Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Do you know “Oh Come All Ye Faithful”?


No but if you hummer few bars…

‘Tis the season for iPod accessories. And just when you thought every possible sleeve, hardcase, FM Radio Base Station, leg-warmer, tune-cozy, lo-carb-wrap, digitally-carburated-one-hitter, and nose-puppy had been invented, packaged and marketed for MP3 players comes this from the good people people at Shiny Shiny.

Via Gizmodo

Audi-Oh iPod Vibrator

Here’s one for the ladies. The Audi-Oh audio vibrator buzzes in time to any music you run through its audio jack. Want a quickie? Plug in some polka. Want a long and luxurious barn burner? Try Gregorian chant interspersed with NIN. The possibilities are endless. You can even hit a club or go see the Boston Pops and pipe the live audio into your love flower.

I don’t think the world of audio-didonics has been sufficiently explored and this is really a step in the right direction. Soon women will no longer need us. They’ll just need a long train going by. It’s available for $69.95 at the aptly-named Grand Opening.

And just like that, the market for Whale Sound CDs skyrockets, and suddenly the stock-boys at Sam Goode have to use armed guards to get palette trucks (upcoming shameless homonym pun intended) of “The Sacred Tantric Chants of Tibetan Throat Singers” into the store.

So run, gentlemen (and certain ladies), do not walk. Remember, in the arena of pleasurification, technology is your friend, and there is still time before the War on Christmas is over and the January White Sale Armistice is signed to snag one of these for your wife, fiancé, lover, g-friend, significant other or sex buddy.

Because it may well hold the title of:

Best. Stocking. Stuffer. Ever.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Billboard magazine headline:

Surprises at Top of Charts!

Retailers expressed surprise at an inexplicable resurgence in the popularity of classical music at the retail counter.

"Right out of nowhere, people are lined up for stuff we never sell. I had three women asking for "Flight of the Bumblebee" before lunchtime," said Al Capella, a clerk at Virgin Records.

Tom Bohn, a bus driver, can verify that there has been a newfound interest in the music of Gioachino Rossini. "There was a lady on the bus this morning with headphones on real loud, and I could hear the William Tell Overture. She was really into it, too, because she kept yellling 'Hi Yo, Silver, Away' at the top of her lungs."

Other classics enjoying rebirth at the sales counter include Beethoven's Ninth Symphony and the 15 hour "Der Ring des Niebelungen", which retails for a cool $163.00. "Worth every damn penny," said one shopper as the Sam Goddy clerk wrapped up her 14-disc boxed set. "Now get the fuck out of my way. It's a three-day weekend and I don't want to waste it standing around a record store," said the anxious opera lover.

Anonymous said...

Oh, please stop! If I laugh any harder, I'm going to (a) wet myself and (b) convince everyone who's still left at the office that I've truly gone 'round the bend.

Bonnita said...

And they said the Furbie was going to be this years new hottest toy out on the market...somehow, I truly doubt it since I saw Santa and asked him for something a little more grown up! *grin*

Anonymous said...

I can see that I'm going to have to get out the bagpipes again.

driftglass said...

You people...;-)

Anonymous said...


relationship 101 Ways to Build Happy, Lasting Relationships.

Multilingual : English - Chinese Simplified - Chinese Traditional - Dutch - French - German - Greek - Italian - Japanese - Korean - Portuguese - Russian - Spanish

Go on a Date : Especially for married couples, but even for some dating couples, start dating. relationship

Anonymous said...

Sembra come se tutto stia parlando della wolf mark on platinum ringWith Respect, Kevin wolf mark on platinum ring

Anonymous said...

Coins are my passion. I love to look at them and hold. I think about the history of the coin in hand. Who used it at one time? Where has it been? Did this Morgan dollar actually participate in a poker game in the old west? Did someone get shot for cheating? Its fascinating when you consider this type question. So much history in a litle piece of metal.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, was looking at your blog and was pretty interesting stuff.

Anonymous said...

thanks for the infomation

Anonymous said...

Our network has been looking for a Passion business like yours to list in our World Directory & our forum.

Hey, there is no cost and it will only take a few minutes for you to register!

Your Silver Fox Business Building Team helping build your Passion business!

Anonymous said...

Hey,

What would you reply if I told you:
Can I please use some of your posts to create a book?

Does it matter? I will keep all your personal information intact, and even every word.... I only add my own words, however will not change any from the posts...

I am an author and will benefit due to lack of time...

Let me know:)

Thanks,
spyware eliminator

Anonymous said...

Cool site on man health Check out my Penis Enlargement Pills

Anonymous said...

Leave me your blog address at payday loan online and I'll be sure to add
it to my blogroll and come visit you. It's just over there on the right - just click
to add your pin to the map.

Anonymous said...

Hey Fellow, you have a top-notch blog here!
If you have a moment, please have a look at my winter clothing wholesale site.
Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Searching for Travel Guide?
We have collected together in one convenient place a wide assortment of Travel Guide information.

Anonymous said...

I have been looking for free love advice sites such as http://single-dating-service.org and I found this blog. It's really interesting.