Saturday, March 31, 2007

Sure it's nice.


But where does the stripper go?


So I looked up this morning and noticed that it was this blog’s second birthday.

Holy crap. Two years of sassmouth.

So, first, in honor of entering the Terrible Twos, let me just say that this site will now feature a LOT more “No, no, no, no, no, I don’t wanna, no, no, no, no, I don’t wanna, no, fuck you, no, no, waaaah!, no, no, no, go away, shut up, no, waaagh!” posts.

And as a concession to the post-Flintstones-pre-Jetsons modern era we live in, I will try to Atrios those posts down to a lean, aerodynamic, no-fat, no-cal, no-sugar, no-sodium, no-caffine, no-verb, main-course-in-pill-form, three-syllable link to Digby :-) Because I know from watching the teevee that’s what all the kids want these days, what with their loud rock and roll music and Xboxes and secret Mickey Mouse Club sex rave parties.

I also understand from what we at castle driftglass hear on the wireless

that the concept of the Compleat Sentence And Paragraph Lone Blogger site is as laughably anachronistic as nine Gumby and Pokey Cartoons and as dead as three Dillingers, but as I am a creature of habit, an occasional adjective might slip through, so bear with me.

Second, I promise to continue artfully sprinkling in spelling errors, puntuational-perversions and spontaneous tense-shifts in ways that appear to the untrained eye to be completely random but are actually a massively complex letter-transposition encoding project that will eventually aggregate into of my epic poem on the tragedy of the Hay-Bunau-Varilla Treaty.

Third, I checked the astrology bit in my morning paper for my blog’s sign to see how its day would be.

At first I thought it was a Nesbitt…

Mrs O: There's not a zodiacal sign called Nesbitt...

Mrs Trepidatious: All right, Derry and Toms.

Mrs O: Aquarius, Scorpio, Virgo, Derry and Toms. April 29th to March 22nd. Even dates only.

Mrs Trepidatious: Well what does it presage?

Mrs O: You have green, scaly skin, and a soft yellow underbelly with a series of fin-like ridges running down your spine and tail. Although lizardlike in shape, you can grow anything up to thirty feet in length with huge teeth that can bite off great rocks and trees. You inhabit arid sub-tropical zones and wear spectacles.

Mrs Trepidatious: It's very good about the spectacles.

Mrs O: It's amazing.


Lastly, here is the graphic I borrowed for Post Number One.


Because I still like it.

And now, off to a long day’s labors.

Because phrases like “"Treaty that no Panamanian ever signed” and “Compagnie Nouvelle du Canal de Panama” aren’t just going to rhyme themselves.

27 comments:

Ripley said...

Huzzah! Here's to eleventeen more years of snappy smartassery and spit in their eye.

Huzzah!!

StonyPillow said...

Good sir, this is home of the Chicago School of blogging. Some of us like complete sentences and paragraphs. It kind of shows you took the time to make it right. Just like Sister Mary Himmler taught us at Our Lady of the Broad Shoulders back in the day while she was slapping us upside the head.

Congratulations on starting your third year in Blogtopia. Please don't change. But pace yourself. We need you, the third year of blogging is the killer, and we've got two years of Republick rule to go.

Best thing is, lose the annoyances. They sap the will to blog. As a ferinstance, use the other buttons on the car radio when WBEZ gets annoying. WLUP is my Plan B for the drive home. I seldom need Plan C, and ten minutes later, NPR has gone on to something else.

Cheers again. Have an Old Style for the rest of us.

Malacandra said...

Happy birthday! You've helped me through the past two very tough years by stimulating my laughter and outrage in precisely the physician-recommended doses.

My appreciation and admiration for you is undeminished by the fact that the phrase "What Digby Said" is, in fact, four syllables.

I look at Atrios as a lefty clip service, and visit that blog daily - even though I do remember the days when his meatspace name was a matter of conjecture... and he wrote more substantively.

As for you... while I hope that the future brings you less occassion for the fierce indignation that Republican rule has afforded, I'm sure that you'll never lack for material, at least until we can fill up and launch the "B-Ark"... the world being what it is.

And your writing being what it is, you'll never lack for an audience.

The Minstrel Boy said...

thank you for two years of this blog. happy anniversary!

Karen McL said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gentlewoman said...

w00t!!1!!!

Mazel tov!

I agree with stonypillow: don't change.

I read you every day, and will continue to do so, even though you are the first blogger to have pointed a gun at me.

Karen McL said...

Keep the sass-mouth coming!

Happie Bloggieversary!

:-)

tweez said...

Congratulations!

BTW, the only reason your occasional spelling/punctuation errors stand out is that your writing is so polished and professional-looking all the time. It's like running into a spelling error in the middle of a New Yorker article. Like a stream of bat piss, it shines out like a shaft of gold when all around is dark.

chautauqua said...

Wow, yeah, what everybody above said and then some.

I like the leaner scheme, but please, less You-Tube. It somehow cheapens the beautifully merciless blood-soaked rapier of your natural wit.

cleter said...

Happy blogbirthday.

L.S./M.F.T said...

Drifty,

Happy Frackin' Blog-a-versary !!!

I raise a toast, a horn of the finest mead, to you and yours at Castle Driftglass! Have a good, long, gaze at the Scottish Fruitcake and have a bite of stripper for me.

Congrats!

Eli said...

Ahem. "What Digby says" is *four* syllables. Give the A-Man a little credit.

And congrats, dude! Keep it comin'.

US Blues said...

Happy Birthday drifty! Do what you do, we love you for it!

PS- Give the Castle kitty some extra nip tonight.

alyssa said...

Happy Blogbirthday! And may I add my plea for you to continue on as you have before. Your eloquent wit is needed and appreciated in its natural, unfettered form. I don't know if one more outlet for "heh, indeedy ::link::" or "what digby said" would make baby jeebus cry, but it sure would make ME cry. Especially if I saw it here. I love your writing. Don't change!

skunqesh said...

Thanks Dood! for all you do,
this toast's for U.

I liked the way Malacandra put it - the wit and wisdom, the ire and the ironies keep the bluuz at bay. Don't stop rockin' it.

Slainte'!

Betsy said...

Congratulations. I lurk here every day--sorry I don't comment but others say the same things much more intelligently. I enjoy this blog very much and appreciate all the time, effort and craziness you put into it. Thanks so much for making it available for us.
Betsy

arghous said...

Congrats for your spawn. I look forward to the howls when it might now toddle over to some wingnut neighbor's pet and pull its tail.

Please don't change too much. I don't read Atrios or Kos. Their Democratic Party apple juice Kool-Aid has sitting next to the carbolic acid for far too long. It's nice to get a dose of real, valid outrage from castle driftglass.

But then, I'm pre-pre-Jetsons; I've never been to any Mickey Mouse rave parties, let alone with any sexy hair net-wearing housewives.

habitat-vic said...

A happy second birthday/anniversary to you, kind sir and gifted wordsmith.

Been many a year since I lived in Chicago, but may you have many a fine single malt in honor of your writings. Not less than 18 years of course (perhaps an exception for Lagavulin 16), as we do wish to mind the age of consent. Perhaps a fitting end of night with a Char Cheddar Burger. Or a morning after at Ann Sathers (hope those are both still around).

Fight the good fight. Know that you are not alone. I salute you.

Ivory Bill Woodpecker said...

Happy Blogiversary, Drifty. Come da revolution, you're welcome to my share of the redistributed fine booze, since I don't touch ethanol. :)

damaged goods said...

my haven't we been the busy montaigne.

however you choose to keep posting, it's more than fine by me.

you are the essential textbook for "the art of outrage." heck, you're the whole course.

congrats. keep on doing. it's much appreciated.

Alba4eva said...

You're the first 2 year old that I didn't want to exile until they turned 18. And you write real purdy for a snot-nosed blog. Keep those diapers clean!

Anonymous said...

“Ensign Driftglass, get over here and fuck me stupid. Now.” Yes ma’am! :-)

xoxoxoxoxo

leigh

Loveandlight said...

As we say here in Wisconsin, "Happy birttay to youse 'n' all that!"

ifthethunderdontgetya™ said...

Happy Bird Day!

P.S.

...and secret Mickey Mouse Club sex rave panties. There, all better.

justme said...

Happy birthday, drifty, and many, many returns.

¡El Gato Negro! said...

¡Felíz Bloggiversario!

¡Vamanos!(image only)

PeeDee said...

Drifty - I, for one, will be reading every post you write until you slump over the keyboard and send out an unending stream of xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx...

Like a stream of sunlight through a stormy sky; I'm not going to miss a moment.