And so you're back

(With apologies to Ms. Gloria Gaynor…)

...from outer space

I just walked in to find you here, with your wang in Mehlman’s face.

Dubya's favorite go-to cock

A rent boi GI GOP

So where’d you get the fucking nerve

To come back and lecture me?

File this under Red Letter Christians vs. Yellow-Bellied Manwhores.

We begin with this intriguing article from "The Swamp" section of the Tribune:

Originally posted: September 24, 2006
Only Jesus can decide this fight

Posted by Frank James at 12:40 pm CDT
Last week I wrote about the Red-Letter Christians, a new movement of evangelicals meant to contest the Religious Right for the moral high ground in the nation’s public policy debates.

The RLC held their press conference to pre-empt the conservative Family Research Council’s Washington Briefing, an event meant in part to rally Christian conservatives before the November mid-term elections.

So what was the FRC’s response? Pretty muted actually, from what I heard at the FRC conference. Speaking at the general session on Friday, Tony Perkins, the FRC’s president, dismissed the RR’s critics in a not-too-subtle attack on their authenticity as Christians.

“There was a poll or survey just released by Baylor University, one of the most in-depth studies on Americans and religion,” Perkins said. “One of the things they pointed to was there really is a distinction between evangelicals.

“And I know we’re hearing a lot especially this week as a number of left-leaning quote unquote evangelicals have been denouncing this event.

“What it boils down to (is we) are Bible-believing Christians. That’s the demarcation. That’s the point of difference. And in that poll it shows that 22 percent of Americans believe the Bible. That is almost a quarter and the fact that’s almost the same number of people who were identified as value voters in the 2004 election. There is strength in numbers.

“We’re just encouraging Christians to say it’s OK to stand up and defend and proclaim the truth and we’re going to stand with you and we’re going to help you and together we will make a difference in this nation.”

“Bible-believing” is a term many who take the Bible literally use to describe themselves. It the same as fundamentalism, though that term seems to have fallen out of favor.

Perkins was essentially saying the BB Christians, his people, are real Christians because they “believe the Bible,” implying the other Christians really don’t so they aren’t real, a point he accentuated by saying "quote unquote evangelicals."

For their part, the RLC, so-called because they want to give greater priority in public to the social-justice message contained in Jesus’s words, printed in red in many Bibles, believe they are closer to Jesus’s truth because of their social-justice emphasis.

“The Red-Letter Christians… (are) saying we have neglected the words of Jesus. And Christians are supposed to be first of all known by obedience to Jesus Christ,” said Rev. Jim Wallis, founder of Sojourners, a Christian group devoted to social justice.

“And we haven’t seen that or heard that in proclamations by those who claim to be Christian and so active in public life. We want to return to Jesus’s words to correct the politics that have become so skewed by a partisan application of them.”
…

Apparently, despite overwhelming textual and theological support to the contrary, Jebus is actually a Republican who luuuurves lying, hate-vomiting hypocrites and hates Liberals like me.

And how do I know?

Because Manwhore Jeff Gannon hisself has urped back to the surface of the Earth to set heathens like me a’rights.

The article continues…

By the way, this is for those interested in Washington trivia. The reporter who asked Wallis the question that elicited the above response was none other than Jeff Gannon.

Yes, that Jeff Gannon. Gannon, many will recall, is the controversial former White House reporter for the conservative, online Talon News who left that post after liberal bloggers revealed his real name was James Dale Guckert and that nude photos of him appeared on gay escort websites.
…

And then, for bonus points, who shows up to respond to this article in the online comment section but Manwhore Jeff (which I cite here advisedly, aware that anyone can pretend to be anyone else in the fever swamp of the blogosphere.

I suppose like anyone can pretend to be a Marine in the world of Gay Conservative S&M Prostitution.)

Mr. James:

I'm pleased to be able to answer the question posed in your article. I believe that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God. That is one of three criteria that distinguishes Evangelicals from other Christians, the other two being the belief that the Blood of Christ is complete in its sufficiency for the redemption of sin and that the only way to God is through His Son, Jesus Christ.

The Red Letter Christians are attempting to pass themselves off as Evangelicals when by definition they are not. However, that is not the only problem RLCs have with authenticity. They try to skirt the issues of gay marriage and abortion by dimissing them as "wedge issues." They downplay their importance by pointing out that Jesus didn't directly address either topic. However, both gay marriage and abortion are inherently antithetical to his teachings and as such didn't warrant specific comment.

Helpful driftglass aside: This is, by the way, a complete lie.

“Abortion” as it is currently understood did not exist in the first century A.D. On the other hand, the issue of when a bundle of cells becomes a “person” was a matter of interest to Jewish scholars of the time (Note to Christopaths -- Jesus was Jewish, was a rabbi, and was incredibly scrupulous about the spirit of The Law):

In rabbinic Judaism, the embryo is 'not a person' (lav nefesh hu) until it is born. The fetus is considered 'part of its mother,' ubbar yerekh immo, rather than an independent entity. The Talmud regards the embryo during much of the first trimester as “simply water.” (Babylonian Talmud, Sanhedrin 72b, Hullin 58a, Yevamot 69b.) In this instance, the wisdom of ancient Jewish law, viewed as midrashic metaphor, presciently and uncannily mirrors modern embryology: during the first (and possibly part of the second) trimester the fetus is not yet sufficiently developed to experience pain or sensation; nor is it viable, capable of surviving outside the womb until the end of the second trimester. To the rabbinic eye, it is more like water than person in its first months.

As the issue of the “ensoulment” of a human being was a matter of interest to early Catholic church fathers:

Even the earliest Christian Church, the progenitors of Roman Catholicism today, did not view all abortions as a crime. Indeed, many of the early church fathers -- and I emphasize that gender -- did not believe that abortion raised any substantial moral questions until the moment of ensoulment, which many scholars believe was 30 days after the conception of a male and 60 days after the conception of a female. But the idea of fundamentalist Christian and Catholic doctrine indicating that abortion is murder is a theological accretion. It's not something that is an imperative of scripture.

End of helpful driftglass aside.

Gannon continues...

As I pointed out to Mr. Wallis, the RLC's literature is a recitation of leftist talking points with a bit of scripture thrown in. Jesus didn't have anything to say about a phased withdrawal of U. S. troops from Iraq or global warming as the RLC would have people believe.

You remember Jeffy Gannon, right? Republican Gay Hooker. GOP leak conduit. Fake Reporter. Working for a Fake Agency. Under a Fake Name.

And lest we forget, despicably posturing as a Fake Marine.

Well, for those of you who have gotten your media lobotomies freshly detailed and have no recollection whatever of Gannon, or Scott McClellan, or what you had for dinner eleven minute ago, this summary of L’Affaire Gannon by Susie Bright was one of the more exquisitely written on the Web.

"Aggressive Verbal Dominant Top" Seeks Submissive Male Who Can Reinstate White House Press Pass”

Today I read a new interview with James Guckert, the gay S/M hooker who changed his name to the more butch “Jeff Gannon,” and posed as a journalist in the White House Press Corps, “reporting” for a fake news site. That rascal!

Gannon got hand-fed by the Bushies like he was their very own pet peacock. One day, some of Jeff's colleagues in the press box finally crawled out of their slumber and said, “Whoa, he's weird— Who is this dude?”

If I sound disdainful of how the mainstream media is handling Jeff’s expose, perhaps I’m just fed up with being bewildered.

It’s been a good month since anyone with a browser and a minute to spare has been able to see pictures of Gannon’s shaved erection on his live out-call web ad.

But on Sunday the New York Times, continuing the curious timidity of every other paper of record, played down this man’s true identity once again! In the NYT magazine interview, Deborah Solomon wrote that Gannon “apparently earned [his] living running a gay escort service.”

Apparently? Used to? This is the man’s entire past, present, and future!

As for “running a service,” where’s the reception desk? Are we supposed to infer that Gannon fills out employee time cards like the Mayflower Madam? No sirree— Jeff Gannon has been a one-man hot military beat-your-ass stud, and the only thing he runs is a carefully honed sales pitch. He is one discrete, butch, jarhead whore— and the only thing that is “apparent” is that he is one of the best, according to his customer reviews.

When I talk to my friends, I find that many don't know who Guckert is. Sometimes they've heard that some weirdo infiltrated the White House Press Corps by mistake. Maybe they heard he was right wing, or that he entertained Scott McClellan with sycophant questions that bordered on, "Why is George Bush the greatest president who ever lived?”

But so what? — Isn’t it just more of the same? Are we expected to get outraged over every Red State cheerleader?

If you’ve also heard that Gannon is gay, you probably know that he has written anti-gay marriage material, and smeared John Kerry for trying to be a “gay president.” Hmm... so he’s a self-hating pathological mutant. We’ve become so accustomed to it— yawn. Or maybe we’re just numb since Janet waved her nipple at us. Gosh, the press devoted so much attention to that sex scandal, they’d surely go apeshit if Gay Nazis took over the White House, wouldn't they?
…

Which is, among other things, one more example of why I read Ms. Susie Bright.

Of course, the MSM never went apeshit. Or Teacup Poodleshit. Or even Parameciumshit. As with virtually all of the First Order Hypocrisies of the Bush White House, the mainstream press gave The Gannon Thing a very conspicuous pass on any serious coverage whatsoever.

Yes, Jeffy Gannon was all those things Ms. Bright notes so eloquently and yet, somehow, he is the really, really, for-real Christian and people like me are not.

Another textbook example Dental-Dam Conservativism.

Another morally-polluted failure of a human being who slips the Radically Abridged Bible Wingnut in his mouth and believes that magically protects him from getting drooling duplicity all over his Fake Marine Dress Blues as he can angrily hectors Liberals on their godliness shortcomings.

Manwhore Jeff goes on to scold Democrats as having “driven away people of faith” through our devotion to abortion and “an unholy alliance with the anti-Christian ACLU.”

A typically sweeping, Christopath indictment of all people whose tongues don’t reek of James Dobson’s sulphurous prostate. Leaving only the Truly Righteous to keep God company, bring Him cocoa, conduct His Illegal Wars, ram through His Billionaire Tax Cuts and fuck over His useless Poor.

Leaving only Onwardly Marching Christian Fake Soldiers like Jeffy Gannon.

And people like this guy.


To which one can only add to Penn Gillette's cogent conspectus of this breed of assholery a loud and clear, " Let the People of God Say Amen! "