"I remember thinking to myself, How can that be? How can someone simply not remember whether or not they used an illegal substance like cocaine? It didn't make a lot of sense."
-- Scott "Future King of the Wal-Mart 80%-Off
Remaindered Book Bin" McClellan
Remaindered Book Bin" McClellan
100 years from now, historians will say that, after eight years of lavishing attention on every ginned-up, half-baked, crackpot, wingnut-financed Clinton rumor, the media felt real, real bad about how awfully they'd behaved and decided to make it up...
...to George W. Bush.
Which is like giving twenty bucks to a random junkie to balm your conscience because you feel bad about kicking a puppy in the teeth.
100 years from now they will wonder how in the hell our modern media -- with all the wealth and talent and technology in the world at its command -- could have been so monstrously stupid, feckless, sophomoric and irresponsible.
So just to sent the record straight -- if any future historians are listening -- 100 years ago we were wondering the same damn thing.
16 comments:
next time you drop money on a wino make them promise you that they won't spend it on food.
it works for me.
Here's a clue for future historians:
David Brooks has a litmus test for whether a leader is a man of the people. A politician is considered an "out of touch elitist" if his constituents cannot picture him hanging out at the salad bar of Applebee's, a chain restaurant.
The fact that Applebee's doesn't have a salad bar ought to irrevocably cast David Brooks into the "out of touch elitist" hell that he so readily consigns others to.
Assuming there were any justice. Especially the poetic kind.
So just to sent the record straight -- if any future historians are listening -- 100 years ago we were wondering the same damn thing.
Significantly fragmented, merged, corrupted and over-written, the record will be a mish-mash of observations.
Reconstruction will attribute the madness to the Y2K bug. It will further identify the bug in question as a particularly invasive virus that infested large parts of the northern half of the western hemisphere. It will credit quarantines and heightened border restrictions for preventing the pestilence's spread. The outbreak will be noted to have lasted for a decade before geneticists identified the defective genome and purged the system.
Folklore mentions of a genus of bush that hosted the virus remain unverified.
That photoshop is a thing of beauty.
That is Governor Toot-Nose to us unwashed commoners.
Toot-Nose is a direct-line descendant of Tutmose the Pyramidal ... that is, if you believe Karen Hughes.
And why wouldn't we believe Karen Hughes? She/he and Lil Scottie McClellan spent all those hours in Texas and other states purging Department of Motor Vehicle records ... coke arrests ... vehicular homicides (Chalk one up for Pickles Bush!).
If Toot-Nose of the Brush Cutter Dynasty likes nose candy, PR Spinmeister McClellan and I-Can't-Believe-The-TransSexual-Op-Took Hughes would have been the first to bury it. (or most of it)
Both also know why the Eyptian Sphinx is NOSE-LESS.
What blue gal said.
I have it on good authority (I read the McClellan quote to someone who would know) that your first line of coke is like laying your hands upon the one true axle of your destiny. Bush's statement to McClellan is physiologically impossible. If he was conscious, he would remember for the rest of his life.
This is the type of test lie some alpha males tell to see if you have what it takes to be on the team. If you can swallow this, the keys to the kingdom can be yours.
Scotty swallowed.
Historians are a clear-sighted bunch, as a rule. Bush is a symptom. They will curse the American people.
OH SNAP!!
I can't stop laughing!
My favorite DG chop ever!
Make a Poster!
Just the best, Dg!
Tears of joy are streaming down my face and weird sounds coming out of my inner librul gut(?) after reading through these comments.
Just stonypillow's was more than enough!
Scotty swallowed.
And, of course, what Blue Gal said (IN CAPS!).
Suzan
Welcome to Pottersville
yeah, so now the commentattertots are going to make up for their laxity and make obama's life hell at every possible moment.
it's just so predictable.
Well, if you are going to race to the bottom, falling down, ass over teakettle, with a few broken bones, is the fastest way.
StonyPillow said...
I have it on good authority (I read the McClellan quote to someone who would know) that your first line of coke is like laying your hands upon the one true axle of your destiny.
Sounds accurate. Unless the Shrub was too drunk to remember.
Either way... Dry Drunk or Fibber in Chief. Helluva job Shrubie.
I am reminded of this bit from 1984:
For whom, it suddenly occurred to him to wonder, was he writing this diary? For the future, for the unborn? … For the first time the magnitude of what he had undertaken came home to him. How could you communicate with the future? It was of its nature impossible. Either the future would resemble the present in which case it would not listen to him, or it would be different from it, and his predicament would be meaningless.
I can only hope that the world we live in will be completely and utterly incomprehensible to anybody living a hundred years from now. If there are any, that is.
100 years from now, historians will say that, after eight years of lavishing attention on every ginned-up, half-baked, crackpot, wingnut-financed Clinton rumor, the media felt real, real bad about how awfully they'd behaved and decided to make it up...
And now that they've been called out as the craven, feckless whores that they are (by Scottie, no less) will they feel real, real bad again ... and swing the pendulum back just in time for President BHO?
(Best dg photoshop ever.)
A 100 Years From Now?
Only if Tony Rice is singin it, and the Bluegrass Album Band is backing him up. Ya gotta know the song and the band to know the song . . . but it fits.
A Hundred Years From Now
Well a hundred years from now I won't be crying
A hundred years from now I won't be blue
And my heart will have forgotten that she broke every vow
I won't care a hundred years from now
Oh, it seems like only yesterday you told me
You couldn't live without my love somehow
Now that you're with another it breaks my heart somehow
I won't care a hundred years from now
Now do you recall the night sweetheart you promised
Another's kiss you never would allow
That's all in the past dear it didn't seem to last
I won't care a hundred years from now.
Nope, can't care a hunnert years from now. Can only hope. *G*
For now, it's BMinor and pick it son.
Bush provided us debt, degeneracy, and destruction.
Thanks korporate media whores.
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