Twelve Angry (Lieber)Men

How dare you stand against the mob?

Rent a hall; there are hundreds of them right here in Chicago that would do just fine.

Assemble your players.

Cast Al Gore as Juror 8. Or Russ Feingold. Or Paul Krugman. There are a lot of veteran actors who have played this part.

Juror 3 is easy: the Right is amply stocked with thousands of eager goons slavering to chew right on through the scenery and gobble up half the planet.

Of course from Coulter’s overtly homicidal psychosis, to Cheney’s palpably loathsome reprise of the Baron Harkonen, to Kristol’s signature Baby-faced Franco moves, to Brooks’ soft-pedaled Pastel-Pinocchio-Pinochet delivery, each will modulate the part a little differently. And if they’re booked, hell, just grab a random Red State Congresscritter, a Lieberman (get 'em while you can), a Christopath Pulpit Jockey or Fox News Weasel and you're still golden.

Scatter the rest of the political spectrum between them – there’s plenty of good lines for everyone from Murtha to McCain.

Then take your seats as the house lights dim, and the curtain rises on a small, hot room called America:

Because on issue after issue -- but most especially and tragically the lies and denial and fury that accompanied each phase of the Iraq Debacle -- this it how it begins.

This it how it always begins.

With no one wanting to buy what you’re selling.

Juror #8: I just want to talk.

Juror #7: Well, what's there to talk about? The Majority thinks we’re right. Have you seen the polls? No one had to think about it twice except you.

Juror #10: I want to ask you something: do you believe we have failed? That we were lied to?

Juror #8: I don't know whether I believe it or not - maybe I don't.

Juror #7: So how come you vote to end the War?

Juror #8: Well, there were eleven votes for going on with no plan or end in sight. It's not easy to raise my hand and send more kids off to die without talking about it first.

Juror #7: Well now, who says it's easy?

Juror #8: No one.

Juror #7: What, just because I voted fast? I honestly think we can win! Couldn't change my mind if you talked for a hundred years.

Juror #8: I'm not trying to change your mind. It's just that... we're talking about life and death and our country’s future here. We can't decide it in five minutes. Supposing we're wrong?

Juror #7: Supposing we're wrong! Supposing this whole building should fall down on my head. You can suppose anything!

Juror #8: That's right.
…

Juror #8: I just think we owe the other side of this question a few words, that's all.

Juror #10: I don't mind telling you this, mister: we don't owe these Iraqis a thing. They got a fair deal, didn't they? What do you think this war has cost? They’re lucky they got half of what we’ve given them. Know what I mean? Now, look - we're all grown-ups in here. We heard the facts, didn't we? You're not gonna tell me that we're supposed to believe these ay-rabs, knowing what they are. Listen, I've seen ‘em all my life - you can't believe a word they say, you know that. I mean they're born liars.

Juror #9: Only an ignorant man can believe that.

Juror #10: Now, listen...

Juror #9: Do you think you were born with a monopoly on the truth? I think certain things should be pointed out to this man.

The Reasonable Man begins at the beginning. With First Causes. Being conspicuously honest about his doubts and limitations, but asking basic questions that should have been asked by others in nicer suits with better titles from the beginning.

And even though everyone turns their backs,



the cardinal virtue of the jury room is that no one can completely shut you up or shut you out.

If you’re persistent, and if you can stand being mocked and ignored by all the legions of wise men and pundits and Pharisees who have the entire government and press at their command, you can make yourself heard.

Not believed. Not at first anyway. But heard.

Juror #8: According to the testimony, Iraq looked pretty dangerous... maybe they were. I sat there and watched for days, listening while the evidence built up. Everybody sounded so positive, you know, I... I began to get a peculiar feeling about this War. I mean nothing is that positive. There're a lot of questions I'd have liked to ask. I don't know, maybe they wouldn't have meant anything, but... I began to get the feeling that the media wasn't conducting a thorough enough cross-examination. I mean they... they let too many things go by... little things that...

Juror #10: What little things? Listen, when these news guys don't ask questions it's because they know the answers already and they figure they'll just look stupid and disloyal.

Juror #8: Maybe. It's also possible for a reported to be just plain gutless and stupid, isn't it? I mean it's possible
.
Juror #7: You sound like you met my brother-in-law.

The Reasonable Man asks to have the stakes clearly articulated. Who insists that if you’re the one screaming about going to war, you are the one who is obligated to be precise, factual and right.

Juror #3: You're talking about that "pre-war intelligence". And I'm telling you, nobody can be that accurate.

Juror #8: Well I think that testimony that can put a boy into a grave or cost him his legs SHOULD be that accurate.

The Republicans value Loyalty over Truth, so they scream that asking questions is tantamount to treason.

Of course this is because they know their lies cannot stand up to scrutiny. And since they have completely invested themselves, not in pursuing the truth but in Being Right, everything they value will rot at the seams and fly apart if they’re wrong.

They’re terrified…so they pump up the volume.

Juror #3: Look, you voted for War. What side are you on?

Juror #11: I don't believe I have to be loyal to one side or the other. I'm simply asking questions.

Then, slowly, doubts emerge. Solid, everybody-knows “fact” dissolve as the underlying assumptions on which they were built are shown to be rotten or false or bigoted or delusional.

That’s when the rage of the Righteous Right begins to boil…



…and the secret, ugly motivators that had hidden behind Patriotism like rats behind a dumpster start to scuttle into view.

Juror #10: I don't understand you people! I mean all these picky little points you keep bringing up. They don't mean nothing. You saw these ay-rabs just like I did. You're not gonna tell me you believe their phony excuses. Look, you know how these people lie! It's born in them! I mean what the heck? I don't have to tell you. They don't know what the truth is! And lemme tell you, they don't need any real big reason to kill someone, either! No sir!

[Five gets up from his seat]

Juror #10: They get crazy on that Koran stuff... oh, they're real martry-lunatics, all of 'em - you know that - and bang: someone's lyin' in the gutter. Oh, nobody's blaming them for it. That's the way they are! By nature! You know what I mean? VIOLENT!

Juror #10: [Nine rises and crosses to the window] Where're you going?

Juror #10: Human life don't mean as much to them as it does to us!
[Eleven gets up and walks to the other window]

Juror #10: Look, they're all shithouse rat crazy and fighting all the time and if somebody gets killed, so somebody gets killed! They don't care! Oh, sure, there are some good things about 'em, too. Look, I'm the first one to say that.
[Eight gets up and walks to the nearest wall]

Juror #10: I've known a couple who were OK, but that's the exception, y'know what I mean?
[Two and Six get up from the table. Everyone's back is to Ten]

Juror #10: Most of 'em, it's like they have no feelings! They can do anything! What's goin' on here? I'm trying to tell you... you're makin' a big mistake, you people! These people are liars! I know it. I know all about them! You need to listen to Rush. To listen to Hannity. To listen to Robertson. Listen to me! They're no good! There's not a one of 'em who is any good! I mean, what's happening in here? I'm speaking my piece, and you...
[the Foreman gets up and walks away. So does Twelve]

Juror #10: Listen to me. We're... These “detainees” for example... their type, well, don't you know about them? There's a, there's a danger here. So what if we torture ‘em? We have to show them who’s boss! These people are dangerous. They're wild. Listen to me. Listen.

Juror #4: I have. Now sit down and don't open your mouth again.

Wingnut rage rises as they feel their Empire of Lies and their Forever War slipping away from them…

Juror #10: 37% approval rating... I'm telling you, some of you people in here must be out of your minds. Fanatics like these...

Juror #9: I don't think their religion or whether or not they like us has anything to do with it. The facts are supposed to determine the case.

Juror #10: Don't give me that. I'm sick and tired of facts! You can twist 'em anyway you like, you know what I mean?

Juror #9: That's exactly the point this gentleman has been making.
[indicates Juror #8]
...


Juror #3: ASSUMED? Brother, I've seen all kinds of dishonesty in my day, but this little display takes the cake. Y'all come in here with your hearts bleedin' all over the floor about sand n*ggers and injustice; you listen to some fairy tales; suddenly you start gettin' through to some of these old ladies... well, you're not getting through to me, I've had enough! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU GUYS? You all know they’re guilty. They’ve got to burn! You're letting them slip through our fingers.

Juror #8: Slip through our fingers? Are you his executioner?

Juror #3: I'm one of 'em!

Juror #8: Perhaps you'd like to pull the switch?

Juror #3: For these people? You bet I would! A million of ‘em. Ten million. A billion. They’re all bad. They’re all guilty.

Juror #8: I feel sorry for you... what it must feel like to want to pull the switch.
[baiting him]

Juror #8: Ever since you walked into this room, you've been acting like a self-appointed public avenger! You want to see them die because you personally want it, not because of the facts! You're a sadist!

[Three lunges wildly at Eight, who holds his ground. Several jurors hold Three back]

Juror #3: I'll kill him! I'LL KILL HIM!

Juror #8: You don't *really* mean you'll kill me, do you?

And then, at last, the tide of facts becomes unstoppable.

All the furtive hatreds and clandestine pathologies that have Rushed us into War lay naked and eviscerated on the table, and a cooling, sobering reminder of what America is really supposed to stand for in the world has swept back through the room.

And the one who once led the mob stands exposed.



Blogging away.

Howling his bile over Hate Radio.

Sniveling out his column for the New York Times.

Snarling out lies on Fox.

Sniping and dissembling and cowering behind a podium that bears the Seal of the President of the United States.

Of just telling his closet skinhead buddies over a beer that we should just nuke all a’ them sand n*iggers and have done with it.

Juror #7: Well, what do we do now?

Juror #7: [to #3] You're alone.

Juror #3: I don't care whether I'm alone or not! It's my right.

Juror #8: It's your right.

Juror #3: Well, what do you want? I say he's guilty.

Juror #8: We want to hear your arguments.
Juror #3: I gave you my arguments!

Juror #8: We're not convinced. We want to hear them again. We have as much time as it takes.

Juror #3: Everything... every single thing that took place in the last five years, but I mean everything... says they’re guilty. What d'ya think? I'm an idiot or somethin'? Why don't cha take that stuff about the WMDs; they were there! Or this business about the yellowcake! What, 'cause the documents were forged doesn’t prove it wasn’t there. There were training camps. 9/11! 9/11! We need to kill ‘em. Kill ‘em all before they kill us! What's the difference what the “facts” were now anyway? We’re in and we’re in all the way. Every single thing. You can't PROVE they’re not going to attack us! Sure, you can show that maybe some people we tortured say they’re not terrorists, but you can't PROVE it! I'm tellin' ya: every thing that's gone on has been twisted... and turned. This business with the Plame lady. How do you know she wasn’t a rat? The President said…everybody that wasn’t with us was against us! And the President wouldn’t lie: only Liberal President’s lie! And what about those wiretaps... huh? I'm tellin' ya, I've got all the facts here...

[His brown shirt and Bible taped open to Leviticus spill out on the floor]

Juror #3: Ah. Well, that's it - that's the whole case!
[He turns towards the window as the other jurors stare at him]

Juror #3: Well... say something! You lousy bunch of bleedin' hearts. You're not goin' to intimidate me –

Juror #3: I'm entitled to my opinion!

So who said the theater is dead?