Attorney General Mango

tries to work his witchy powers on the Senate Judiciary Committee.

Today, during the Bush Domestic Wiretap Scandal Hearings, America’s Top Lawyer -- Arch Weasel Alberto Gonzalez -- spent the day simultaneously insisting on the following (more or less):

1. The President has Magic Imperial Power to do whatever the fuck he wants by Divine Right, as well as legislative and Constitutional intent.

2. That even though the Supreme Court told him he couldn’t spy on Americans, Bush’s Magic Imperial Power superceded even that of the Republican Supreme Court on matters of the interpreting the Constitution. So a big “Fuck You” shouted out to The Supremes.

3. That Congress actually gave him Magic Imperial Power, even though they didn’t know it and told him "No" when he asked.

4. That Congress actually couldn’t have been asked to give him Magic Imperial Power because that have tipped off the terrorists.

5. That Congress was consulted on the Magic Imperial Powers thing.

6. That Congress wasn’t consulted on the Magic Imperial Powers thing because the Preznit already had their approval -- even though they didn’t know it, and has already told him “No” when he sorta hinted that he wanted to spy on Americans without oversight or warrents -- and already had the legal authority – even though the Supremes had told him No Fucking Way.

To anyone who pays attention, this is the same “When the Preznit is caught lying, throw everything you can lay your hands on at the wall and go with what sticks” tactic the GOP pulls out of the Rove Trick Bag every time Dubya gets caught wiping his bee-hind with the Bill of Rights.

Which is to say, weekly. These days they keep a copy of this playbook -- open and with key parapgraphs hilighted -- on their desks because, in case you hadn’t noticed, the lies are now flying thicker, faster and more desperately than at any point in the last five years.

So, for example, this is identical in every way to the Mighty Morphin’ Casus Belli that has been under continual contruction-destruction-reconstruction-further-down-the-block-“To serve you better!” flight from the original WMD lies the Administration told to get us into Iraq in the first place.

Also the “cost of the war” lies. The Social Security lies.

The “What insurgency?” lies. The “Last throes” lies.

The “Dude, I thought you had the exit strategy?!” lies. The “We do not torture!” lies.

So many, many lies.

Of course, the Republicans are a Party divided: on the one hand, you have the congenital liars, thieves, bumblefuckers and traitors that actually operate the Party.

On the other hand you have the Lindsey Graham wing of the Party (Well, not “wing” exactly. They’re mostly extinct by now. More like the “Leftmost Pinfeather” of the Party.) The liveried chauffeurs of the criminals who run the show, who dutifully drive the getaway cars but occasionally grumble under their breath about how it shouldn’ta, oughtn’ta be this way.

And sometimes their peevish mumblings – the whispery ghosts of long-dead Conservative Consciences struggling to communicate with the world of the living -- are overheard by their masters in the back seat, and which point Cheney or Rove or Frist has them pull the car over, get out, and strip to their skin.

That’s when the bag of oranges comes out.

And after the beating – GOP obedience hierarchy restored and clearly reinforced – what’s left of the Moderate Republican will shamble back behind wheel (shitting blood all over the nice, Cordovan leather upholstery) and drive their Masters over to the Smithsonian for a midnight Founding Documents bonfire and weenie roast.

The Dems knocked some heads today but good, but of equal interest was the GOP's behavior.

Whatever their mood of the moment, from Jeff Sessions' loud protestations of his undying adoration of all things fascist, to Arlen Specter's performance as the cuckolded suitor for Mango's affections -- full of poll-tested ire, but unwilling to even put the AG under oath -- one thing is clear:

The GOP

loves their little Mango.