Thursday, May 10, 2007

Oh The Embarrassment


I have learned that

Apparently

I

Do

Everything

Wrong.


Oh the shame.

The terrible, terrible shame.

As retroactively disconsolating as finding out one has been jerking off with the wrong hand all these years.

26 comments:

cieran said...

Pachacutec's rules are what we mathematical types refer to as "sufficient, but not necessary".

The view from Castle Driftglass, however intermittent and single-voiced it might be, is always well worth the visit.

And that is (and always will be) the core of any enlightened reader community.

Anonymous said...

Drifty, sir, you are the exception that punks the rules.
thebewilderness

Anonymous said...

Driftglass does #5 so well that the other seven don't matter. I check every day for one posting a week sometimes, but that one (or more)post Driftglass is worth waiting for. SUnday Morning Coming Down makes my whole week.

Mister Roboto said...

The way I look at it, if ya got yerself off, then you were jerkin' with the correct hand. :-D You, sir, are jerkin' it with the correct hand. Now go wash up! And use soap!

Anonymous said...

as others have noted, pac at fdl is defining one method. and fdl is one of those must-check sites.
but drifty, you've chosen a no less successful path.
talented outrage finds its own way.

Anonymous said...

I guess I do everything wrong, too, as I find myself checking by a couple times a day. What a surprise when greeted by a rare new nugget.

Your pace is just fine. Gotta go wash up now.

Anonymous said...

"All right, sweethearts, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious day in the corps! A day in the Blogging Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal's a banquet! Every Google Ads $1.28 paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! I LOVE the corps!"

This ain't no community. This is Ripley in the power loader. This is Chicago School. Those "community" folks can deal with it.

Anonymous said...

"The way I look at it, if ya got yerself off, then you were jerkin' with the correct hand. :-D"

Yeah. And you graciously bring us with you on the journey.

Number 5 is what counts.

I index books for entrepreneurs. All day long I read stuff like Paracutec's entry. Brand thyself, network, sell, sell, sell. For relief, I read poetry. Your writing is poetry. The other stuff, all product, all the time.

I am a devotee.

leigh

Jill said...

If one more fucking blogger on a high-traffic site tells me how to be just as fabulous as he/she is, I'm going to scream.

One thing I've found since I spoke up about Blogroll Amnesty Day is that the smaller blogs are often far more interesting, once you find them.

FDL is a far better endeavor than, say, the Great Orange Satan or the Open Thread King, and some of the points are well-taken. For example, my sister has an astrology blog, and her traffic has grown faster than mine is. But you've gotta write about what you know and care about, and if it's politics and current affairs, you're in a mighty big pool.

Still, I'd rather read one Drifty post a week than 150 "Rock On" and "Open Thread" posts over at You Know Where.

Anonymous said...

Drilling down through the blogs to get to the meat can be a fool's errand. Those who can, do, those who cannot link to those who can AND DO.

My take on Blogging for Dummies, If you're looking for an audience to participate in your jerking, follow the rules to the letter. If you are proficient at wielding words as a claymore, the deserving will find you.

Some not worthy or particularly deserving, who just happen to get lucky will show up too. One of them has placed another aged single malt on the Drifty shelf as incentive along with a copy of Jim Murray's Whisky Bible.

Phil said...

As retroactively disconsolating as finding out one has been jerking off with the wrong hand all these year


I'm still laughing at that one.
I don't know why.

I will seriously say this;
When I grow up, I want to write like Driftglass.
You have a one off style that I just can't get enough of. I love the way you fillet Bobo and others, it is art to me.
If there was only one blogger that I could get drunk with and have a few laughs, well, you are on a very short list.

Anonymous said...

You goof. You know we love you. And I check here every day, hoping you have had time to post something new.

Every. Fucking. Day.

Because when you do post something new, it's always worth reading.

I have no comment on, nor interest in, your mastubatory habits, however. ;)

Mr.Shemp said...

Yup - I check here every day too, usually once in the morning and once at night.

Your longer pieces are amazing. Don't be afraid to sprinkle in shorter pieces from time to time. Such as this one. ;)

If "Sunday Morning Comin' Down" could be a weekly vlog, that would be the coolest thing ever.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

If driftglass is blogging wrong, I don't want to be right.

Popular is not the same as Good, or Right.

Anonymous said...

I always check in to see if you've written something new - and when I see that you have, I stop and settle in for some fun.

Seldom do other political blogs get an "Oh cool, a new post" response out of so many readers - but you do.

:-)

BitterHarvest said...

Raw talent makes up for any shortcomings, D, and we all realize you have to work a job that "keeps the wolves away from the door," as you've said. Now if they could write a how-to book on How to Write Like Driftglass, that would be REALLY good advice.

Imaginista said...

FDL and Castle Driftglass are as different as a dildo and a vibrator. Both get you there, just in different ways.

I check here every day. (I usually comment as "Scout.") New post days are like Christmas. It's funny, but when I was reading Pach's post yesterday, I kept thinking to myself, well this is true and that's and that's a good point, unless you write like Driftglass.

Anonymous said...

Sure, it's a disappointment when I make my daily stop here, and there's no new post, but it certainly doesn't stop me from my daily check, and when I'm greated by Sunday Morning Comin' Down or a gem like "The Aristocrats" or "Ubik", it makes up for any check without new content (and that takes SUCH a burdensome amount of time, doncha know...).

Anonymous said...

just read the FDL outline on how to succeed at wanking a blog. Inspiring. If by 'inspiration' one means "how to synergize your chakras and influence people". I would agree that you've illuminated #5 without exception.

Ya know, I'm convinced more and more that you and Camus have more in common spiritually than Raoul Duke ever will. And if one is so inclined to scratch past the bloggehyde, a rabbit hole emerges and yawns into an immense vein of insight and information. and occasionally total Absurdism, which leads me to

The Stranger:
To masturbate while your hand is numb, to give the sensation that someone else is pleasuring you.

Dave Chapelle as Lil' John: "Sometimes i like to sit on my hand until it gets numb, and then masturbate. I call it The Stranger".

What?
EeeeYeaahh!!

Anonymous said...

Genius makes its own rules.

And you, sir, are a genius.

Anonymous said...

Ditto the above.

PS- "Everything popular is wrong."

- Oscar Wilde

Anonymous said...

Just keep doin' it wrong, dude.

L.S./M.F.T said...

Drifty,

How do you correct success?

Keep on doing what you're doin'.

Anonymous said...

Drifty,
I don't usually comment (shy) - I am such a lurker- BUT, when I want my politics barefisted (the only way IMHO) I choose YOUR site first. You are doing things, "just right" you don't need to change for anyone or any thing!
Hugs and smooches!
Crazygrrl

Anonymous said...

Driftglass, ignore that nasty man. His truth is his alone. Yours is everybody's. Good on ya, mate. Mike in NZ

jurassicpork said...

What're you so ashamed of, DG? Yours is one of my two or three fave blogs. You pretty much honor quite a few of those rules (like being excellent with frightening and enviable regularity).