“Oh, Noes!" sez Mittens.

"Not Teh Nixon!"

From the AP

Romney: McCain Used Nixon-Like Tactic
By GLEN JOHNSON

LONG BEACH, Calif. (AP) — Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney on Thursday accused his rival John McCain of adopting underhanded tactics from Richard Nixon, the GOP president who resigned in disgrace.

"I don't think I want to see our party go back to that kind of campaigning," Romney said in his most pointed rebuttal yet to front-runner McCain's claim that the former Massachusetts governor favors a timetable for withdrawing troops from Iraq. Romney denies this charge and most media analyses have concluded that Romney wasn't using `timetable' in the same way Democratic candidates have.

McCain's decision to level the timetable charge this week without leaving Romney time to rebut it before Florida Republicans voted in their primary "was reminiscent of the Nixon era," Romney said. McCain ended up winning the Florida contest Tuesday.

…

I think maybe Mittens needs to take a closer look at the

face of the Dear Leader of his Glorious Conservative Revolution.

Dear Mittens;

A little free advise.

Step One: Take off the Magic Underpants

Step Two: Check the label your little lady has sewn into the waistband.

See what it says there?

“Hello! My Name is Mittens! If found, please return me to the Republican Party for a $ub$tantial!Reward!”

First, an ambassadorship to Burkia Faso and a milk chocolate replica of the Mormon Tablets wrapped in imitation gold foil is not a “$ub$tantial!Reward!”

Second, it says “Republican”, which is spelled R-e-p-u-b-l-i-c-a-n. And while it's kinda sad that a Dirty Fucking Hippy such as myself has to let you in on one of your own Party’s Big Secrets, somebody ought to hip you to the fact that inside the GOP, “Nixonian” is not exactly considered a pejorative.

In fact, among the Pig People, being a sleazy, backstabbing, slime-chucking liar is like being, well, Jebus. Just as long as that version of Jebus also swears on the lives His children (well, Ok, other people's children) to cut taxes for millionaires, kill brown people and blame the evils of the world on Clinton's Penis.

Or did it somehow fail to register that the Southern Strategy upon which your entire party has depended for victory for the last thirty years came right out of the Nixon Playbook. As did the dogma that “Dissent = Treason” and “Opposition = Enemy.”

I mean, in case you hadn't noticed it, the job you are running for is currently held by someone who got it precisely because -- in the grandest tradition of Richard Milhouse Nixon and Lee Atwater -- there was no sewer too low for Karl Rove to waddle through or shithouse cesspit too rancid for him to burrow into if he could scare up a few extra votes for the Boy King.

In fact, after a couple of beers, the average Pig Person will tell you straight out that the only problems with Nixon were that he was too Liberal, he didn’t burn the fucking tapes, and he didn’t declare martial law and roll the tanks in the streets.

These people run your Party.

These people voted for Reagan, twice.

Voted for Bush, twice, and still think he is doing a Fabulous Fucking Job.

And these people sincerely believe that if Nixon had just let Liddy hang a few hundred hippies from a few hundred lamp posts, this country wouldn't be in the sorry-ass shape it is in today.

And since you’re, y’know, running as a r-e-p-u-b-l-i-c-a-n, maybe you should know this stuff.