Thursday, October 18, 2007

Cussin’: Turns out it’s like


Water for Mutha@&$!#ing Chocolate!

The AP reports on the Greatest @&$!#ing Study Ever Told


Swearing at work 'boosts team spirit, morale'

Wed Oct 17, 11:54 AM ET

Regular swearing at work can help boost team spirit among staff, allowing them to express better their feelings as well as develop social relationships, according to a study by researchers.

Yehuda Baruch, a professor of management at the University of East Anglia, and graduate Stuart Jenkins studied the use of profanity in the workplace and assessed its implications for managers.

They assessed that swearing would become more common as traditional taboos are broken down, but the key appeared to be knowing when such language was appropriate and when to turn to blind eye.

The pair said swearing in front of senior staff or customers should be seriously discouraged or banned, but in other circumstances it helped foster solidarity among employees and express frustration, stress or other feelings.

"Employees use swearing on a continuous basis, but not necessarily in a negative, abusive manner," said Baruch, who works in the university's business school in Norwich.

Banning swear words and reprimanding staff might represent strong leadership, but could remove key links between staff and impact on morale and motivation, he said.

"We hope that this study will serve not only to acknowledge the part that swearing plays in our work and our lives, but also to indicate that leaders sometimes need to 'think differently' and be open to intriguing ideas.

"Managers need to understand how their staff feel about swearing. The challenge is to master the 'art' of knowing when to turn a blind eye to communication that does not meet their own standards."


This is about ownership and responsibility.

Because you, personally, own the entire English language.

Every motherfucking word of it.

And so do I. So do we all. And every day we raze it, build it, break it and birth it, because it is a living thing.

It is our inalienable birthright, and will be our most versatile legacy to little fuckers not yet born, but as with driving the Big Rigs, or operating a band saw with your toes, the tool itself demands a certain level of responsibility and respect.

When used correctly, language not only feels like a mouthful of velvet rubies and chocolate mousse, it can reformat the world, heal a scalded heart, and get her to shed those pesky pants!

Used incompetently it is an embarrassment. A rusting dumpster in a reeking alley behind which the ignorant, the bigoted and the irrational believe they can pass out, occluded from scrutiny in shit-stained imbecile safety, but which turns out, by dawn's early light, to be a mini-bus full of liberals with digital cameras.

And so ended the tale of the political fortunes of our Never President, George “Macaca” Allen.

Because oratorical fireworks and fizzy-water -- as wonderful as they are -- ultimately don’t matter.

Clarity matters. Sincerity matters. As “V” says, words acting as “the means to meaning” matters.

If you lay your words with due deliberation -- straight and true -- to build a straight and honest road to your take on the truth, you have nothing to apologize for. Conversely, if you deliberately napalm the language in order to hide your betrayals and perfidy in the smoke, you deserve nothing but contempt and an eternity spent barbering George Orwell’s grave with G.I. Joe’s tiny, plastic bayonet.

In the end, the second most dishonorable and demeaning thing you can do to this fine, fierce, sinewy, blunt, flensing bazooka you have been granted is to cower in the corner, making a mighty, scowling fortress out of your “Impactfuls”, “Synergies”, “Paradigms” and the other 181 officially approved units of lifeless bizzpeak buzztwaddle.

The most insulting thing is demanding that others do likewise.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fucking bastards!

Fran / Blue Gal said...

Ah yes. This is why my five year old never says no. She says "actually..." Because the entire language is hers and she can explain herself. Fuckin' ay you'd better listen.

And any excuse to use angry baby in a post is a worthwhile endeavour.

The Minstrel Boy said...

Drummond:

Your honor I don't swear just for the hell of it. English is a poor enough means of communication and I believe we should use all the words at our command. Besides there's damned little these fools understand anymore.

Anonymous said...

Huh. Over the weekend, I picked up FM: The Rise and Fall of Rock Radio, by Richard Neer, which describes the blue badinage between one of the producers and Scott Muni, also making the point that it "lightened the mood."

I love coincidence.

res ipsa loquitur said...

Remember the Lee Ermey character in "Full Metal Jacket?" That man's cussing was pure poetry.

Great post, drifty.

res ipsa loquitur said...

BTW, drifty ... did you digitally, um, enhance that kid -- or is he/she that pissed?

Anonymous said...

pissed? Man, that's an excited 'Happy Face' ! (seriously)

as in "I'm so F'n happy! Bring me some Breast Milk, Muthapucker"

Phil said...

Fuckin A, I guess it's time to drag out the classic old fuckin' film about the right fuckin' way to use the word Fuck in proper fuckin' english.
It's a fuckin' versatile word;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rX7-R54-Q8

Anonymous said...

Thanx Bustednucks - for the link

I fucked up, and started reading the dipshit comments at some fuckin news story about how that fuckwad Watson dissed, like, all of fucking Africa and anyone pigmented in any such fucking way as to not be extraordinarily 'spehshul' as his wrinkley old lily white fucking ass.

Teh Fucking Stoopid there got me so fucking depressed.

Till that link. Now I'm fukkin smilin' again :-)

Back Atcha

Unknown said...

They didn't pay this pissant of a fucktard of a sack of runny shit for this 'study'....

Did they?

¡El Gato Negro! said...

Driftglass writes a hell of a mash note to hees one true love.

so.

Anonymous said...

Dude, that post was fucking beautiful.

Myrtle June said...

Finger nails on a blackboard, that bizzspeak fuckery. I'm exhausted every day from the restraint required to not actually say the words "Could you just fucking say what you mean". Just exhausting.

So I come here to relax in the Calgon word bath you draw for us every day. Aaaaaaaah... bettah!

Thank you Driftglass! :-)

asha said...

Good post. Thanks. Language is for the living. The fuckwits chew mouthfuls of dead language like poor cattle chewing straw in the slaughterhouse line. It only increases their hunger as they shuffle to the meat hook.