The vivacious Ms. Res Ipsa Loquitur

Published the following Universal Troll Rosetta Stone in the comments over ta' Atrios’ place.

And since he is slow and I am tiny and nimble, I got a salvage team over to Eschaton hurry-up-quick and had them bring it to the surface, pack it in nitrogen gel to prevent deterioration and air freight it over here.

Hey, it tickled me.

And it’s also so sadly true. It’s why I focus whatever wee dram of outrage I have on the few, remaining moderates that still fingernail-cling to the blood-sodden hull of Bush's Pequod of State as it goes plunging madly over the edge of the world. Because there really is no point in talking to the majority of people who still self-identify as hardcore Bush Backers any longer -- they have four pounds of “E”-grade (“bull/stag carcasses with pronounced masculinity”) coarse-ground mulerump between their ears, and simply do not have anything I could honestly define as a “mind” left to change.

Plug in any topic – Iraq, Democrats, the economy, the Constitution, Dubya, the phases of the Moon, Vietnam, arch supports, hen teasing, what killed Vaudeville, who wrote the book of love, why does the caged bird sing...anyfuckingthing – and the lights on their vacuum tube firmware go blinky-blink, and this pre-recorded galvanic-reflex-feedback loop is what comes reeling out of their pie-holes.

It’s not that they “believe” any of this, any more than my egg timer “believes” in counting down to “ding”.

It's just that these people have debased themselves to the point where I barely recognize our species similarities anymore. They have allowed themselves to become little more that pliantly re-programmable meat in the service of evil men: Yawping and barking and quacking out whatever insensible syllables they are told to repeat in whatever order they are told to repeat them.

And if the Received Wingnut Wisdom of Today inverts and annihilates the Gospel of Yesterday, they notice it no more than my spiffy Sharper Image Talking Alarm Clock notices that I’ve reset it for 5:15 instead of 5:00.

This is what passes for mission and “purpose” down among the hatefully stupid.

I do not see any hope for them, and Hell, I am eternal friggin’ optimist.

Anyway, take it away, res...

blah blah blah clinton got a blow job blah blah blah howard dean is mean blah blah blah something about negroes blah blah blah some people say cindy sheehan is a crack whore blah blah blah michael moore is fat blah blah blah he mean "mohawk" not "macaca" blah blah blah frist never diagnosed schiavo blah blah blah santorum never said democrats were "assasinating judges" blah blah blah nagin never ordered the buses blah blah blah let the free market work its magic blah blah blah liberals will form a fifth column in their decadent coastal enclaves blah blah blah kos commands all blah blah blah atrios' real name is "duncan" blah blah blah soros is a jewish name blah blah blah if you write "ann althouse" backwards, in greek, 17,354 times in 59 minutes with a cereulean crayola crayon on a piece of bluestone and then allow rain to pour on the bluestone for exactly 36 seconds a secret code will be revealed that will show us the date, time and location at which we will reach the turning point in iraq.

© 2006, res ipsa loquitur