren on the right)

he is wrong 99.9% of the time - but likes to have us think he is cool.

i hope this pissyant turdface -- well you know what i mean

Mauigirl said...

I was thrilled to see the postscript saying it was his last column. I hope they have more sense when they pick the new op-ed contributor.

Suzan said...

You're up, Dg!

Gotten the call yet?

How could they not pick you?

I guess we could start a write-in campaign to enlighten them about the obvious choice for the next NYT columnist.

As usual you rock and the Mouse Circus coverage is another classic and pure gold!

S