Monday, May 19, 2008

Sunday Morning Comin’ Down

"Dragged down by the stone" edition.

In which Sunday's Mouse Circus can actually be reduced to one picture --

President Stupid to Senator McSame:
"My Beautiful Mind to your mind."

"My reckless, dimwitted thoughts to your thoughts."

And the deep drought afflicting the whole schtick behind the Mouse Circus continues, parching the Sunday Morning Barking Heads Savannah into a few, dingy mudholes where the enervated survivors wallow in their own poo and pine for the Good Old days.

Because the headwaters of the Mouse Circus has always been putting a bunch of Conservatives and a few token Centrists in a jar, shaking ‘em up and watching them fight over who is less of an evil Liberal than whom.

Then having a bunch of Conservative and a few, token Centrist pundits on to talk about it.

Problem is the public, in record numbers, are sick of the GOP.

Sick of their message.

Sick of their leadership.

Sick to death of their fucking war.

So the Barking Heads are left to try to drum up business with:

A. The Commander Guy reintroducing himself to the limelight with his Nazi-gate “appeasement” catastrophe in much the same way a piano defenestrated from the Burj Dubai would be “reintroduced” to the earth below.

B. Senator McSame, still gamely trying to prove to The Base that he is Dubya’s complete bitch, scurrying to catch said piano full in the face.

C. John Boehner – perspiring like Nixon in a sweat lodge – desperately struggling to hang onto his job by explaining that (I am not kidding) Republicans are the REAL change agent guys. Because more tax cuts will fix everything, and Nancy Pelosi is to blame for making gas prices go up.

D. Pundits reduced to acting shocked that Commander Guy says breathtakingly reckless, stupid and hypocritical things…despite the fact that Dubya’s entire Presidency – his entire adult life – has been an almost unbroken string of consistent recklessness, stupidity and hypocrisy.

So what changed?

America changed.

In the space of the last few years, millions of Americans have changed their minds on the subject of Iraq. The verdict is that Iraq was a huge fucking mistake and that we're leaving, sooner rather than later.

(Or, to paraphrase the old joke about the gold-digger, we have already determined what sort of nation we are. Now we’re just negotiating the price.)

And effects of this massive shift in the American mind have slowly but inexorably begun to show up at the Mouse Circus.

Because for the last five years, their despicable Iraqi Debacle has been the rocket fuel of the GOP; it powered all things, forgave all fascist excesses, and put the barbarous glint in the eye and the berserk rhetoric into the mouths of every wingnut apologist from the barstool at the corner tavern to the anchor desk at the Fox News whorehouse.

So quite aside from moral, fiscal and security considerations, America turning on Bush’s War means that the chickenhawks and thieves who occupy the White House are being deprived of their ability to use American troops as human shields behind which they they can cower while they snipe at their critics.

Increasingly, Republican politicians can no longer walk up to a microphone, say plain crazy shit or make ridiculous promises, then invoke the troops and Saddam Hussein, and walk away without getting slammed.

Increasingly, Republicans are trying to find ways to run like hell away from Dubya. He went virtually unmentioned during the GOP Presidential Debates, and in state after state the Bicycle Chief is disappearing from the Conservative lexicon.

Problem is, there is this great, drooling beast squatting right at the heart of the GOP called “The Base” who were promised by their President ouchless wars with easy victories, low gas prices, and mountains of gloriously dead scary brown people.

They were promised a permanent Christopath majority where they could loudly hate Dirty Fucking Hippies, uppity women, Negroes and queers in peace.

They were promised the kingdoms of the Earth -- an empire of plenty all gift-wrapped up in the American flag.

But most importantly, they were solemnly promised that they would never again have their sodden delusions troubled by the harsh glare of Reality’s early light. And they will tear the fucking Temple down before they let the Party they now completely dominate renege on that promise.

Dubya and the Pig People are the drunken Daddy and delusional Mommy of the GOP, and waaay back in the days when the cotton was high and it was open season on Liberals, the rest of the Party was cool with that arrangement.

Back then, the GOP went all-in with George Bush, and they have spent the last seven years smirkingly celebrating his treasons and war crimes, laughing and applauding every time he wiped his ass with the Constitution, and loudly screaming “Traitor!” at anyone who whispered anything remotely critical of their beloved Commander Guy.

They cheered as he lost whole cities and ruined whole countries.

They hooted as he looted the treasury and crippled the military.

When Dubya’s Foxtard Fascism bestrode the Earth, Republicans giddily sided with him on all things, following him eagerly below decks and laughing as he welded the door shut behind them.

But now events are slowly sandblasting the Rovian Scales from their eyes, and now the True Dubya – the Dubya we Dirty Fucking Hippies have always seen clearly and have always loudly opposed – is finally coming into focus.

Dubya the idiot.

Dubya the sadist.

The peevish, spoiled, irresponsible, dimwit Dubya.

Dubya to sociopath.

Dubya the narcissist who has always been interested only in himself: his goals, his personal legacy and comfort.

Dubya the spoiled dauphin, whose life has been a saga of wreckage and failure, where other people clean up his messes while he uses his family name and family fortune to glide blissfully away from the consequences of his crimes and catastrophes.

The Dubya so deep in his fuehrer-in-the-bunker political cups that – according to Peggy Noonan – his White House actually thought that the spectacle of the President of the United States…invoking Hitler, holocaust and appeasement on the floor of the Knesset...during ceremonies marking the 60th anniversary of the creation of the state of Israel…in order to score the filthiest kind of Rovian political points against Senator Obama…was “clever”.

Dubya -- as the inimitable LowerManhattanite writes here – as the “The Crazy Old Man In The Broken-Down House”

That “phenomenon” is that of The Neighborhood Kook.

It's a guy—almost always a guy—who regularly and sometimes entertainingly acts out in embarassingly nutty ways. Our neighborhood kook was a gentleman I shall refer to as “Mr. R”.

Which is why the only emergent theme this Sunday was this: “Will McSame be the Third Bush Term or not?”

Because by the end of this year the results of eight years of Bush will have been the demolition of the GOP and ever-increasing numbers of voters driving Conservatism to the dump and abandoned it like a pillowcase full of leaky car batteries.

Or as Our Lady of the Magic Dolphin put it in the Wall Street Journal:
"The moment when the party could have broken, on principle, with the administration – over the thinking behind and the carrying out of the war, over immigration, spending and the size of government – has passed. What two years ago would have been honorable and wise will now look craven. They're stuck.

"Mr. Bush has squandered the hard-built paternity of 40 years. But so has the party, and so have its leaders. If they had pushed away for serious reasons, they could have separated the party's fortunes from the president's. This would have left a painfully broken party, but they wouldn't be left with a ruined "brand," as they all say, speaking the language of marketing. And they speak that language because they are marketers, not thinkers. Not serious about policy. Not serious about ideas. And not serious about leadership, only followership."

It was only yesterday that blind, simpering fealty to the ravings of the Dear Leader and pandering like mad to the degenerate fantasies of the Pig People

-- that being of absolutely one mind

with the scum of the Earth --

was the litmus test of Republican patriotism and godliness.

Now it is an anchor tied around their throats.

Now...'s too late to lose
the weight you used to need
to throw around.

So have a good drown,
as you go down,
all alone.

Dragged down by the stone.


Earl said...

This is, perhaps, the finest piece of writing I have read in a long, long time.


Bustednuckles said...

Good fucking riddance.
Let them crawl back to their Hellmouth on broken glass.
As much as I love this country, it isn't the place I was born and raised in.That is gone. Hopefully after November, the Republican party will cease to be a functioning body.
The Pig People and the hate filled elements will always be there, but they have fucked this up on a cosmic scale.
The pendulum has already started it's fateful swing back the other way and I hope to be around long enough to see the apogee of it's return arc.
That and several hundred show trials.

Matthew Saroff said...

You juxtaposed Star Trek (TOS) and Bush. There are some lines that should not be crossed, so I'm going to have to hunt you down and sing Karaoke to you. It's ugly, but there is no choice.

On the brighter side, you get to choose the song.

Which do you want, "You're Having My Baby", Manilo's "Copa Cabana", or "Freebird"?

I know that "Freebird" seems the obvious choice, but don't. It will spoil the song for you forever.

Bwah hah hah!!!

Blue Gal said...

Matthew, you forgot Delta Dawn.

(Oops, sorry DG)

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Driftglass.

Momma, the Teachers, the finger-wagging Scolds ALWAYS said:

Don't gloat. Don't say: Told yuh so. Don't be smug.

To which this reasonable-man essay and I say: Fuck that noise. Gloat, baybee. Gloat.

They are going down in cement sneakers of their own Jimmy Hoffa Design.

How's that drowning thing working out for you 26 percenters?

Didja ever think them granite gargoyles guarding the sacred entrance would animate peck out your ass brains and your unseeing ojos?

So, they never expected the screw to turn? They figured the great wheel of kharma would never keep on rolling? Maybe they just thought they'd have us all lobotomized and pissing our panties by now.

Ooops. They missed a few ... billion. And, bustedknuckles? I don't want "show trials." I want full blown, Get Yer Gloaties On, Nurem-fucking-berg Inter-farking-national Criminal Trials. I want them to be placed in bullet-proof witness boxes ... like Man In the Glass Booth. I want them to skid mark their BVDs when their keepers, Kapos and guards all call in sick one day. And they gotta make it through the -- ugh -- people to get to that glass booth.

If, BN, you meant "show trial" as in showy or circusy -- in a 4th frozen circle of Dante's Inferno kinda Dead Zone way, then bring it on.

I'm gonna take my advanced education and degrees and white ass (all the stuff Hillary proudly STOPPED talking to) and I'm gonna pretend I'm from a small Transylvanian village whose clan has killed off the "other" clan for 6,000 years. And so it shall always be inre: GOPers.

Get yer Gloat ooooon. I like. I like.

Ivory Bill Woodpecker said...

"The Elephascists have screwed the poch SO thoroughly this time, the Democrats can't possibly lose."

Hmmm...didn't I hear this in 1988 and 2004?

Ivory Bill Woodpecker said...

"screwed the POOCH"

[Preview is my friend, preview is my friend...]

lilybelle said...

I agree with Earl - this was beautiful.
The commenters, too, are all brilliant!

Matthew Saroff said...

Delta Dawn????

Blue gal, that's goes from necessary punishment to CIA secret prison.....We are talking just punishment, not meaningless sadistic torture.

Dr. Zaius said...


Sandman said...

I know that "Freebird" seems the obvious choice, but don't. It will spoil the song for you forever.

Too late. I guess that's what I get for watching "The Devil's Rejects."

PhysioProf said...

Because by the end of this year the results of eight years of Bush will have been the demolition of the GOP and ever-increasing numbers of voters driving Conservatism to the dump and abandoned it like a pillowcase full of leaky car batteries.

I sure as fuck hope you're right. The Dems seem to have quite a talent for grasping defeat from the jaws of victory, so I am not counting chickens just yet.

Carlo said...

Good Job! :)