Monday, December 11, 2006

The Power of Boozetive Thinking.


Here is what we see.

And here is what they say:
"The situation in Iraq is grave and deteriorating."

“There is no magic formula to solve the problems of Iraq.”

“We do not know if it can be turned around.”

Carl Levin: "We are not winning the war in Iraq, is that correct?"
Dr Gates replied: "That is my view, yes, senator."


But here is what President Beergoggles sees.



Here is what he hears them saying:

“U.S. Army soldiers and Iraqi security forces are systematically destroying the illegal militia in the south of Iraq. Coalition forces are working with Iraqis in Fallujah to end control by Saddam loyalists and foreign fighters. We're building up Iraqi security forces so they can safeguard their own country.”
05/18/2004 Bush


“Iraq now has an independent judiciary, a free market, a new currency, more than 200 newspapers in circulation, and schools free of hateful propaganda.”
05/18/2004 Bush


Today…the army of a free Iraq is fighting for freedom.
09/02/2004 Bush


“…the people of Iraq no longer fear being executed and left in mass graves.”
09/02/2004 Bush


“My fellow citizens: Not only can we win the war in Iraq, we are winning the war in Iraq.”
12/18/2005 Bush.


"To retreat before victory would be an act of recklessness and dishonor, and I will not allow it."
12/19/2005 Bush.


Democrats calling for a quick exit, are "defeatists who refuse to see that anything is right."
12/19/2005 Bush.


"We are winning the war in Iraq."
12/19/2005 Bush.


“We’re winning, and we will win, unless we leave before the job is done.”
10/25/2006 Bush


“Absolutely, we're winning.”
10/25/2006 Bush



“I have no reason to think it changed, but also, again, go back and take a look at the broader answer that Bob Gates gave and ask yourself, is this consistent or inconsistent with what the President has been saying? I think you're going to find it's very consistent.”
12/05/2006 Tony Snow


And why?

Why?

Holy Mother of God, why?

Because:
"I'm the commander — see, I don't need to explain — I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being president."
—as quoted in Bob Woodward's Bush at War



And what are the likely results?


Bush seen rejecting Iraq lifeline
Iraq Study Group's advice likely to go begging, experts say

Carolyn Lochhead, Chronicle Washington Bureau
Sunday, December 10, 2006

(12-10) 04:00 PST Washington -- Much of Washington is looking at President Bush as a man standing on quicksand in Iraq, refusing the branch offered by his father's friend to save his presidency and the country from a historic blunder.

Bush looks at history, too. A day after the release of a grim assessment of the war by the Iraq Study Group, headed by James Baker, a close friend of Bush's father who served as secretary of state for President George H.W. Bush, and former Democratic Rep. Lee Hamilton, Bush conceded the need for tactical shifts, but he left it to those who follow him into the Oval Office to decide whether to leave Iraq.



Never forget that while Iraq was going up in flames, while the deathreek of the Hell that was coming was as sharp in the air as fresh blood, vomit and gasoline, and while the responsible 49% of the electorate begged and screamed and pleaded for the rest of the country to wake the fuck up, 51% of the electorate drank the Koolaid, shoved their collective heads ever further up their smug asses, called us traitors and voted for this lunatic.

Again.

Which is why the only thing I want to hear from every fucknozzle who voted for Bush in 2004 – from now until the end of time – is “I have quit my job to volunteer full time to work with disabled vets, and I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fucking sorry.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

like THAT'LL happen.

you saw the recent doonesbury strips about college kids who support the war but don't see it as a good use of their time, right? "i believe i can serve my country best by running a hedge fund."
it's a generation of cheneys, who are, shall we say, other directed. but the war's ok by them.
sweet jesus, what has this country become?

¡El Gato Negro! said...

"President Beergoggles"

OMFGato...

That ees a Koufax right there, that ees.



Es verdad.

Anonymous said...

We also confiscate every penny to pay down the National Debt, starting with the wealthy.

"Looks what's happening out in the streets,
need a revolution, got to revolution..."

-The Jefferson Airplane Volunteers of America

The Minstrel Boy said...

emptying bedpans in a clinic serving wounded vets, or a burn ward, that would be nice. . .or night janitor somewhere cleaning up after yuppie scum, minimum wage, no health care....nah, never happen he'll shuffle off to paraguay.

Anonymous said...

From Harper's Weekly Review:

The ISG report was released. "Truth of the matter is a lot of reports in Washington are never read by anybody," said President Bush. "To show you how important this one is, I read it." When
asked how Bush responded to the report's suggestions that the United States drastically alter its strategy in Iraq, panelist Lawrence Eagleburger said, "His reaction was, 'Where's my drink?'" Former Republican senator and Iraq Study Group member Alan Simpson said about Bush, "A 100-percenter is a person you don't want to be around. They have gas, ulcers, heartburn, and B.O."

A plane bound for Texas made an emergency landing after a female passenger lit matches to mask the odor of her fart.

Mister Roboto said...

Keep in mind that many people who voted for Bush in 2004 were swing-voters who were adhering to the American tradition of not tossing out a commander-in-chief while American troops remain committed in a large and serious engagement overseas.

Charles Perez said...

I quit holding my breath for an apology a long time ago. My only hope is that all the "fucknozzles" (in what part of your fevered mind do you find these gems???) who voted for Bush a second time dream of their own children being blown to smithereens by IEDs.

Every night.

For the rest of their lives.

Anonymous said...

So just how dangerous is Bush's inaction on Iraq policy?

Perhaps the most important success factor for an insurgency is the ability to adapt tactics more rapidly than your enemy can identify and deploy effective countermeasures.

Give credit for the idea to Michael Collins, or to Ho Chi Minh, or to Colonel John Boyd of OODA fame, but the salient fact is that David can defeat Goliath every time if David can act with sufficient agility so that his maneuvers become invisible to his more powerful foe.

The corollary here is that the absolute worst strategy to utilize against an effective and agile enemy is to "stay the course", because that approach guarantees unnecessary losses, i.e., it is tantamount to wasting the lives of your troops.

So the simple truth is that George W's stay-the-damned-course military strategy amounts to little more than giving aid and comfort to our nation's enemies, because it only helps our enemies win.

Thus the only real difference between the fragging that affected our troops in Vietnam and Bush's obstinate refusal to adhere to the most elementary principles of counterinsurgency doctrine is that he's killing American soldiers wholesale instead of retail.

Worst. President. Ever.

BitterHarvest said...

"McCaffrey says it'll take two years for us to get a handle on Iraq. That's four Friedman's and way too many Biden shots for me."

Amato at Crooks and Liars is using your standard of time: the Friedman, D.

driftglass said...

bitterharvest,
I'm sure I stole it from someone, but I can't remember who.
We are all, in the end, just meme delivery systems and beer-to-urine Philosopher Stones.

cieran,
Were he in the pay of foreign governments, he could hardly do more long-term damage than he is doing now.

dmg,
We are many countries. Some of them quite lovely.

Anonymous said...

"The people of Iraq no longer fear being executed and left in mass graves."

Fucking A!!! Now, they just get left out on the streets after they're executed.

Anonymous said...

Peoples occupied by foreign governments never need to "win", they just need not "lose".

Anonymous said...

My own brother being one of those "fucknozzles" who voted for Bush STILL does not fucking get it. Needless to say, we do not speak as I do not want to have a coronary.
Thanks Drifty for your as usual incisive, cut to the bone wit.