Friday, January 20, 2006

I’m not a liar.


Just look at my cute puppy!

And the special Golden Globe, “Republican Cloth Coat” Award goes to…

Jack Abramoff’s Daddy, who got mad that he raised a criminal sleazebag, and that someone finally noticed, and that George Clooney decided to mention his son’s massive, self-inflicted wounds on teevee.

Or was it that Jack's Daddy left the hardwood and ran into the stands to beat the crap out of some fan he thought was taking a poke at his son?

Man, I gotta get more sleep.

Anyway, read the whole thing and see if you agree that the only thing missing is a little dog named Checkers (although it does have "...my sweet 12-year-old granddaughter).

No need for editorializing here: this one comes with batteries included and is entirely self-parodying,…

Frank Abramoff’s open letter to George Clooney

Oh how far Hollywood has fallen. When you rose to accept the Golden Globes best actor award earlier this week, you decided to take a gratuitous slap at my son, my family and even my dear departed father. Is this the tradition of Gable, Bogart, Pacino and Burton? Are you the heir to the dignity and greatness of Hollywood's past, or more likely a portent to a depressing and horrific future?

Your glib and ridiculous attack on my son, Jack, coupled with your obscene query as to the choice his mother and I made in naming him, brought shame and dishonor on you and your profession. What drove you to this lapse in lucidity, I can never know, but you need to know that your words were deeply hurtful to many innocent and decent people who love my son and who cherish our family.

We have had to endure two years of unmitigated, outrageous falsehood directed at my son and his record of achievement on behalf of his clients and friends. The bloodthirsty media, guilty of untold character assassinations during contemporary times, have even outdone themselves in their lust to create a cartoon which does not come close to resembling this fine man, my son.

The fact that you would spend those few moments accorded to you, as an honor for your work as an actor, bashing his name and his family, is astonishing. How do you sleep at night, other than perhaps with the drink, which you lamented not having at that early hour. Funny, it was very hard for us little people in television land to tell whether you had indulged in the bottle or not.

My son was named after my beloved departed father. His name, too, was Jack Abramoff. And, were he alive today, would be standing firmly behind his namesake, as his entire family and many more true friends than you will ever know.

Not that it matters to you, I am sure, but the worst part of your tirade is that it played out in front of many young people, including my sweet 12-year-old granddaughter, one of Jack's five children. Jack did not waste his time watching the garbage spewing from your mouth, but his daughter did. You drove her to a fit of tears. Are you proud of that?

For four generations, our family has worked hard to serve this country we love. I enlisted as a young man of seventeen into the United States Navy, so I could serve my nation in WWII. My brother did the same, and we both served in South Pacific. My son dedicated his life to patriotic and religious causes, which have made this nation great. He gave unsparingly of his time and resources to help those in need.

You spend your days ridiculing our nation and our traditions. You mock those who serve our nation and its flag. You revile my son and publicly try to humiliate him in front of a national audience. I have news for you George Clooney — one day the truth about my son will come out and there will be a lot of people in your industry and others lined up to apologize for their efforts to destroy him and our family. You won't be in that line, though, because the plague of arrogance and falsehood will surely continue to blind your eyes and cause your tongue to disgrace the parents who brought you onto the earth.

One wonders how your father would respond, were the roles re versed. One wonders whether your children would delight in someone lampooning your name and besmirching your reputation. You have brought yourself to a low unparalleled by the greats of your profession. Shame on you.

FRANK ABRAMOFF

Rancho Mirage, Calif.

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

I feel for his dad. He raised a lousy, unpatriotic kid

January 19, 2006 -- With reports of over 200 contacts between convicted GOP lobbyist Jack Abramoff and the Bush White House, there is also renewed interest in what "neighbor" Abramoff was referring to in his July 28, 2003 letter, written on Greenberg Traurig LLP stationery, to Gabon's President Omar Bongo concerning a proposed visit to the White House by the oil-rich African dictator. Abramoff was paid $9 million by Bongo for arranging the visit. Abramoff is no stranger to representing African dictators. His clients have included the late Zaire (Congo) strongman Mobutu Sese Seko and Angola's assassinated rebel leader Jonas Savimbi. Indicted White House aide David Safavian, an Abramoff associate, also represented Bongo.

In his letter to Bongo, Abramoff states:

"I have been cautiously working to obtain a visit for the President . . . to see President Bush, the Congress and policy and opinion makers in the United States. As you know, we were, in advance of the war in Iraq, able to secure a tentative date for this meeting, however, the war cancelled all such scheduled visits, with the exception of the critical US war allies.

Since the time of the war, we have been discussing a rescheduling of the meeting.

Our firm was approached by a neighboring nation which also desired such a meeting, and indeed much more than a meeting. Of course, our firm's main strength is not in just setting up meetings, but in changing and impacting US policy, so to the neighbor, the meeting is important, but merely the tip of the iceberg.

The neighbor has offered to put up the resources which are necessary to not only secure a meeting, but more importantly, to commence a policy effort in Washington which could impact America's Africa policy in limited ways. These resources are substantial and would be used to build a support network for the neighbor which would enable the decision makers to move the neighbor up on the priority list. . . .

I suggested that I visit Gabon after my trip to Scotland in mid August, but that in order for me to preserve this and be able to turn down the neighbor's offer, we had to commence the representation, even in small part, perhaps ten percent . . . . Please bear in mind that the neighbor's proposal was to pay the entire amount up front."

According to informed sources in Washington, the "neighbor" referred to by Abramoff was oil-rich Equatorial Guinea, run by brutal dictator Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo. In March 2004, South African and Zimbabwean forces foiled a coup attempt by British and South African mercenaries against Obiang. Later, Mark Thatcher, the son of Margaret Thatcher, pleaded guilty to his involvement in the coup in a South African court. Abramoff has close links to friends and associates of Margaret Thatcher, having helped arrange meetings between her and GOP officials. It was revealed that senior British, Spanish, and American defense and intelligence officials, including Bush administration officials Michael Westphal and Theresa Whelan, were involved in the coup plot. Amid rumors that Washington wanted Obiang out of power, Obiang wanted to make a pitch for friendlier contacts with the Bush administration. Hence, the outreach to Abramoff. But Obiang also had close financial links to the now-defunct Riggs Bank, a bank for which George W. Bush's uncle, Jonathan Bush, served as a senior official over a number of years.

Shortly before the March 2004 coup attempt, Obiang was abruptly told to close his Riggs account during a visit to the bank in Washington and Obiang's Riggs' account manager Simon Kareri was subsequently fired by the bank and his computer and files were seized at his home by FBI agents. It was discovered that Riggs and Obiang were involved in an Obiang-run slush fund called Abayak SA that received and paid out large sums of cash for various "services."


Jonathan Bush ran a New Haven, Connecticut-based Riggs subsidiary called J. Bush & Co., a money management firm that later morphed into Riggs Investment Management Company (RIMCO). Federal investigators discovered that Riggs set up phony and deceptive accounts and dummy corporations in off-shore locations like the Bahamas. Riggs was caught up in the Russian Mafia money laundering scandal through its stake in a Channel Islands company called Valmet. That scandal involved jailed Russian oil tycoon Mikhail Khodorkovsky and the Bank of New York scandal involving key Russian Mafia figures tied to various Abramoff business dealings, including gambling casinos and Internet gambling. In May 2005, after Khodorkovsky and his partner Platon Lebedev were convicted of tax evasion and fraud by a Russian court and sentenced to nine years in prison, George W. Bush immediately came to the defense of these Russian Mafia kingpins.

Cee

Anonymous said...

Clooney ought to fire back an open letter to the criminal's father along the lines of well, Jeez, at least Hickley's Pop had the self-awareness to keep his yammer shut tight.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the dad, overwrought as he may have been.
Clooney's 'humor' was a gratuitous cheap shot that did smear the family.... and for what? So he could score a few points with his peers and self-congratulate for being a liberal? People like to 'pile on' in this society; witness the usual comments in Driftglass. There is a certain smugness that goes along with that attitude, whether it be on the left or the right. So while it's easy to jump in and take a few shots, is that any different then the clones who call into Limbaugh with their 'mega dittoes, Rush'? Just wondering...

Anonymous said...

If George lies down with pigs like Jack ...off did then his kids should be embarassed too. Thusfar he apparently hasn't. Jack...off learned real well from his parents and grandparents.

pablo

driftglass said...

Billy Guilfoyle,

Pile on? Are you shitting me?

After smiling and playing Nice Guy while these social carnivores punched our Nice Guy teeth down our throats?

They are thugs. Thugs understand a 2X4 upside the head.

A lot of American have no friggin’ idea who Dirty Jack, which is a pathetic shame. If a few hundred or thousand more know who he is and that that Nice Mr. Clooney thinks he’s a bastard, good.

As to sucker-punching dirtbags, I would love to have an honest, open discussion without ad homenim attacks. About anything. But we don’t.

We had an era when we tried. It was called “The ‘90s”. It was dominated by a merciless, seven-year Total War on the Clinton White House. It was the Age of Rush. The Age of Newt and his “Keep calling Dems yellow traitors and cowards at every opportunity.”

Maybe you remember it? Impeachment? "Hillary murdered Vince Foster?" Bill Clinton's black baby(s)?

It was a campaign of smear, smear and more smear that continues on right up to the Swiftboating of Kerry and the smearing of Murtha. And because we didn’t take it seriously – or think people would actually fall for such blatantly Orwellian nonsense -- we got our asses kicked.

Well that’s over.

Thing is, they really are douchbags. Their Dear Leader really is a liar and creep and a criminal. Their Party Leadership really are corrupt beyond measure, and the “social conservatives” that prop them up really are assholes who defile Christ every time the open their lie-puckers to blame 9/11 on feminists and the ACLU.

And I have no problem with them FINALLY being called out on their wretched and vile behavior in public.

Fuck ‘em; when they tell Rush and Falwell, Roberston and Rove, Dobson and Hannity, Newt and Coulter, Malkin and Santorum, and the rest of their Chorus of Damned souls to SHUT THE FUCK UP and quite sliming up the joint, I will happily call for détente.

But until the people that started this knife fight drop their weapons, forget it.

I’m only sorry that Clooney didn’t call him a pigfucker to boot.

Anonymous said...

So in other words, it's just like the riddle about George's first three words. Any critique of someone on the left (and a teeny tiny critique it was) gets met with a foaming rant of 'but look what those fuckers have done...those assholes.... the gloves are off'
All I said was that Clooney took a gratuitious cheap shot and that people like to pile on.

And yeah, your flock does like to pile on. You're a great preacher, and it's a great choir, and maybe people get their rocks off by trying to outdo one another with their outrage. But it becomes a one-trick pony, predictable, fulminating and, dare I say it, effete. Don't get me wrong, I'm in agreement with the politics of this blog. I hate the fuckers too. I was just never too good in choir...

Anonymous said...

Amen.

Anonymous said...

...wellll. Amen driftglass.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Guilfoyle means well, but he's naive.

"...or think people would fall for such blatantly Orwellian nonsense..."
Drifty may have hit upon the single biggest problem of the Left. As small-d democrats, we tend to believe in the wisdom and good will of the average citizen, but the success of the Elephascists suggests strongly that human beings are basically dull-witted and/or mean-spirited. I don't know the answer to this problem.

Anonymous said...

Frank Abramoff ought to show some class and write a letter to the tribal chiefs of the various Indian peoples his son has been accused of hoodwinking and apologize to them. Frank Abaramoff 'doth protest too much'.

jurassicpork said...

AH ha ha ha ha ha! Wish IU'd seen that coming, or I would've watched out for the good George.

Of course, poor Frank suffers from Abramoff's Syndrome (or CRS in medical parlance). It afflicts fifty million Republicans a year and we need your help in combatting this dreaded disease.

Can't Remember Shit has reached near pandemic proportions and we need your help. I'm sponsoring a telethon this coming Monday and every hit that I get will be matched with a dollar. Hopefully, if I continue getting over 1000 hits a day as I have this week, we'll have enough money to send these poor afflicted people to Leavenworth where they can be treated and regain their memories.

Please give generously.

Anonymous said...

The main difference between that and the Checkers speech is that, in 1952, there was still some question of guilt.

An Angry Old Broad said...

Perhaps,Jack,being a father of five,oughta think about how his actions will come down on his kids,you know,like BEFORE he acts.He dug his own freaking trench,and while I hate to see any kid be fucked over because their parents are fuck ups,in the end,it's better that they know the truth.Even if it's not pretty.Someday those kids will be pissed at dear old dad if they aren't lied to and sheltered.

Jack and his buddies found a huge cash cow and milked it without one iota of conscience or giving a shit about who got hurt in the process.They lied,stole,used charity as a front to launder money and circumvented government in the process.And now we're supposed to feel bad because people are skewering him in public?Where's the sympathy for the people who were stolen from?And will they ever see a dime of that money again?

Being"nice"is what allowed this mess to grow and spread and become cancerous in the first place.The time for nice and polite discourse with people who lie and backstab every chance they get is long past.

I've had my ass kicked.More than once.I took it for awhile,turn the other cheek and all that rot.But the beatings didn't end until I punched and kicked in return,and that is where we find ourselves now.Defending yourself and messing with your attacker is NOT the same as starting the fight in the first place.And Jackie Boy CHOSE this path for himself,willingly.He deserves scorn,ridicule and to be publicly shamed,it's a small price for what he helped perpetrate.

Lindsay Stewart said...

poor, poor frank abramoff, son and father of jack .....off. this surely points out the heartless, vile spirit that characterizes the left in america. how dare that monster, george clooney, dare to besmirch the good name of a noble american patriot? mr. clooney's masturbatory aside brought a 12 year old girl to tears. what a filthy cad this "actor" must be.

pig fucker jack, swindled, lied, smeared, and corrupted at the behest of his gop masters. it will be interesting to see what kind of deal he cuts. it will be more interesting to see who's back he's happy to stab, to stay out of the general population in the pen. and here's an open letter to frank:

dear mr. abramoff,
you raised a crooked shit and he carries your father's name. he is your son and you love him. to you he is a fine man. he is also an admitted felon and he has put his talents to use, by subverting the democracy of your once great nation. he will be spending a little time in jail, but not nearly enough.

as for the besmirching of names and reputaions, it is only too bad that casey sheehan isn't alive, to respond to even a few of the many conservatives who have dragged his mother's name through the filth. perhaps, when next you put pen to paper, you'll fire off a note to the families of representatives kerry and murtha. surely you can sympathise with the hurt caused by the campaigns of slander made against those men.

as a veteran, i imagine you can feel the pain of those warriors' kin, when they witnessed the vile pattern of attacks on their names and service. or perhaps you will put your pen down now, convinced of little jack's virtue and plan your schedule of visits to the big house. no parent wants to see their child come to harm. but maybe if you had raised him not to be a sinister, crooked bastard, peddling influence and dirty money, he'd be at liberty. no child wants to confront the fact that her father is a crook. jack won't be around much to guide his children as they grow, but that's his own fault, isn't it sir?

at the end of the day, i wonder how you sleep frank, knowing that the fruit of your loins is a criminal. knowing that he robbed native tribes and lied his way to influence. your child, sir is no better than a crack dealer. the drug he peddled was the most addictive and destructive of all, the drug of power. when all is said and done, the only person who soiled the fine name of jack abramoff, is jack abramoff, just another scumbag convict.

yours sincerely,
lazlo pink

merlallen said...

But he fought in WWII and so did his brother. So you are being meanies to pick on his poor pig fucking son. Because he's a vet you know.
and Fallafel Bill has a nephew in the Army so you can't pick on him. Because he has a non chickenhawk nephew.
And my wingnut FIL has a niece doing his Vietnam combat tour in Iraq. So I can't question his service. Because of his non chicken hawk niece.
Got it?

Anonymous said...

Driftie - after you lay Jack'off and his old man out in the gutter with that 2X4, can I fuck 'em up the ass with my gas-powered, auto-lubricated, ErotoRooter Neoconartist Buttfucker machine? Can I - huh, huh - can I???

PUHLEEEEZZZEEE!?!?

Anonymous said...

Nice smackdown Driftie. Liked it better than the original post, actually.

But you know, the other side is just so morally superior to us. *snerk*

Anonymous said...

Dear Frank,

So sorry about your kid turning out to be a complete turdsnorkle. It must be hard on you. I respect, and thank you for, your service in WWII. The greatest generation is well named. I wish your son had taken your example more to heart. I only hope now that he comes clean in a complete manner that allows the halls of Congress to dispatch the stench that's been hovering there for the last decade.
I feel for the daughter, but one of the perils of being thrust into the spotlight is recieving less than stellar reviews. Deal. Call it character building.
I understand your wanting to circle the wagons around your son, but he's already done the damage. He's been at the heart of the cabal who've been busy ratfucking the country you so bravely fought to preserve into an unrecognizable shell of its former self. I know it's hard to accept, but there it is. If you think what Clooney said is going to be the worst thing publically said about your progeny, you're sorely mistaken. That was nothing.
Pick up your life, move on, bring the boy some cookies while he's in jail. He screwed up in a huge way. If it weren't for the fact that he's rolling over on his buddies, you'd never see him as a free man again. Me? I'd just as soon see him, and his buddies, rot in hell.

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who finds it not at all surprising that this letter was written from a place called "Rancho Mirage"?

Oh, and as a mindless zombie slave of Driftglass, I hope liberals institute a Cheap Shot of the Day plan, if that's what it takes to get people's attention. If we're so damned squeamish we won't seize every opportunity to expose the likes of Abramoff, we deserve what he and cronies are doing to us.

Now, I will admit that I wish Clooney could have come up with a more elegantly phrased cheap shot, but that's just me. His time was limited and it sure sounded like one of those spur-of-the-moment things.

But we're talking about Abramoff, for God's sake! A man who's dedicated every waking moment of his ferally corrupt, fake-charity-scamming existence to turning us into peons of the one-party state. Frankly, I don't see how his relatives' hurt feelings weigh much in the balance.

Anonymous said...

...."he gave unsparingly of his time and resouces to help those in need......." and on the way screwed "Native Americans" out of millions .....but those stupid 'monkeys' deseved it , right Frank, does your grandaughter feel so very proud that her dad is a racist fuck .......

Anonymous said...

My real given name brought gails of laughter to classmates, gym teachers, and a fair number of freelance bullies.
I have a unique sensitivity to how words can hurt.
So fuck Jackoff Whackoff.
And his dad.

Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker said...

You're right; the open letter, much to my chargrin, is self-parodizing. Damn.

That said, I heard Jack has a sled named "Rosebud."

Anonymous said...

"One wonders how your father would respond, were the roles re versed."

One wonders how Jackie Boy's grandfather, if he were living, would like having a namesake grandson who's not only a cheap crook, but whines like a crybaby when he gets caught (or rather, has his father do his whining *for* him, which makes him an even worse chickenshit).

Jeez, and I thought *my* family was dysfunctional!

Anonymous said...

frank reminds me of the parents of Shiavo. BTW, I wonder if any of Jack-Off's money bought ole frank any goodies? In addition to true Native Americans that Jack-Off Ripped-Off, let us not forget the sweatshop workers of the Marianas (sic)that Jack had a big hand in abusing,, before feeling any pity for scumbag jack,or Frank, I imagine those men and women in ther sweatshops,, laboring away for the profit of teh Chosen Republican Few, are way ahead in the line,, at any rate, Is Frank a Southerner?,, cos he sure sounds like one, so full of himself and his beloved family name.

Anonymous said...

frank reminds me of the parents of Shiavo. BTW, I wonder if any of Jack-Off's money bought ole frank any goodies? In addition to true Native Americans that Jack-Off Ripped-Off, let us not forget the sweatshop workers of the Marianas (sic)that Jack had a big hand in abusing,, before feeling any pity for scumbag jack,or Frank, I imagine those men and women in ther sweatshops,, laboring away for the profit of teh Chosen Republican Few, are way ahead in the line,, at any rate, Is Frank a Southerner?,, cos he sure sounds like one, so full of himself that there not any room for anyone else,,

throw the book at the lot of 'em. And if Frank did take any goodies from Jack,, confiscate them and return them to the Real victims.

jurassicpork said...

A massive Assclowns of the Week is up and a day early. Click here. Just do it!

Still need encouragement? Let’s see who’s on the spit this week:

The FAA for overpaying by $32,000,000 a bus company evacuating NOLA flood victims without even looking at an itemized bill.

FEMA, for teaching children that terror and disaster can be fun.

Torquemada Gonzales for saying, What’s good for the Bubba is good for the Dubya.

Scotty McClellan for taking potshots at bloggers while having to be being fed old news by the press pool.

The House GOP, for its bold, yet transitional easing into campaign finance and lobbyist reform.

Bill Frist and Tom DeLay for taking proactive steps to promote capitalism.

Deborah Howell, for rewriting the ombudsman job description and its very definition.

Dick Cheney, for telling Osama bin Laden and the peace process, “Go fuck yourself!”

Frank Abramoff, for demonstrating that a father’s love can be blinder than Ray Charles in a dark room.

And the Dept. of Homeland Security, for ensuring that the terrorists will never win if they bomb our liquor stores and donut shops.

All this and much, much more!

jurassicpork said...

Drifty, wake up. HEY! Go here. Now.

The Koufax Award nominees for Best New Blog are up and you and I are up. I know I don't stand a chance a chance in hell against bloggers like you, Jane Hamsher and Bob Geiger but it's still cool to be in their company. Voting and commenting hasn't started at Wampum, yet, but this time is to be spent getting to know these newer blogs.

Lindsay Stewart said...

har, it seems i am a nominee in the best new blog category as well. bloody fine company, i must say. so here's my post on the matter:
koufax to grind

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