DeLay Tell’s Crowd,

“My Prison Husband is gonna have a wang thiiis big…”

There’s a lot of hooting and hollering about DeLay cutting-and-running from his House leadership fight, but don’t kill that bottle of absinthe just yet.

DeLay’s not leaving the House, nor is he taking responsibility for one, tiny, brown flake of the shitblizzard he worked so hard to create.

Then again, that’s exactly where I want his degenerate, fake-Christian self.

Had he resigned outright and gone into the mountains or something to fight on, he might have cleared the way for the GOP to begin the round-the-clock lie-a-thon to donkey-punch the MSM into believing that DeLay was some weird aberration, instead of what he is: the Poster Child for arrogant, overweening dungheap swaddled in scraps of flag-cloth and pages torn out of the Old Testament.

Where the defense of every reeking excess boils down to a baldly insane assertion such as, “No, Jesus would definitely want me to fuck these Native Americans out of their millions and then stab them in the back!”

Instead DeLay will stay right where he is, hulking down the corridors of power, trying to squeeze his gargantuan ego through Roy Blunts doorway with his fundraising and extortion apparatus fully intact. A ‘roid-raging Bull of a bullshitter rampaging through what remains of the GOP China shop as they try reeeeallly hard to both pretend they give baker’s fuck about “reform” while also trying reeeallly hard not to piss off the former Head Douchbag In Charge as he peers over their shoulders and reminds them of all that he has done for them in the past.

And the million kinds of misery he can visit on them in the future if they don’t remember who their Daddy is, title of no title.

So on second thought, go ahead and kill that bottle of absinthe. Instead of fading into the mists of our A.D.D. nation's memory, now Delay will remain exactly where he serves us best: as ten-tons of rotting dead albatross hanging around the neck of the GOP.

By refusing to either resign or STFU he now becomes a rusting drum of radioactive Christopathic waste, each and every day leaching ever more of his poison into the House Republican water table during this midterm election year…

…day after day after day.