Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Punk Fiction

Inspired by actual events, this noir thriller tells the story of what happens when a mob of fascists, bigots and Christopaths decide that the Constitution is for other people and let a couple of aging, punkass hit-men run the country...

Say "We need a warrant" again!

C'mon, say "We need a warrant" again!

We dare ya.

We double dare ya, motherfucker!

Say "We need a warrant" one more goddamn time!


E. Normus Johnson said...

Drifty, Drifty, you sick bastard... dammit, I'm sick, laughing like this makes me cough my fucking lungs out!

Shakespeare's Sister said...


jurassicpork said...

Possible lines from the first draft:

"Mmmm MMM! That is one tasty pretzel... (cough, hack, choke)"


"You know what they call a quarter pounder in France?"

"France? Who gives a fuck?"


"I was thinking of roaming the earth, you know, sort of like in Kung Fu."

"George, you did that for 55 years..."

oneslackmartian said...

Ain't no fuckin' ballpark neither. Now look, maybe Nixon’s method of wiretaps differs from mine, but, you know, wiretappin’ then, and wiretappin’ now, ain't the same fuckin' ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same fuckin' crime. Look, wiretaps don't mean shit.

gttim said...

"What country are you from?"

"What ain't no country I ever heard of. They speak English in what?"

"English motherf*cker, do you speak it?"

From here.

Anonymous said...

I prefer "Christofascists" to "Christopaths." Puts them on par with the "Islamofascists" they're always harping about.

Fade said...

Sam Jackson as Bush: "I Don't remember asking you a Goddamn Thing!"

Steve said...

I see you watch the Boondocks

driftglass said...

Nope. Never seen it. Like the column, though.

I coined it so I feel sort of obligated to beat it to death :-)

E. Normus Johnson and Shakespeare's Sister,
Thanks muchly.

Anonymous said...

Dude, that was smoove!

You rock, sir.

F'in Librul said...

"George, did you seen the sign in my front yard that says 'Dead Iraqi Storage"?

"Dick, c'mon, you know I didn't see no motherfuckin' sign."

"That's because storin' dead Iraqis isn't my fuckin' business!"

F'in Librul said...

Dick: Now cool your ass out. I'm sendin' Powell to the U.N directly.
George: You're sendin' Powell? Sheeit. That's all you had to say, motherfucker!

mr. g said...

Dick: Hey Pendejo hand me what's left of the Constitution I got a dingleberry.

W. Pendejo: No way I'm saving it for after when I blow Powell for lying his ass off.

Dick: No Pendejo you fucking jack off let me finish.

W. Pendejo: I said I was blowing him not pulling his crank.

Brad said...

That's some funkin' funny shiite!


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Horatio said...

I'm partial to "Christublicans" myself.

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